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‘Everybody Hates Snow Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Snow Day

213. Everybody Hates Snow Day

Aired February 5, 2007

Chris treks to school through the snow when it appears Corleone is open. Meanwhile, Julius is left to look after Drew and Tonya when they stay home.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father couldn't leave Drew and Tonya home alone, because if you pull that Home Alone crap in a Black neighborhood, they take away your kids.

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Quote from Mr. Omar

Mrs. Booker: Can I help you?
Julius: I was looking for Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Oh, hey, Julius. Yeah, this is my friend Mrs. Booker.
Julius: I'm sorry about your husband.
Mr. Omar: Yeah, caught a deadly case of botulism. Tragic, tragic.
Mrs. Booker: How did you know-
Mr. Omar: Baby, why don't you go and put that record on for me?

Quote from Risky

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The snow stopped the traffic, but it couldn't stop Risky.
Risky: Julius! Julius!
Julius: Risky?
Risky: What are you doing out here, man?
Julius: Chris is stuck at school. I gotta get him. Can you help me out?
Risky: Oh, sorry, no room, man. Me and my man, Nanook, out here trying to make money on these cross-country skis. You want a pair?
Julius: How much?

Quote from Rochelle

Chris: Do I have to go to school? I mean, it's snowing like crazy.
Rochelle: It's snow, Chris, not Armageddon. Now hurry up. You know the buses are going to be running slow. Go.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because my mother wanted us to get the best education possible, as long as school was open, we had to go no matter what.
[flashback to Tonya in bed:]
Rochelle: Ooh, baby, your temperature is 103.
Tonya: Can I stay home from school?
Rochelle: No. Just put this ice pack under your hat. You'll be all right.
[flashback to Drew vomiting in the toilet:]
Rochelle: Ooh, baby, I think you got food poisoning.
Drew: Can I stay home from school?
Rochelle: No. Drink this ipecac. You'll be all right.

Quote from Rochelle

Gunman: Come on, the bag! Put it in the bag! Get to the back! Come on!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had lost her money, but there was only so much she could take.
Rochelle: Good day to rob a train, huh?
Gunman: Watch your mouth!
Rochelle: Why?! You done already took my money! What else you gonna take, my seat?
Gunman: I might shoot you!
Rochelle: And you might go to jail! You got six bullets and nine passengers, which leaves three witnesses, and 25 years to life!
Luther: Don't shoot her, shoot me.
Gunman: Don't tell me who to shoot!
Rochelle: What are you, trying to get shot?!
Gunman: Shut up! [the woman screams again] Will you be quiet?!
Rochelle: Sit down.

Quote from Mr. Omar

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at home, Drew and Tonya were monopolizing all of Mr. Omar's time.
Drew: Boardwalk with a hotel. Looks like somebody owes me $2,000.
Mr. Omar: Dang. Tragic.
Tonya: Mr. Omar, how come every time we see you with a woman, their husband just died?
Mr. Omar: Well, that's because I'm a funeral director, baby.
Tonya: But when the wives die, how come you don't make friends with the husbands?
Mr. Omar: Oh, well, men don't need as much attention.
Drew: Man, if my wife died, I'd be crying, sitting at home by myself wondering what I'm gonna do, how to go on. I'd be wishing anybody would talk to me.
Mr. Omar: Well, women are sensitive, you know, in a different kind of way.
Tonya: Oh, I thought that women were like that because they were desperate.
Mr. Omar: Roll the dice, baby.

Quote from Chris

Chris: You know I didn't mean to break it.
Principal Edwards: It's okay. It's just a vase. A vase that changed my life.
Chris: Sometimes I wish I could change my life. Go places like you. Get away from the school. The neighborhood. Caruso.
Principal Edwards: Doesn't work like that. As long as you're you, they'll always be a Caruso.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought about living in Japan.
[fantasy:]
Joey Caruso: Arigato, Slappy.
[fantasy:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In London.
Joey Caruso: Cheerio, Nipsy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Morocco.
Joey Caruso: Asalamalakem, Flip.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, there were more kids at my house than there were at my school.
Chris: Hello? Is anyone here?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wouldn't put it past all the other kids to hide from me.

Quote from Drew

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was getting snowed in, back at home, the word was out.
Weatherman: [on TV] To repeat, city buses are experiencing delays of up to four hours due to closings and hazardous conditions. Now here's a list of the latest school closures. Corleone Junior High...
Tonya: Daddy, look, Chris' school is closed.
Julius: What?
Drew: See, it says Corleone Junior High School.
Julius: If his school is closed, how come he hasn't called?
Drew: Maybe he got trapped in a snowdrift and had to eat his own mouth to survive.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's a thought.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was the only one in school, but Principal Edwards handled things by the book. He took attendance.
Principal Edwards: Caroline? Chris?
Chris: Here.
Principal Edwards: Chris. Eddie?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We said the Pledge of Allegiance.
Both: One nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since I was the only one in class, he let me say the Black Pledge of Allegiance.
Both: One nation under a groove getting down just for the funk of it. One nation and we're on the move. Nothing can stop us now.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] After lunch, we sang "Aqua Boogie."

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