Adult Chris: [v.o.] When I was elected president at Corleone, my school was way ahead of its time. The rest of the country didn't get a Black president until Clinton. Like all presidents, I had made campaign promises that were gonna be hard to keep.
[montage:]
Chris: I promise you, no more rope climbing in gym unless your favorite sport is climbing rope.
Chris: I promise, no more homework on Saturday, unless you gotta be in school on Sunday.
Chris: I promise all our book reports will be on books that were made into movies.
Chris: I promise you rubber floors, so that when the bully knocks you down, you'll bounce right back up.
Chris: We've got spring break, we've got summer break, what about a fall break and a winter break? I don't want to come to school when it's hot, so why would I have to come to school when it's cold?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was looking for help, my Uncle Michael was looking for a free meal.
Michael: Big Man!
Drew: Hey, Uncle Mike.
Michael: Hey, I didn't know y'all was having dinner.
Julius: Why would you? It's only dinnertime.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My Uncle Michael didn't have a job, so he was always free to stop by and free to eat some free food.
[montage:]
Michael: I didn't know y'all was having breakfast.
Michael: I didn't know y'all was having lunch.
Michael: I didn't know y'all was having pancakes.
Julius: We in a pancake house.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father and Michael didn't get along because whatever my father said, my uncle said the opposite.
[flashback to Julius & Michael at a car lot:]
Julius: I like the Ford.
Uncle Mike: I like the Chevy.
[flashback to Julius & Michael in the subway looking at posters for museum exhibits:]
Julius: I want to go see Picasso.
Uncle Mike: I want to go see Matisse.
[flashback to Julius and Michael drinking beer on the stoop:]
Julius: Tastes great.
Uncle Mike: Less filling.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] To win my office, I told them everything they wanted to hear. There was only one problem. Hey, listen.
[montage:]
Boy #1: You promised you take us to a Knicks Game.
Boy #2: You promised I get new locker.
Custodian: You promised I'd get a raise.
Lunch Lady: You promised I'll get a shave.
Boy #3: You promised we'll get some real meat.
Boy #4: [speaks Spanish]
Girl: What are you gonna do about it?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had no idea what I was going to do. So I did what all great leaders do.
Chris: I'll get right on it. I promise.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at school, I stopped making promises, and started making demands.
Chris: I'd like all book reports to be on books that were made into movies.
Ms. Morello: Are you high? I'm asking, not judging.
Chris: No. I'm just trying to fulfill my campaign promises.
Mrs. Milone: Just for curiosity's sake, what else did you promise?
Chris: A TV in the library, more field trips, instituting recess, and no more detention.
Ms. Morello: Chris, how are you going to know how to act when you get stopped by the police if we don't give you detention?

Chris: Well, you're saying that, even though I'm Class President, I can't change anything around here?
Mrs. Milone: Exactly.
Chris: Well, if I don't have any power, how can you let them impeach me? I mean, come on, I can't do anything. Can I at least get French fries at lunch?
Ms. Morello: I always thought you'd be more the sweet potato type.
Mrs. Milone: The point is, Chris, the students run the student government, and they can do what they want.
Chris: And I can't do anything.
Mrs. Milone: That's not true. Maybe you can talk them into letting you stay in office.
Ms. Morello: That's a good idea. Give another one of those speeches. But if I can make a suggestion, maybe this time you should try rhyming.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Maybe you should try Prozac.

Joey Caruso: All right, Kingfish, you got the floor.
Chris: Okay, over the past few days, rumors have been circulated about me. The press have put out stories saying that I'm guilty of a lot of things.
Joey Caruso: Are you done?
Chris: No. I didn't do any of those things. I'm not a crook. Nevertheless...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] After talking to Greg, I imagined what my father would say to me.
[fantasy:]
Julius: So you're just gonna quit, huh? All these people who made it possible for you to become the first Black class president, and now you're just gonna quit?
Tuskegee Airman: Yeah, and what if we quit? Black people would never have become pilots.
Aunt Jemima: If I had quit, pancakes would taste like crap!
Cream of Wheat Man: If I had quit, Cream of Wheat would have been called Cream of White!
Uncle Ben: If I had quit, it would take hours to cook rice.
Julius: Chris, I know you don't think being eight-grade class president is a big deal, but one day, it will be.

Chris: I didn't mean any of that stuff. Caruso stole my speech. He's no better than me.
Greg: Yeah, but he didn't win. Now you're stuck with all those campaign promises.
Chris: All presidents lie to get elected. What do they do?
Greg: Distraction. They just force the press to cover other, more benign issues, until the public loses interest in the story.
Chris: Maybe we should ignore the problem till it goes away.
Greg: I was thinking more like setting the cafeteria on fire, but we'll try it your way first.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father was tired from work and tired of Uncle Michael.
Julius: Where's Uncle Michael?
Chris: Oh, he's upstairs asleep in my room.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sounds like a night at the Neverland Ranch.

Chris: Did you know I didn't have any power?
Greg: What are you talking about you got no power? You're the president.
Chris: I'm a figurehead, like Mayor McCheese, like Colonel Sanders, like Dr. Detroit.