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‘Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Monk: Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece

614. Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece

Aired February 1, 2008

While investigating two deaths at a junkyard, Monk takes up painting as a hobby and attracts the attention of an art collector.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Petya must be running late.
Natalie: Yeah, Mr. Monk, I've been doing a little research on your friend Petya. I Googled him. At least I tried to, and there's no record of him anywhere.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, people like Petya. Important people, wealthy people. They are un-Google-able.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, it doesn't work like that. It's not like an unlisted phone number.
Adrian Monk: Un-google-able! End of discussion.

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Quote from Dr. Kroger

Dr. Kroger: All right, all right, Adrian. Adrian, I understand. Now, you're feeling unfulfilled.
Adrian Monk: It's all the same. Crime scene, witness, suspect, question, answer.
Dr. Kroger: Okay, this- This is perfectly normal, Adrian. No job can completely satisfy anyone. There is more to life than just working.
Adrian Monk: I know that.
Dr. Kroger: Let me finish. Or cleaning.
Adrian Monk: Oh.

Quote from Dr. Kroger

Dr. Kroger: Adrian, we only have an hour.
Adrian Monk: Ssh. Don't move. It's almost done.
Dr. Kroger: You know, while we have a moment, my assistant said that you did not bring a check today.
Adrian Monk: This should take care of it. That ought to cover us till June.
Dr. Kroger: Yes, well, thank you for this. I- I hope you're not insulted, but I think I'd rather have the check.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Dr. Kroger: Maybe you should take up a hobby.
Adrian Monk: A hobby?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah. Outside of work. A creative outlet to express yourself.
Adrian Monk: A hobby?
Dr. Kroger: Yes, a hobby. It's great therapy. You know, I recently took up ballroom dancing.
Adrian Monk: Good for you.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, well. Unfortunately, Madeline, she doesn't love it as much as I do, so a lot of the time when I go to class, I don't have a partner.
Adrian Monk: I'm not gonna dance with you, Dr. Kroger. Don't. Don't make me dance with you, Dr. Kroger.
Dr. Kroger: No. No, Adrian, I am not suggesting-
Adrian Monk: I can't dance with you, Dr. Kroger.
Dr. Kroger: I didn't ask you to dance with me, Adrian. I was talking about a different hobby.
Adrian Monk: Not dancing.
Dr. Kroger: Not dancing! Not dancing.
Adrian Monk: Nothing personal.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Ms. Benson: People, don't look at the landscape, feel the landscape. Let the landscape speak to you. Yes! Angie, I love it. There's a wonderful negative energy. People, don't be afraid. Be fearless. You are an artist. You are fearless. There is no right or wrong here. [to Monk] I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.
Adrian Monk: Adrian.
Ms. Benson: Adrian. Who told you you could draw?
Adrian Monk: Natalie.
Ms. Benson: What are those?
Adrian Monk: Oh, clouds. That's how I see it.
Ms. Benson: Well, you're seeing it wrong.
Adrian Monk: You said there was no right or wrong.
Ms. Benson: Well... Never say that again.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Mr. Monk. Where's all my stuff?
Adrian Monk: Out back. It was distracting me.
Natalie: Well, what if it rains?
Adrian Monk: Then your stuff will get wet. Art requires a little sacrifice, Natalie.
Natalie: Wait, my curtains?
Adrian Monk: I took them down because I needed the light. Eastern light.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: C'est finis. Take a look. What do you think?
Natalie: Well, the Captain's gonna love it.
Adrian Monk: Why?
Natalie: Well, it- It's him, right?
Adrian Monk: No. It's you!
Natalie: Me?! But, she- I have a moustache.
Adrian Monk: It's a shadow. Natalie, this is my masterpiece. Take it. I want you to have it. Wait. Wait wait. There. Now Julie can go to college.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, is- Is that really how you see me?
Adrian Monk: You're a beautiful woman.

