Tonya: Who died?
Mr. Omar: Oh. Mr. Abernathy. Got decapitated by a flying hubcap. Tragic. Tragic!
Tonya: Is that his wife?
Mr. Omar: Mm-hmm.
Tonya: Mmm.

Drew: Where's my money?
Mr. Omar: You said you were coming back tomorrow.
Drew: It is tomorrow.
Mr. Omar: It's 4:00 in the morning, man.
Drew: I want my money.
Mr. Omar: Drew, I got to get up in the morning and go to work.
Drew: And I got to get up and go to school, but I can't concentrate because I don't have my money.
Mr. Omar: [sighs heavily] Okay, okay. Can you give me another day?
Drew: Fine. [stops Mr. Omar closing the door] But another day is going to cost you another dollar. And after tomorrow, that's it.
Mr. Omar: What's it?
Drew: Nothing. I'd just hate to see something bad happen.
Mr. Omar: What kind of something?
Drew: Something tragic. Have a nice night.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew went on to help found Death Row Records.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was counting my blessings, Mr. Omar had to pay the piper.
Mr. Omar: I know it's hard to lose your husband. But remember, he's in a better place right now.
[When Mr. Omar opens the door to the limousine, he finds Drew sitting in the car]
Mr. Omar: Drew?!
Drew: Where's my money?
Mr. Omar: Man, we're on our way to a funeral.
Drew: You want to make it two? You're not going anywhere until I get my money.
Mr. Omar: [to the widow] You got five dollars I could borrow?
Drew: Seven.
Mr. Omar: Seven.
Widow: This is coming out of your bill.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Mr. Omar hated paying back money even if it wasn't his.
Drew: Thank you. And, uh, sorry about your husband.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At least one of them is.

Chris: Have you ever been to a spin the bottle party?
Greg: Hi. I don't believe we've met before. My name is Greg. No, I haven't been to a spin the bottle party. I mean, I haven't been to a party. Why would you even ask me that?
Chris: Because I'm trying to get into one.
Greg: Hold on. You do know what they do at those parties, right?
Chris: Yeah. People kiss.
Greg: Oh. I must be thinking of a different kind of game, then.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg wrote about that party in his book, Ow, There's a Bottle in My...

Mr. Omar: Oh, hey, hey! Drew, Drew. You got, uh, five dollars I could borrow?
Drew: I don't loan money.
Mr. Omar: Come on. You know I'm good for it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew inherited one quality from my father: he was a tightwad, and he saved every penny he got, no matter how he got it.
[flashback: Drew wakes up in the middle of the night, removes a dollar bill from under the pillow and places it in his wallet. As he smiles, he reveals a missing front tooth.]

Julius: Nice to meet you, Larry.
Lance: Lance.
Julius: Okay.
Lance: It's great seeing you again, Rochelle. Next time you come down, I'll give you a few free loads. Also, here are some coupons for, uh, a new dry cleaners I'm opening. [Julius grabs the coupons]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father would take a coupon from bin Laden.
Julius: Thanks, Lurch.
Tonya: It's Larry.
Rochelle: It's Lance.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After tomorrow came and went, Drew came and went off.
Mr. Omar: Hey, Drew. My man.
Drew: Where's my money?
Mr. Omar: Oh... Man, I'm sorry, I totally forgot all about that.
Drew: It's okay. You can pay me now.
Mr. Omar: Okay. [sighs] You know what? I left my wallet at the office.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The office in your back pocket?
Mr. Omar: So... can I pay you tomorrow?
Drew: Yeah, but I'm gonna have to charge you interest.
Mr. Omar: Interest?
Drew: 15%.
Mr. Omar: 15%? That's outrageous.
Drew: On the streets it's 17. I'm doing you a favor. I'll be back.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Black Terminator.

Julius: Your mother's birthday is coming up.
Tonya: Yeah, in three months.
Julius: Right, and I want to throw a little party for her and I was thinking of inviting her friend Lance, but... I don't know...
Tonya: You want me to ask Mama if she likes Lance?
Julius: Yeah.
Tonya: Well, Daddy, I don't think I can do that. At least not for free.
Julius: Are you asking me for money?
Tonya: Are you asking me to spy on Mama?
Julius: It's not spying. I just want you to ask her a couple questions.
Tonya: Well, how come you can't ask her?
Julius: Because here's five dollars, that's how come.
Tonya: I'll take care of it.
Julius: Thank you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tonya made more money that year than my father.

Chris: I just don't know if I'm gonna do it right.
Greg: Lip-ups.
Chris: What?
Greg: Lip-ups. Richie Cunningham was afraid of the same thing on Happy Days and the Fonz told him to do lip-ups. You put your face on the floor and push up with your lips.
Chris: What? Are you crazy? I'm not kissing the floor.
[cut to Chris on the floor at home doing lip-ups:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] This is what happens when you watch shows about White people.
Drew: What are you doing?
Chris: Oh, I was just looking for a quarter I dropped.
Drew: Oh. Well, it looked like you were doing lip-ups. You know those don't work.

Tonya: What are you looking at?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] About five to ten when I drown you in that cereal bowl.