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‘Everybody Hates Earth Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Earth Day

318. Everybody Hates Earth Day

Aired April 20, 2008

Chris asks Julius to help him collect cans for an Earth Day project. After Tonya gets in trouble for yelling at a classmate, Rochelle agrees to tone down her shouting.

Quote from Rochelle

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I had my father on my side, my mother was going to get a teacher off of Tonya's back.
Rochelle: I don't see why I have to take a whole day off of work, to come down here for this nonsense.
Mrs. Wilson: I don't think it's nonsense. Tonya was exhibiting some aggressive behavior toward a classmate. I just wanted you to be aware of it.
Tonya: I was just trying to read, and she wouldn't be quiet.
Rochelle: Girl, you interrupt me again, I'm going to knock the sound out of your mouth.


Quote from Tonya

Julius: What happened?
Tonya: I was trying to study and this girl kept talking so I told her: [in Rochelle's voice]: "If you don't shut up, I'm going to slap the chatter out of you." And she left me alone.
Drew: Wow, you sound just like mom.
Rochelle: No, she doesn't.
Julius: She does. I mean, just a little.

Quote from Vanessa

Vanessa: I help the environment by wearing wigs. People put a whole lot of chemicals in their hair. Then they wash it out. It goes right into the river. People got to drink that water. When you done with a wig, just flush it down the toilet. If it ends up in your glass, well, at least you can see it.

Quote from Greg

Greg: While I was making my tanning bed, I accidentally invented an incandescent light bulb that won't burn out for 600 years.
Chris: That's amazing. Then you'll definitely get an "A."
Greg: I can't turn that in.
Chris: Why not?
Greg: Are you crazy? I'd be a marked man. I'm not taking down every major power company in the nation. They'd have me killed in a minute. So I decided to switch projects. I'm going with a dung-powered radar system.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] US patent #D349127.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: So this means that I'm going to go back to yelling at everybody.
Tonya: Because you love us?
Rochelle: Exactly.
Tonya: So I can yell at you, too?
Rochelle: Mmm, if you want the fillings knocked out of your face, go right ahead.

Quote from Ms. Morello

Ms. Morello: So, Chris, tell us about your Earth Day project.
Chris: Oh, well, me and my dad collected a truckful of cans.
Ms. Morello: Chris, that's wonderful.
Chris: And I gave the money to somebody less fortunate. I mean, there's no reason to save the Earth if you can't save the people.
Ms. Morello: Oh, Chris, that's so profound. Other than the fact that you can see, Stevie Wonder's got nothing on you.

Quote from Michael

Michael: I use "I Can't Believe This Is Not Margarine." It tastes real great. Plus it has paudridridamadra-hydraglycerin. That saves cows.

Quote from Mr. Omar

Mr. Omar: If the Earth died, that would be tragic, but I sure like to sell that coffin.

Quote from Kill Moves

Ms. Morello: I know in my heart, that money is somehow going to help us all.
Doc: So we have 13 Styrofoam ice chests, four cans of aerosol spray paint, one pack of cigarettes, a gallon of whisky and one container of "I Can't Believe It's Not Margarine." Would that be paper or plastic?
Kill Moves: Plastic.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Happy Earth Day.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Listen to this: "Dear Parent, Your daughter Tonya has been cited for a conduct violation, and your presence is being requested for a conference."
Julius: What kind of conduct violation?
Tonya: She said I was being rude and belligerent.
Rochelle: Ain't no damn body rude and belligerent. I'm going to go down there and show them what rude and belligerent is.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No kidding.
Rochelle: Rude and belligerent.

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