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‘Everybody Hates Doc’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Doc

406. Everybody Hates Doc

Aired November 7, 2008

Chris doesn't like working for Doc's new girlfriend, Stacy (Robin Givens). Meanwhile, Tonya tries to get boys' attention by wearing a stuffed bra to school.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Okay, I'm gonna ask this question once. But before I ask it, I want y'all to understand what the stakes are. Because if y'all say that you've never seen that bra before, I'm gonna kill your father. Yeah, and then I'm gonna go to jail, and then you guys are gonna be split up and sent to live in foster care.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sounds like a BET movie-of-the-week.
Rochelle: So, does everybody understand? Okay. Okay, the question is, did anybody sitting at this table put that bra in your father's sock drawer?
Chris: No.
Drew: Wasn't me. [Rochelle turns to Tonya]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We have a winner.
Rochelle: Okay, boys, you can go to bed now.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Gladly!
Rochelle: Julius, you can leave, too. You're lucky.

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Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Believe it or not, Doc's girlfriend was only the second-worst boss I've had. Mr. Fong was the worst. And I could only imagine how hard it would be working for him again.
[fantasy:]
Mr. Fong: Hey, quit imagining what it would be like to work for me and get back to work, Lionel Richie.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was happy Doc had a girlfriend. Too bad I have to kill her.

Quote from Rochelle

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While one innocent man was off the hook, another was on death row and didn't even know it.
Julius: I love this song. Dinner smells delicious. What is it?
Rochelle: Two breasts.
Julius: Since when have you been interested in guns?
Rochelle: Since I found this bra in your sock drawer! [slams a knife into the table]
Julius: Rochelle?
Rochelle: What?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If my father had been paying attention, he would've noticed a few things.
Julius: I don't know anything about that bra. I've never seen that bra in my life?
Rochelle: So what was it doing in your sock drawer?
Julius: I have no idea.
Rochelle: Oh. Did a pair of your socks have a date last night and get lucky? Or maybe a pair of your socks thought it was a bra trapped inside socks' body! Or maybe you had a friend over, and she put 'em there.

Quote from Greg

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I asked Greg what to do about Stacy, and he gave me the advice he always gave regarding women.
Greg: I don't know what to tell you, dude.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Thanks.

Quote from Julius

Julius: You getting paid to do whatever keeps that woman happy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like James Brolin.
Chris: Why do I have to do that?
Julius: That's why they call it a "job," Chris. Apparently, you got it mixed up with a vacation.
Chris: There's nothing I can do?
Julius: Well...
[fantasy: Chris watches as a van pulls up next to Stacy, two men jump out, blindfold her and shove her in the back of the van before driving off]
Chris: Don't you think that's taking it a little far?
Julius: If it is, then it must not be that bad.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since having Stacy kidnapped was out of my price range, I decided to make my case with Doc.
Doc: What are you doing here, Chris? You don't work till tomorrow.
Chris: I came to talk to you about Stacy.
Drew: I love Stacy. She came by today and brought me a pie. And if she was 13, I'd probably have to take her from you, Doc.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You'd have to get past R. Kelly first.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?
Stacy: Well, I don't understand why I have to wait to be served while you hold a spot for somebody that obviously doesn't respect your business enough to show up here on time. Or is that why the place is empty?
Rochelle: Now wait a minute, Miss Thing. I have two questions for you. Who are you and--?
Vanessa: And who asked you?
Stacy: I'm Stacy Deveaux. It's French.
Rochelle: Mm, do you want to hear some more French?

Quote from Chris

Greg: Stacy really that bad?
Chris: Last weekend, she made me give her grandmother a bath.
[flashback:]
Old Woman: Chris, I hear you sneaking out! Don't you leave me in this tub again!
[present:]
Greg: Why don't you just quit? You can find another job.
Chris: Not like this one. I mean, I make decent money, it's close to my house, and I can make my own hours. It's either Doc's or I start dealing crack.

Quote from Greg

Greg: How come she's not with Doc anyways? Where is he?
Chris: He plays chess in the park on weekends.
Greg: Just get her to go with him.
Chris: Thanks, Captain Obvious. How am I supposed to do that?
Greg: I don't know, citizen. Captain Obvious only gives you the obvious solution. The rest is up to you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Kind of like Google.

Quote from Julius

Rochelle: Tonya, that's a nice necklace. Where'd you get it?
Tonya: Oh, this boy gave it to me.
Julius: Well, give it back. You're too young to be getting gifts from boys.
Rochelle: [sighs] Julius, don't get carried away. It's just a plastic necklace.
Julius: Next it'll be a plastic bracelet, then a plastic ring. I want this to stop at the neck.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He said that till she turned 35.

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