Chris: I want you to run with me. I want you to be my vice president.
Greg: No.
Chris: Yeah.
Greg: Oh, man. This is great. I can work behind the scenes. I can influence the judiciary committee. I can confer with the joint chiefs. Create policy!
Chris: Greg, it's the eighth grade.
Greg: I know, but this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was until he met Seven of Nine at a Trekkie convention.

Rochelle: Baby, what do you have to be stressed out about? You have a beautiful wife, two good jobs, and three wonderful kids, a nice home in Bed-Stuy... [chuckles] You're stressed? I mean, I'm the one who should be stressed. I mean, I got to deal with a house in the ghetto, three crazy kids, a man that's never home, and now I got to deal with you and this high blood pressure. [scoffing] You- You're stressed.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] In 1984, Michael Jackson became the biggest star on Earth, but to my sister Tonya, he couldn't hold a candle to Billy Ocean.
Drew: What are you doing?
Tonya: I'm learning the steps from "Caribbean Queen."
Drew: There are no steps to "Caribbean Queen."
Tonya: Yes, there are. First he does like this, then he does like this, then he does like this, and then he does this, and he finishes off with this. He also does the moonwalk, but I don't know how to do that yet.
Drew: Billy Ocean doesn't moonwalk. That's Michael Jackson's move.
Tonya: Where do you think Michael got it from?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Peg Leg Bates.

Rochelle: [on the phone] Yes, that's one bedroom at $425 a month. Rochelle with two "L"s. All right, thank you.
Julius: Where are you going?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The biggest change for my mother was that she decided to do something she hadn't done in years, keep a job. Normally, she would do this.
[flashback to Rochelle directing traffic:]
Rochelle: [whistle blows] Come on! Let's go! Move this ugly car out the way! Hey...! What in the hell are you doing?! I don't need this mess! My man has two jobs! Two!

Chris: I don't want to run without you, and together, we can't win.
Greg: Who cares? Run with DiPaolo. Let me be your campaign manager.
Chris: Campaign manager?
Greg: Yeah. We can do this. I'll manipulate the press corps. I'll contact the foreign media outlets.
Chris: Greg? It's the eighth grade.

Rochelle: Okay, Mr. I'm Good... Well, what are we supposed to do to reduce your stress?
Julius: Well, the doctor says I'm supposed to participate in some stress-reducing activities, like golf.
Rochelle: Golfing. Where are you going to golf?
Julius: Fishing.
Rochelle: Where you gonna fish, in Lake Brooklyn?
Julius: Hiking.
Rochelle: [chuckles] Come on, man, where you going, Mount Vernon?
Julius: Hammocking.
Rochelle: Hammock? Where are you going to buy a hammock?
Julius: Regular massages.
Rochelle: Oh, you ain't getting a massage by nobody. You better price some hammocks. [scoffs] Stressed. [muttering] Now I got to deal with this...

Ms. Morello: I know you're having a tough time getting on that ballot, but I think you have a real chance at becoming class president if you really want it.
Chris: What do you mean?
Ms. Morello: You need to rise above your ghetto mentality.
Chris: Ghetto mentality? I don't have a ghetto mentality.
Ms. Morello: You do, Chris. A psychological ghetto. You won't get supporters because you don't get out of your comfort zone. I'm sure all your athlete and dancer friends have signed on, but what now? You need to reach out, broaden your appeal.
Chris: And how am I supposed to do that?
Ms. Morello: I don't know. But I'm confident you'll figure it out. And remember, Chris: Up with hope, down with dope.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] We had tried renting out the apartment upstairs before, but every time we did, we had a problem. One lady had a crazy dog.
Chris: No, no! No, no! [barking] Ms. Parnell! No! No! No, n-n-n-n-no! [screams] Aah...!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Then we had Levi the weed guy.
Julius: Levi! [reggae music plays]
Levi: What-a want?
Julius: You got to leave.
Levi: What's wrong, man?
Julius: My kids are high.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The Fong family tried to turn the apartment into a Chinese restaurant.
Julius: Mr. Fong! Mr. Fong, what is this?!
Mr. Fong: [speaks Chinese]
Julius: Man, I'm not getting to the back of the line. Man, you got to shut this down and get the hell out of here. And give me a number six.
Mr. Fong: Number six. Ooh, very good. [yells in Chinese]
Julius: [to a customer] What you getting?

Tonya: Can you teach me to moonwalk? I can't get it.
Drew: Why do you like Billy Ocean so much, anyway?
Tonya: Because, he's the greatest entertainer in history.
Drew: He's not better than Michael Jackson.
Tonya: Shoot, he's way better than Michael Jackson. I bet you in the future, 20 years from now, nobody's going to remember who Michael Jackson is.
Drew: That's why I'm not going to teach you how to do the Michael Jackson moonwalk.
Tonya: It's the Billy Ocean moonwalk. Michael Jackson stole it.
Drew: Fine. Have it your way.

Julius: Stop it. Okay? I got high blood pressure. What do you want me to do?
Rochelle: I don't know, Julius; what do you want me to do?
Julius: I don't know, but you running around not talking to me and making me wear dirty clothes and letting me eat by myself ain't helping a thing. [sighs] I don't need you to be mad at me.
Rochelle: I was just trying to help you out.
Julius: I know. I'm sorry. Look, from now on, I'll try to relax. I'll try to eat better.
Rochelle: Julius, if you are not in this house, this place will fall apart. And then, the next thing you know, our kids will wind up in the streets. Drew may wind up in jail, then I'm going to lose my job going to his court cases. And you know I'm going to do what I have to do to make ends meet. And if you think I'm going to jail for welfare fraud, you got another thing coming.