Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.

Dr. Lawrence Climan: We are going to take a little trip together, you and I. We are going back in time. Going back before the pain. Before the fear.
Adrian Monk: Before the fear.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Good. You're with Trudy now.
Adrian Monk: No, no! Trudy. I'm gonna lose her again. I'm gonna lose her again!
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay. We're moving on. We're- We're- We're moving back a little further. Now, you're in high school.
Adrian Monk: It's third period. It's gym class. They're gonna make me climb that rope. I can't climb that rope.
I can't, please don't make me climb that rope.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay, no, no. We're moving back, moving back. Further back. Way back. Before the fear. Here we go. We are going back. [Monk smiles] Is that a smile? Are you happy? [Monk nods] Adrian, where are you? Where are you?

Lieutenant Disher: We're going to have to search all of these, with your permission, of course.
Aaron Larkin: Yeah, sure, be my guest. Whatever you need. You might not believe this, but, I want my wife found as much as you do. I've got nothing to hide.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I think you do. I think you have plenty to hide. He's in love with her.
Emily Carter: What?
Adrian Monk: I bet they want to get married, and go on a honeymoon, and, you know, kiss.
Emily Carter: Who, who is this person?
Adrian Monk: Look at his face. He's turning all red. Just admit it. You want to marry her. It's all over town.
Emily Carter: What does that mean?
Aaron Larkin: It's all right, Emily. This is Adrian Monk. He's famous. He's the best detective in California. And yeah, it's true. Emily and I are involved. As a matter of fact, I was with Emily the night Sally disappeared.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, if that checks out, it looks like you have an alibi then.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why didn't you tell us before?
Aaron Larkin: Well, Captain, it's a little, complicated.
Emily Carter: I'm technically still married.
Aaron Larkin: We've been keeping it secret for three years, But you saw right through it in two minutes, Mr. Monk. Well done. I am curious, though, how did you... What gave us away?
Adrian Monk: Cinchy. I saw you drinking out of her water bottle without wiping it off. You weren't afraid of her cooties.
Emily Carter: My cooties.

Dr. Lawrence Climan: You're safe. Okay? All your doubts, All your fears, are falling away. They're falling away. Can you feel them? Can you feel them falling away? Don't say anything. Just nod your head.
Adrian Monk: I'm nodding my head.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: But don't say you're nodding your head. Just nod your head.
Adrian Monk: I'm nodding my head.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: No, don't say you're nodding your head. Just nod your head.
Adrian Monk: I am nodding my head.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, forget the nodding.

Harold Krenshaw: Indecent exposure? There's no such thing. The human body is a beautiful thing! It is beautiful! The whole world is beautiful! You are beautiful. And so are you. Come on, let's all get naked. Let's all get naked! Free yourself! We were born free, just free yourself and let... [two police officers cuff Harold] I'm free.

Adrian Monk: Here's what happened. Your husband never abducted you. No one abducted you. It was a setup from the very beginning. You did spend three days in that cabin, but you weren't a prisoner. You were hiding out. You were waiting. You chained yourself up so the bruises would be real. And you starved yourself.
You were an actress, preparing for the biggest performance of your life. Then, last night, you went back to your house. You brought a rug from the cabin and you put it down to the floor. Then, you waited in the shadows. You killed him there, then dragged his body back to the cabin. It was show time. To the world, you were a woman who had escaped from her sadistic husband. You were a hero. A very wealthy hero.
Sally Larkin: Well, that's a very nice little story, Detective Monk.
Adrian Monk: It's more than a story. I can prove that you didn't spend three days in that cabin, chained to the floorboards. You made one mistake. While you were missing, we went to your house to question your husband. The captain was chewing some gum. He had some trouble. He ended up spitting it out. Last night, after the murder, you accidentally stepped on the same piece of gum. [removes gum from mouth] This piece of gum. The one that was stuck to your shoe.
Sally Larkin: You can't prove that's the same piece of gum. Gum is gum.
Adrian Monk: Not this gum. This is Disher-Mint gum. Diet blueberry. It's homemade. It was on your shoe.
Sally Larkin: You've been chewing that piece of gum for five hours?
Adrian Monk: No. I've been chewing this piece of gum for five and a... Half. Oh, my God. Chewing this gum for five and a half hours! [throws gum on the ground]

Natalie: It's a double rainbow. I've never seen one before. Aren't you gonna look?
Adrian Monk: I believe you. It's a double rainbow. Yeah, that must be her car.
Natalie: But, Mr. Monk, you have to look.
Adrian Monk: Why?
Natalie: Because it's beautiful and it's rare. Don't you have any sense of wonder?
Adrian Monk: Sure, I do. I wonder where the missing woman went.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, please just turn around.
Adrian Monk: Why, is this your rainbow? Did you commission this rainbow?
Natalie: No, it's your rainbow, at least it should be. Come on. Turn around. What do you think?
Adrian Monk: Not really a double rainbow, is it? "Double" implies equal. The top one is 40% smaller.
Natalie: Don't you see that? Don't you see how beautiful that is?
Adrian Monk: I'm trying. I just wish they were even.
Natalie: I'm so sorry.
Adrian Monk: Sorry about what?
Natalie: Sorry for you. You'll never know what you're missing.

Harold Krenshaw: Hey, buddy! What's going on? Natalie? Wow, you look fantastic.
Natalie: Oh, well, thank you, Harold. I think.
Harold Krenshaw: Do you get out of bed looking like that?
Adrian Monk: Harold, what are you doing here?
Harold Krenshaw: I'm just jogging by, enjoying the day. Oh, I love the city after it rains. It smells like perfume.
Adrian Monk: Does it?
Harold Krenshaw: Have you seen the double rainbow?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah, I know. They're not even.
Harold Krenshaw: Really? I didn't notice.
Adrian Monk: [chuckles] Right, me neither.

Harold Krenshaw: Look, I don't want to interrupt your work. I know you're busy. It is another murder?
Adrian Monk: You know what, Harold? Maybe.
Harold Krenshaw: They're lucky to have you. Listen to this man. He is a genius.
Adrian Monk: He doesn't mean that. You don't mean that.
Harold Krenshaw: Sure, I do. I do. I don't play that competitive game anymore. That was an emotional dead end. I have a new therapist. [sighs] I'm in a whole different place.
Adrian Monk: You, you have a new guy?
Harold Krenshaw: He's great.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, my new guy's great too. His first name is Neven. It's a palindrome.
Harold Krenshaw: Ah, I guess it is.
Adrian Monk: Oh, it is. It is.
Harold Krenshaw: I know that stuff is important to you. I guess I'm just a little more result-oriented these days. His name is Climan. Lawrence Climan. Give him a call.
Adrian Monk: Hypnotherapist? He's a hypnotist?
Harold Krenshaw: Mmm-hmm. Worked for me.
Natalie: Yeah, I- I guess it did.
Harold Krenshaw: Anyway, good luck. See you around campus. I just cannot get over that rainbow! It just makes you feel glad to be alive, doesn't it? Oh, I love this song! [sings] 16 girls standing in a row One says "hi," the other says "hello".

Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell is this? "Disher-Mint"?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I made it myself.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You made the gum?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, from a kit. I got it online. In my basement, I'm experimenting with a bunch of different flavors right now. Guess what this one is.
Natalie: Tar?
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's supposed to be diet blueberry. [Stottlemeyer gags] Is there too much citric acid?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, hell. Where'd it go?