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‘Everybody Hates Rejection’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Rejection

201. Everybody Hates Rejection

Aired October 1, 2006

After his crush Keisha moves away, Chris asks a girl out on a date. Meanwhile, Rochelle doesn't exactly hit it off with her new neighbor, Louise Clark (guest star Whoopi Goldberg), as Bed-Stuy suffers a crime wave.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Oh, baby, have a good time. But not too good a time, 'cause you know I'm not raising no babies.

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Quote from Rochelle

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother was a ghetto snob, so to her, this wasn't just a block watch meeting. It was a Rochelle watch meeting.
Julius: What's all this?
Rochelle: Food for the block watch meeting.
Julius: You're supposed to be watching the block, not feeding it.
Rochelle: Julius, I can't invite people over here without feeding them.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] People in my neighborhood never got together without bringing food.
[flashback to Rochelle arriving in hospital to see a man in an entire body cast:]
Rochelle: Oh, I am so sorry you got run over by a truck. But I brought you some ribs.
[flashback to Rochelle going outside to a grieving mother standing by a chalk outline on the road:]
Woman: My baby! They killed my baby. [sobs]
Rochelle: I'm sorry about your baby. Catfish?

Quote from Julius

Julius: Enjoy yourself. This is half off on a soda and box of Jujubes.
Chris: Thanks.
Julius: Oh, what the hell. Here's a coupon for a free box of popcorn.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The last time my father gave away an extra coupon was when I gave him a get-one coupon, get-one-coupon-free coupon.
Julius: Have a good time. You look good, man. [chuckles] That's my boy.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Standing there waiting for Yvette was one of the best feelings I'd had. But after 15 minutes, I thought, "Maybe the buses are running late." After 30 minutes, I thought, "Maybe the bus broke down." After an hour, I thought, "Maybe the bus got in an accident, skidded through the guardrail, exploded in midair, and ended up at the bottom of the East River." After the movie was over, I thought, "Maybe she never got on that bus at all." To this day, I can't make it through Footloose without crying.

Quote from Jerome

Adult Chris: [v.o.] We had only been living in Bed-Stuy for a year when the crime rate started to go through the roof. In the late '90s, they had the Internet boom, but in the '80s, we had the crack boom. It used to take years to become a junkie, but crack cut that down to 37 minutes. Even on my block, things were starting to get out of control. The muggers were getting mugged.
Jerome: [to a boy] Let me hold a quarter.
Mugger: What's up, little man? Let me hold a dollar right quick. I'll take that quarter, too.

Quote from Jerome

White Cop: Now, what's very important, also, in the Block Watch program is, if you are away from your house for any extended period of time...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In Bed-Stuy, that's 12 minutes.
White Cop: ...you must alert the other Block Watch members.
Louise Clarkson: And they will watch your property.
White Cop: Correct. Nicely done. All right, like let's say one of you is on your way to Florida...
Rochelle: Florida?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The closest my family came to Florida, was watching Esther Rolle on Good Times.
Vanessa: Now I get it. Then the rest of us can watch out for their house.
Jerome: I'll take the night shift.

Quote from Vanessa

White Cop: Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies... Let's put it to a vote.
Rochelle: Please.
White Cop: Okay.
Vanessa: Who made the pie?
Rochelle: I did.
Vanessa: I nominate Rochelle to be the first Block Watch captain.
Louise Clarkson: Uh-uh. No. You cannot nominate because she made some pie.
Jerome: It's some good pie.
Louise Clarkson: Shut up.

Quote from Jerome

White Cop: Okay, okay. Any questions, any questions?
Jerome: I have one. So, what type of places would you consider to be the most vulnerable? Like, say an offender was gonna break into somebody's house. Who would be the best victim?
White Cop: That's a very good question.
Vanessa: No, it's not. You just break into a house where nobody's home.
White Cop: That's right.
Jerome: Cool. I got to go.
Louise Clarkson: What? Oh!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] With a four second head start, Jerome stole four stereos.

Quote from Greg

Greg: That's a bummer man. Did she say what happened?
Chris: I haven't heard from her. Why do girls do junk like that?
Greg: I don't know what to tell you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg and I had the same conversation last night and he still didn't know what to tell me.
Greg: That sucks. Man, I don't know how you made it to school today. Stood up, out there on the street, talk about embarrassing. If I were you, I'd be so depressed, I'd be standing on the top of the Brooklyn Bridge with a hundred pounds of rocks tied around my ankles and a bag of rats wrapped around my head, ready to jump...
Chris: Okay, I get it.
Greg: Forget about it, man. You're a nice guy.
Chris: Aren't you the same one who called me a little Black bum?
Greg: Like I said, I was improvising. If it makes you feel any better, I would have shown up.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That didn't mean anything. Greg once showed up at a sneaker-string taste test.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Hey! I'm watching you!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because my mother was the Block Watch captain, if anything happened in the neighborhood, Miss Louise made sure she heard about it.
[montage:]
Louise Clarkson: They're spraying graffiti downstairs.
Rochelle: I'll file a report.
Louise Clarkson: There's a mad dog chasing people!
Rochelle: I'll file a report.
Louise Clarkson: Somebody stole my mail.
Rochelle: I'll file a report.
Louise Clarkson: I can't find my glasses.
Rochelle: I'll file a report.
Louise Clarkson: Larry and them coming.
Rochelle: I'll file a report.

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