Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mission with Caruso was simple, find out things without getting found out.
Greg: What happened? Did he spot us?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, but only because he didn't see us behind that mustache.
Chris: How are you going to follow someone with a fake mustache and a Hawaiian shirt and expect them not to notice you?
Greg: Works for Magnum, P.I.
Chris: Number one, Tom Selleck is a 45-year-old man. Two, he wears Hawaiian shirts in Hawaii. There, they're just shirts. It's like Chinese food in China.
Greg: Nothing could be further from the truth. There's Mandarin, Cantonese, Szechuan, my favorite, Hunan, Shanghai...