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‘Everybody Hates Corleone’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Corleone

118. Everybody Hates Corleone

Aired April 13, 2006

Fed up of being bullied at Corleone, Chris tries to get kicked out of school. Meanwhile, Julius gets a great new job at the fish market, but the family don't care for the smell he brings home.

Quote from Julius

Julius: You can't just quit something 'cause you don't like it, Chris.
Chris: But Mom quits her job all the time.
Julius: But you're a man. And men don't quit. What if Jackie Robinson quit? What if George Washington Carver quit? What if Martin Luther King Jr. quit?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When my father had a point to make, he always started off strong, but he never ended that way.
[45 minutes later:]
Julius: What if Colonel Sanders quit? What if Apollo Creed quit? What if Katherine Jackson quit making kids?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ain't she a woman?!
Julius: They might be The Jackson Three. What if Kool from Kool and the Gang quit? You think they would have gotten a record contract if they were just called The Gang?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] To this day, I can't tell you what my father said but that smell stayed with me forever.

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Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Ooh! Oh, my God. Julius! What, are you selling the fish or sleeping with a mermaid?
Julius: What's wrong?
Rochelle: Oh, Drew, go open up the windows. Hurry up, Tonya, go get the fans. I'll bring y'all dinner up to y'all later.
Julius: Since when do they get to eat in their room?
Rochelle: Ooh. Since you turn people's stomachs. You smell like pierced ears and cheese. Are you going to come home smelling like this every day? [sprays] My God!
Julius: I don't know, but I if I do, y'all just going to have to get used to it. This job has too many perks.
Rochelle: Ooh. What am I going to do with that? No, you need to take your little friend upstairs and put him in the shower. 'Cause if he smells anything like you, I ain't cooking him, and I damn sure ain't eating him.
Julius: Baby.
Rochelle: Go! Just go! You smell like curried tube socks. [o.s.] Just go!

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Another school?! [Julius shrugs] If you bail Chris out every time he doesn't like something, that means he's gonna run to you every time he has a problem. Which means he'll never learn how to be a man. And if you can't teach him how to be a man, that means you're a bad father. And if you're a bad father, that means I picked the wrong husband. And if you think I'm about to let people run around here talking about I just marry anybody, you must be out your damn mind.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] From there, we tried performing arts school.
Chris: [sings] Fame! I'm gonna live forever I'm gonna learn how to fly
Performing Arts Teacher: Next!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We looked into Hebrew school.
Chris: [sings] Hava Nagila Hava Nagila Hava
Hebrew School Teacher: Next!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We even tried old school.
Chris: [sings] I said-a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie To the hip hip hop-a you don't stop the rock It to the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
Old School Teacher: Next!

Quote from Julius

Julius: What you want me to do?
Rochelle: Quit!
Julius: I can't just quit! What kind of example would that be for the kids, huh? Did Thurgood Marshall quit? Did Frederick Douglass quit? Did Booker T. Washington quit?
Rochelle: I don't know, and I don't care. All I know is, I want you to quit.

Quote from Chris

[As Greg leads the Pledge of Allegiance, Chris raises his gloved fist in a Black Power sign.]
Greg: I pledge allegiance to the flag...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] This has got to work, right?
Greg: ...and to the republic for which it stands.
[Chris notices that Miss Morello is also making the Black Power sign with her gloved fist]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Wrong!
Greg: One nation under God...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I couldn't believe that didn't work.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Well, me and your father discussed it, and if you really want to go to the neighborhood school, you can.
Chris: For real?
Rochelle: Yes, but you have to keep your grades up. A's and B's. And if you even think about getting in trouble, I will march down to that school and knock the no-good out of you.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] It had been a year since my mother sent me to Corleone Junior High for a better education.
[A boy bumps into Chris as he walks towards the school]
Chris: Jerk.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, I was getting a better education, all right. An education in misery. I was tired of my classes.
[Ms. Morello's class:]
Ms. Morello: Inga, binga, binga, bunga. Chris, what tribe are you from?
Chris: I don't know!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I still struggled to get sleep.
Chris: Night, Ma.
Rochelle: Night, baby. ... Chris, get your butt up! It's time to go to school.
Chris: Ugh.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And worst of all, everybody hated me. The kids hated me. [Chris is chased by a group of kids] The teachers hated me. [Chris is chased by a group of teachers] Even the lunch ladies hated me. [Chris is chased by a group of lunch ladies] The only good thing that happened to me at Corleone was meeting Greg.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The next day I set my plan to get kicked out of school into action.
[As Chris sprays paints "Chris was heir" on the wall]
Ms. Morello: Chris, it's "H-E-R-E." Study!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I never could spell.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, back at Corleone, like Kunta Kinte, I was waiting for my freedom papers.

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