Everybody Hates Chris Quotes

Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris is a fictional account of Chris Rock's teenage years in Brooklyn in the 1980s. The show follows Chris, his parents Julius and Rochelle, and siblings Drew and Tonya, as they move to Bedford-Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy) where Chris starts at a majority-White school.

Starring: Tyler James Williams, Terry Crews, Tichina Arnold, Tequan Richmond, Imani Hakim, Vincent Martella, Chris Rock.
Recurring Actors: Travis T. Flory, Jacqueline Mazarella, Kevontay Jackson, Ernest Thomas, Jeris Poindexter, Michel Estime, Antonio Fargas, Jackee Harry, Todd Bridges, J.B. Smoove, Earthquake, Tony Rock.
Original Run: 2005-2009.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Tonya in Everybody Hates the Ninth-Grade Dance

Ballet Teacher: Okay, ladies, that's good for today. And Tonya, great job. You'll make a wonderful ballerina.
Tonya: Thank you.
Rochelle: See, honey? I told you you would be great.
Tonya: Yeah, but you also threatened to slap the arch out of my foot if I wasted Daddy's money.
Rochelle: [chuckles] Don't say that too loud.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Sausage

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates the Pilot

Julius: I know you're not gonna threw that away. Eat that. That's 30 cents worth of oatmeal.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always knew what everything costs.
[montage:]
Julius: [retrieving a chicken wing from the trash] That's $1.09 in the trash.
Julius: [next to a tray of burnt biscuits] That's $2 on fire.
Julius: That's 49 cents of spilled milk dripping all over my table. Somebody's gonna drink this milk.

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Elections

Rochelle: I went to the beauty parlor and found out I lost $10. And Vanessa, my so-called friend, would only curl half my hair. Did you see my money laying around here somewhere?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Here's how that sounded to my father.
[fantasy:]
Rochelle: I went to the beauty parlor and discovered that I lost my $10. [garbled babbling] Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa.
[reality:]
Julius: You lost $10? That's $10 worth of dollars.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Snow Day

Gunman: Come on, the bag! Put it in the bag! Get to the back! Come on!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had lost her money, but there was only so much she could take.
Rochelle: Good day to rob a train, huh?
Gunman: Watch your mouth!
Rochelle: Why?! You done already took my money! What else you gonna take, my seat?
Gunman: I might shoot you!
Rochelle: And you might go to jail! You got six bullets and nine passengers, which leaves three witnesses, and 25 years to life!
Luther: Don't shoot her, shoot me.
Gunman: Don't tell me who to shoot!
Rochelle: What are you, trying to get shot?!
Gunman: Shut up! [the woman screams again] Will you be quiet?!
Rochelle: Sit down.

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates the Car

Adult Chris: [v.o.] By dinnertime, that pack of cigarettes was burning a hole in my pocket.
Chris: Hey, Ma, I found this pack of cigarettes in my drawer.
Julius: Cigarettes?
Chris: Yeah, I don't know whose they are, but they're not mine, and I don't want to get in trouble for it, so here you go.
Drew: Not mine.
Tonya: They're not mine.
Rochelle: Why is everybody looking at me?
Julius: Because you're smoking a carrot.
Rochelle: All right, all right, all right! They're mine!

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates the Pilot

Julius: Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. But I'm working hard trying to pay for this place, you know that.
Rochelle: Julius, just because you make money doesn't mean you know how to spend it. You gotta know how to work the system.
Julius: What system?
Rochelle: The debt system. I run this house like they run the country... on a deficit. Rent is due on the 3rd, I don't pay 'til the 9th because you don't get your check 'til the 7th. If you pay the light bill now, I won't have money for the groceries, the rent will be late and then you'll have to work overtime. You want to work overtime again, Julius? No, I don't think so. If we don't owe people money, we won't have any money at all.
Julius: Um... Why didn't you just say that then?
Rochelle: Because you didn't ask.