Trending ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Quotes

Quote from Vanessa in Everybody Hates Big Bird

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I realized my mistake, and Vanessa realized that going out with Kill Moves wasn't a mistake at all.
Rochelle: You were out all night?
Vanessa: Oh, girl, that's just the start of it. We opened the champagne, headed for the seaport. There was a pink helicopter waiting for me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You can hear about the rest of Vanessa's date at


Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Eggs

Rochelle: Ah. There are the eggs.
Julius: Now, see? That's what's running the bill up. You just used 11 cents worth of electricity. Why can't you figure out what's in the refrigerator before you open it?
Rochelle: Because I can't see through the door.

Quote from Tonya in Everybody Hates the Buddy System

Adult Chris: [v.o.] All that could save Tonya was a sad look.
Julius: What's going on?
Tonya: Mom's really mad at me.
Julius: [sighs] Tell me what happened.
Tonya: I just wanted to wear earrings like my friends, so I took Mom's gold hoops, and I lost one.
Julius: Oh, Tonya.
Tonya: Do you think maybe I could save up and buy another pair?
Julius: It's not about the money, Tonya. I gave your mother those earrings. You can't replace them.
Tonya: What are you going to do?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father could've spanked Tonya, or grounded her until she was grown, but he said something that made her feel worse than all of that.
Julius: I'm really disappointed in you.
[fantasy: Tonya is on her bed wearing Oriental clothes:]
Tonya: Father, I have brought disgrace to myself and to our family.
Julius: Tonya, no!
Tonya: Leave me now, Father. I must whup myself until you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Cutting School

Tonya: Daddy, can you come up to our school, too?
Julius: No, baby, I have to renew my driver's license tomorrow.
Rochelle: Baby, I thought you did that already.
Julius: Mm-mm. A new license costs $17.50. And I'm not giving them people my money until I have to.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father waited until the last possible moment to pay for everything-- and I mean everything.
Meter Maid: Your meter's only got a minute left.
Julius: When that quarter runs out, I'll put in this one.
Rochelle: Baby, you're almost out of gas.
Julius: When that gas runs out, I'll put in some new gas.
Doctor: Push. Push.
Rochelle: Julius, would you just pay the man, please?!
Julius: When the baby's all the way out, I'll give him all the money.