Dina: Hey, so, random I was going through some old security footage with Luanne.
Garrett: Yeah?
Dina: And you remember how we used to have those security cameras in the break room? Well, we came across the time you let all my birds escape.
Garrett: Uh... yeah. Um...
Dina: [chuckles] Remember that? Remember? It was Valentine's Day. Remember? I was blaming myself for it, and then when I was at my lowest, you had sex with me, knowing that, hours before, you were the one that let them out. And you knew the entire time. And yet, you said nothing. Remember that? [laughs] So funny.
Garrett: Dina, I'm so, so sorry.
Dina: Hey, come on. Don't even worry about it. I forgive you. When you think about it, this whole thing is just funny. Hey, come with me. I want to show you something.
[cut to Dina and Garrett at the loading dock in front of a burning pile of sneakers:]
Dina: They went up so fast, it's like they wanted to burn. [chuckles] What's that sound? Is that air escaping from the sneakers? [chuckles] It almost sounds like they're screaming. [chuckles] [whispers menacingly] I will never forgive you... ever.

Amy: Well, this sucks. Corporate's the one reducing hours. I'm just the one making the schedule.
Dina: Well, you can't really blame them for trying to cut costs in this world of online retail. Have you been to FashionThreads.com? They sell everything we do, but at half the price.
Woman: Really? [walks off]
Amy: Okay, we have to stop talking about online retail in the store.
Dina: Look, if people here are pissed at you, that's their problem. Just shrug it off.
Amy: Well, that's easy for you to say, Dina. You're not the one that they're going to be blaming for taking away their pay.
Dina: Hell, if you want, tell everyone I made the schedule. I don't care if people hate me. In some sexual situations, I prefer it.
Woman: [returns] Excuse me, what is that website again?
Dina: FashionThreads.com, but if you want, I can send you a link, and then we'll both get a code that gets us 10% off our next purchase.

Dina: Didn't you get my text? The implantation worked. I'm pregnant. [Glenn gasps] Or preggers, as my horrid niece would say, trying to make herself sound like she has a personality.
Glenn: That's the most beautiful, magical thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sandra: [sobs] I'm just so happy for you.
Glenn: Thank you.
Dina: No, I am sure I texted you. It was like a week ago. I see what happened. Texted the wrong Glen. "Sorry, pregnant with Glenn with two Ns. LOL." My mechanic.

Marcus: Man, I wish I had the stones to go both ways. Can you imagine? Two dudes... all gas, no brakes.
Jonah: Yeah, totally.

Jonah: Right, so anyway, I was just gonna say, I have a bunch of great ideas. Like, for instance, what if we gave walkie-talkies to all the zone captains so we don't have to hike all over the store?
Glenn: Oh, that's interesting.
Jonah: Right? Yeah, and to be honest, there are a lot of policies that could be updated or changed altogether.
Dina: Or we could not change any of the carefully thought out policies I've been honing for the past decade. Also, we only have eight walkies, and I need four backups.
Jonah: Right, but we could just buy more walkies.
Dina: [scoffs] Oh, the DX49Ls? They discontinued them seven years ago.
Glenn: Yeah.
Dina: Good luck, buddy. [laughing] This guy. "Can we just order more DX49Ls?" It's like, "Good luck, buddy" "They were discontinued seven years ago."

Dina: [sighs] God, the heat really brings out your age, doesn't it?
Amy: Dina, I am trying to keep a positive attitude today, so help me out, okay?
Dina: Yeah, sure. Sorry. [silence] So did you eat a lot of French onion soup last night, or is that just the natural scent your body secretes? You just have a very unique musk. It's thick. It's, like, swampy.
Amy: Okay.
Dina: It's like a swampy musk.
Amy: I'm walking away. Bye.
Dina: It's not bad. What? No offense.