Previous Episode Next Episode 
Mall Closing

‘Mall Closing’

Season 5, Episode 4 -  Aired October 17, 2019

Amy is excited by all the new footfall after the local mall shut down, until she realizes the new patrons aren't there to shop. Meanwhile, Jonah tries to give Mateo money, and Cheyenne realizes she's no longer as young and cool as she once was.

Quote from Dina

Dina: Sandra, get those kids off the massage chairs.
Sandra: Those girls? They look like they're from Euphoria.
Dina: Well, they don't have to go back there. They just have to get off the chairs.
Amy: Euphoria's a show.
Dina: Whatever, there's a bunch of teens in the café. We can start there.

Rate

Quote from Dina

Dina: Well, I hope your kid stops hating you before the store's destroyed.
Amy: Okay, she doesn't hate me, and it's really not that bad. And... Oh, I hadn't seen what they'd done to the robot.
Dina: Always penises. Just once I'd like to see them draw a vagina. Never mind. There they are on the back. That's something.

Quote from Mateo

Jonah: How's the job search going?
Mateo: Well, I need something that's cash only and under the table, and I'm not willing to clean anyone's garage in my underwear, so my options are limited.

Quote from Carol

Cheyenne: Have we thought about using the teachings of the Sacred Wheel to show them the interconnectedness of all life?
Amy: Yes, Carol, we did try that. I think you were in the bathroom.
Carol: Oh.

Quote from Cheyenne

Amy: The West Concord Mall... is closing.
Cheyenne: The mall's gone?
Jonah: Really?
Cheyenne: That's crazy. I lost my virginity there and a lipstick I really liked.

Quote from Amy

Justine: Wait, so you're telling me I have to go all the way to the airport to get Sbarro's?
Amy: I got my ears pierced at the Claire's there, and then that's where Emma got her ears pierced. Can't wait to tell her that story so she can say, "Cool story, Mom," without looking up from her cell phone.

Quote from Glenn

Amy: Glenn, are you okay?
Glenn: We did it, Dina.
Dina: We [bleep] did it.
Glenn: I've been fighting that mall for 40 years. It undercut my dad's hardware store. It darn near took this place under. It took my youth. It took my body.
Jonah: In what sense?
Amy: I think the point is that from a business perspective, this is really good news for us.
Garrett: Oh, yeah, the death of retail... that's great news for our store.

Quote from Carol

Carol: Sorry I'm late.
Amy: Carol. Hey, welcome back. New look.
Carol: New outlook. [strokes Garrett's face] Sedona changed everything for me. Or maybe I should say it allowed me to access the change that was already there.
Dina: I think we should drug-test her.

Quote from Glenn

Amy: So I realized the best way to attract a mall crowd is to mall this place up. I had them spray a bunch of knockoff perfume everywhere. I put some massage chairs over on the breezeway. We're giving away free ear piercings, and I had them bring in the water fountain from the Garden Center.
Glenn: The mall had all this stuff in one place?
Amy: Yeah, I mean, I'm working with what we have. It's not like I can put a movie theater in here.
Glenn: The mall had movies, too? [scoffs] It sounds terrible. I'm glad it's gone.

Quote from Amy

Amy: And you know how mall walkers love their free food. Well, I bumped up our sample stations. Guess how many.
Dina: You want me to guess how many free sample stations you arranged?
Amy: Okay, never mind. It was dumb. I'm embarrassed.
Dina: I mean, I guess I got to say three.
Amy: Four.
Dina: Four?
Glenn: Is that a record?
Amy: I mean, corporate thought so.
Dina: It's badass you got them to okay that.
Amy: It's pretty cool, right?
Glenn: Amy, it is so cool.

Page 2