Everybody Hates Chris Quotes

Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris is a fictional account of Chris Rock's teenage years in Brooklyn in the 1980s. The show follows Chris, his parents Julius and Rochelle, and siblings Drew and Tonya, as they move to Bedford-Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy) where Chris starts at a majority-White school.

Starring: Tyler James Williams, Terry Crews, Tichina Arnold, Tequan Richmond, Imani Hakim, Vincent Martella, Chris Rock.
Recurring Actors: Travis T. Flory, Jacqueline Mazarella, Kevontay Jackson, Ernest Thomas, Jeris Poindexter, Michel Estime, Antonio Fargas, Jackee Harry, Todd Bridges, J.B. Smoove, Earthquake, Tony Rock.
Original Run: 2005-2009.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Varsity Jackets

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Wanting a letter was one thing, figuring out how to get it was a whole other story.
Chris: How am I supposed to get a letter in a sport when I'm terrible at sports?
Greg: Maybe there's something a guy like you would be good at.
Chris: I need a sport without water, balls, hoops, hurdles, bats, cleats, clubs, gloves, tracks, fields, weights or boards.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Isn't that cheerleading?

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Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Sausage

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates the Pilot

Julius: I know you're not gonna threw that away. Eat that. That's 30 cents worth of oatmeal.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always knew what everything costs.
[montage:]
Julius: [retrieving a chicken wing from the trash] That's $1.09 in the trash.
Julius: [next to a tray of burnt biscuits] That's $2 on fire.
Julius: That's 49 cents of spilled milk dripping all over my table. Somebody's gonna drink this milk.

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Elections

Rochelle: I went to the beauty parlor and found out I lost $10. And Vanessa, my so-called friend, would only curl half my hair. Did you see my money laying around here somewhere?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Here's how that sounded to my father.
[fantasy:]
Rochelle: I went to the beauty parlor and discovered that I lost my $10. [garbled babbling] Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa.
[reality:]
Julius: You lost $10? That's $10 worth of dollars.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Vanessa in Everybody Hates Big Bird

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I realized my mistake, and Vanessa realized that going out with Kill Moves wasn't a mistake at all.
Rochelle: You were out all night?
Vanessa: Oh, girl, that's just the start of it. We opened the champagne, headed for the seaport. There was a pink helicopter waiting for me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You can hear about the rest of Vanessa's date at www.vanessasbigdatewithkillmoves.tv

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Father's Day

Rochelle: Well, it's the thought that counts.
Julius: I appreciate it, I really do, but if you buy me presents, I'm just gonna have to work to pay it off. At this rate, I'll be working when I'm dead.
[fantasy: Julius is in his casket down at the depot:]
Boss: Julius, you're dead. What are you doing here?
Julius: Trying to pay off these presents. Listen, can I work the graveyard shift?

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Keisha

Sheila: Rochelle, I love your place. How you keep it so clean with three kids?
Rochelle: Oh, no, my children know how to act. They know, once they walk through that front door, I don't tolerate no foolishness.
Sheila: Uh-uh.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's Sheila, Keisha's mother. My mother didn't make a lot of friends, because she's, what I like to call, a ghetto snob.
[flashback:]
Rochelle: Look at that woman out here with rollers in her hair.
Tonya: Mama, you have rollers on.
Rochelle: Yeah, but I'm wearing a scarf. No class.