Quote from Natalie

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey hey, Picasso! Hey, look at you. You're really into it. I mean, you're really into it.
Lieutenant Disher: Who is that, Jimmy Buffet?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, that's Miss Piggy, right?
Lieutenant Disher: Looks like he's eating something.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What's the- What's that?
Natalie: It's me! And I love it.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Hector: [speaks Spanish]
Lieutenant Disher: Tuesday morning, he said he was here with Bennie, they found a table and a delicious bamboo salad.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A bamboo salad?
Lieutenant Disher: I think he's hiding something too.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think you're hiding something.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Ms. Benson: [to Petya] I know you came here to see Adrian, but there's so much interesting work being done at the school. For example, over there. And, well, look. Here's one example. This is mine. I call it marriage.
Petya Lovak: No, no, I'm sorry, not even close.
Adrian Monk: The lines are all squiggly. You have to make them straighter. Try using a ruler.
Ms. Benson: A ruler?!

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: What was I thinking? I'm no artist.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're no artist? Adrian Monk, you're a grand master. Leonardo de Vinci, or Pablo Picaso.
Adrian Monk: Just not with a paint brush.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Just not with a paint brush, that's for damn sure. Hey, how about stamp collector? That's a nice hobby. You get a little book, you put on the stamps in there, you line them all up.
Adrian Monk: Could arrange them by color it close.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, you could. You could arrange them any way you'd like. It's a hobby, after all.
Adrian Monk: They're all the same size?
Captain Stottlemeyer: If that's important to you, yes.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Do you love your job?
Dr. Kroger: Do I love my job? Yeah. No, not all the time. But most of the time, yeah, I love my job. Why, what's going on?
Adrian Monk: I just came from court. They convicted that David Grisham.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, right. I remember him. He strangled his wife. Well, congratulations.
Adrian Monk: It used to make me feel great. But today, all I could think was, so what? This creep's going away. There's ten other creeps out there ready to take his place. What good am I doing?
Dr. Kroger: I'm sure the families of the victim appreciate your work, and the people of San Francisco.
Adrian Monk: Uh, blah, blah, blah...

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: A hobby? I think that's a great idea.
Adrian Monk: I'm sure you do.
Natalie: What about collecting rocks? You love rocks.
Adrian Monk: Dr. Kroger says Rocks don't count. It has to be creative. I'm supposed to be expressing myself.
Natalie: All right, why don't you write a book, like a novel?
Adrian Monk: About what?
Natalie: I don't know.
Adrian Monk: Well, what would it be called? I mean, who would be in it? Would they say? Would the other people say?
Natalie: Okay, forget about the novel.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: God.
Natalie: You all right?
Adrian Monk: Why are people always killing people in places like this?
Natalie: I don't know, Mr. Monk. But I'll see what I can do.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: What was he doing here, Mr. Wentworth? What do you think he was after?
Bennie Wentworth: I don't know. Maybe he needed a carburetor. People need carburetors.
Adrian Monk: He's wearing a $2,000 suit. And those are Italian shoes. I think he could afford a carburetor.
Bennie Wentworth: Maybe he stole the suit. That's possible, isn't it? Maybe he stole the shoes! Maybe he was on a spree!
Adrian Monk: Suit, shoes, and a carburetor. What kind of spree is that?
Bennie Wentworth: I don't know. An eclectic spree.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Natalie: Do you have any enemies?
Bennie Wentworth: None that I can think of. Except for this guy, the bicycle thief. Ten bucks.
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Bennie Wentworth: Okay, five bucks. Final offer.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, give him five bucks.
Lieutenant Disher: Fine.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: I wonder what happened to his partner.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What partner?
Adrian Monk: It's a dirt road out there. There's very little dust on his shoes. Somebody must have dropped him off. Maybe they took off when they heard the gunshots.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Secure the road. Tell the crime scene techs to check for tire tracks.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Your bike.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Hey, Mr. Monk. How about painting?
Adrian Monk: Painting?
Natalie: As a hobby. I bet you'd love it. You're a very visual person.
Adrian Monk: I am?
Bennie Wentworth: You're a painter? I got everything you need right here. I just picked these up. I got a whole starting kit, good as new. I'll throw in these canvases! The whole shebang. $50.
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Painting. I don't think it's for me.
Natalie: I'll pay for it.
Adrian Monk: Okay.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: You're supposed to mix the colors.
Adrian Monk: I can't.
Natalie: Okay. Don't mix the colors. What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Washing the brush. I got paint on it.
Natalie: No, there's supposed to be paint.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: This feels familiar.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk! Miss Teeger. Welcome back. Bet you never thought you'd see this place again.
Adrian Monk: It's like a bad dream.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It is, isn't it?

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