Drew Quotes Page 1 of 9    

Quote from Everybody Hates the English Teacher

Drew: 21.
Mr. Omar: You hit on 17?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What Mr. Omar didn't know was that when it came to numbers, Drew was like my father.
Drew: Wow, that's 562,002 granules of sugar.
Drew: Wow, that's 357,000 raindrops.
Drew: Wow, that's one cupcake.


Quote from Everybody Hates Greg

Rochelle: Well, who put this pot on the stove?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because of those two words, Drew never got in trouble.
Rochelle: Who tore up my back seat?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Julius: Who left my nickel laying out here on the sidewalk?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Rochelle: Who spilt this oatmeal?
Baby Drew: Wasn't me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Would you believe those were his first words?

Quote from Everybody Hates the Buddy System

Julius: I'm really proud of you for getting 100 on that test, so here you go.
Drew: Yeah! Wow.
Julius: Huh? What do you think?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew thought about saying this...
Drew: Gritsky? It's not Gritsky. It's Gretzky with an "E"! I scored 100 on my spelling test. I can't wear this! You got that big old head, and you can't even spell Gretzky. [scoffs] Maybe you should take my spelling classes. I ain't wearing this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But if he did, here's what would've happened...
[fantasy: Drew is carried out of the house on a stretcher:]
Detective: What's the story?
Police Officer: Apparently, the kid loves hockey. Father brings home a jersey that says Gritsky with an "I" instead of Gretzky with an "E." Son mouths off, dad loses it, shoves the jersey down the kid's throat.
Detective: Is that the jersey?
Police Officer: It's all we could find.
Detective: Good thing he didn't ask for skates.

Quote from Everybody Hates the Car

Chris: You smoke?
Drew: Ma, the surgeon general says you can't-
Rochelle: I know what he says. It's written on the side of the box.
Tonya: Then how come you still smoke?
Drew: Yeah. If there was a sign on the side of our dinner that says it will cause cancer and birth defects, you would slap the salad out of us if you found us eating it.

Quote from Everybody Hates Drew

Chris: Hey, you need any help with anything? I could tie your shoe.
Drew: Nah, I got it. I can tie it with one hand.
Chris: Okay, um I could write out your homework.
Drew: No, I'm fine. I never wrote with my left hand before, but it turns out, I'm really good at it.
Drew: Want to see something else I could do? [does push-ups] I always thought I needed two hands to do this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had to face facts. Drew could do more with one arm than I could do with five.
Drew: Want to sit on my back?

Quote from Everybody Hates the First Kiss

Drew: Where's my money?
Mr. Omar: You said you were coming back tomorrow.
Drew: It is tomorrow.
Mr. Omar: It's 4:00 in the morning, man.
Drew: I want my money.
Mr. Omar: Drew, I got to get up in the morning and go to work.
Drew: And I got to get up and go to school, but I can't concentrate because I don't have my money.
Mr. Omar: [sighs heavily] Okay, okay. Can you give me another day?
Drew: Fine. [stops Mr. Omar closing the door] But another day is going to cost you another dollar. And after tomorrow, that's it.
Mr. Omar: What's it?
Drew: Nothing. I'd just hate to see something bad happen.
Mr. Omar: What kind of something?
Drew: Something tragic. Have a nice night.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew went on to help found Death Row Records.

Quote from Everybody Hates the First Kiss

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was counting my blessings, Mr. Omar had to pay the piper.
Mr. Omar: I know it's hard to lose your husband. But remember, he's in a better place right now.
[When Mr. Omar opens the door to the limousine, he finds Drew sitting in the car]
Mr. Omar: Drew?!
Drew: Where's my money?
Mr. Omar: Man, we're on our way to a funeral.
Drew: You want to make it two? You're not going anywhere until I get my money.
Mr. Omar: [to the widow] You got five dollars I could borrow?
Drew: Seven.
Mr. Omar: Seven.
Widow: This is coming out of your bill.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Mr. Omar hated paying back money even if it wasn't his.
Drew: Thank you. And, uh, sorry about your husband.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At least one of them is.

Quote from Everybody Hates Gretzky

Old Man Willie: Hey, break it up! Break it up! What's wrong with you two guys?
Chris: He got us lost.
Drew: Nobody asked your stupid butt to come anyway!
Old Man Willie: Where are you heading to?
Drew: The Long Island Wilmont Hotel. I wanna meet Wayne Gretzky and get his autograph.
Old Man Willie: You mean "The Great One"? Number 99?
Drew: Yeah, you're a hockey fan?
Old Man Willie: Oh, I love it. We must be the only three Black hockey fans in New York.
Chris: Uh, I'm not a hockey fan.
Old Man Willie: Well, I guess it's just us then. And the few guys playing in the NHL.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What?
Chris: Wait, there are Black hockey players?
Old Man Willie: Oh, yeah. Willie O'Ree was the first. Played with the Boston Bruins. And now they've got Grant Fuhr. He plays with Gretzky. He's a goalie.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Which technically makes him a target.

Quote from Everybody Hates Gretzky

Drew: Do you know how to get to Long Island from here?
Old Man Willie: No, but I'll ask this gentleman here. Excuse me, sir? Would you happen to know the directions to Long Island?
Kevin Weekes: Yeah. You're gonna take that bus over there to the Seven Line.
Drew: Seven Line.
Kevin Weekes: And then you're gonna take that to Flushing...
Chris: Flushing, stupid!
Kevin Weekes: ...and you're gonna take the Long Island Railroad to Westbury.
Both: Westbury.
Drew: Thank you, sir.
Kevin Weekes: You're welcome.
Chris: By the way, I'm Drew and this is my brother, Chris.
Old Man Willie: Hi, I'm Willie O'Ree. Pleasure.
Drew: [gasps] Nice to meet you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When Willie scored three goals they didn't call it the hat trick. They call it the Black trick.

Quote from Everybody Hates Gretzky

Black Bodyguard: Gritzky?
Julius: Yeah. My dad bought it for me. Hockey's not too popular where we're from.
Black Bodyguard: [sighs] Where is that?
Chris: Here in New York. Bed-Stuy.
Black Bodyguard: Hey, I'm from Bed-Stuy. Let me guess. Did your dad get that jersey from Risky?
Drew: You know Risky?
Black Bodyguard: Yeah, he sold me a Darryl Raspberry jersey.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had Dr. K.
Black Bodyguard: [chuckles] I haven't see him in years.
Chris: So, you think my brother can get an autograph from Mr. Gretzky?
Black Bodyguard: Hey, sorry, kids. He's not even here. He has some business to take care of in the city.
Chris: Well, when do you think he'll be back?
Black Bodyguard: I don't know. A couple hours, I guess.
Chris: A couple hours? That's not too bad. Thanks.

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