Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired April 12, 2018
With the biggest jackpot in over twenty years, the Cloud 9 store is gripped by lotto mania. Meanwhile, Jonah encourages Amy to ask for a raise.
Quote from Marcus
Glenn: What else can we do to have luxury on a budget?
Marcus: Sometimes, I pee in the shower. It helps save toilet water. It's not why I do it, but it's a plus. I do it to wash my feet. Urine is sterile.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] Attention shoppers, come buy your lottery ticket at customer service right now. There are some people who say the lottery is basically a tax on lower income, less educated people. But you know who doesn't say that? People who win the lottery. [chuckles] There you go, got to be in it to win it, girl.
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: 3, 22.
Cheyenne: Oh, those are good. I picked random ones like 14 and 34.
Mateo: Those are like, the random ones that no one picks, so that's kind of a good plan.
Cheyenne: Okay. Hey, if you won, do you think we'd still be friends?
Mateo: Chey, of course. You'd be my friend from my poor life who keeps me grounded. But, then again, I don't know if I want to keep a poor person around, just bumming everyone out. Ugh. We could buy our tickets together and whoever wins, we split it.
Cheyenne: Cool, let's do it. Oh, my God, what if I pick something super out there, like 41 or 50?
Mateo: Oh, my God, yes. You have to.
Quote from Sandra
Dina: Well, that's annoying.
Sandra: I know, right?
Dina: Why are you agreeing with me? You don't even know what I'm talking about.
Dina: Check out this text from Colleen at the Bel-Ridge store. "Biggest jackpot ever. Wonder who's gonna sell the most tickets." She's so competitive, with her smug cancer survivor smirk.
Sandra: She sounds like a real piece of work.
Dina: You don't even know her. Why are some women so quick to judge other women?
Sandra: I don't know.
Dina: I need to find a way to sell more tickets than her. Beat her at her own game.
Dina: Don't say "uh-huh." You don't even know the rest of it.
Sandra: I don't know why I do it.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: My friend, Corona, just keeps her webcams on all day in her bedroom and her bathroom. She makes thousands of dollars.
Dina: You could be on the lookout for loose coins. Vending machines, couch cushions, the ground near parking meters, fountains. ABG. Always Be Gathering.
Amy: Or, what if this company just gave us a little bit more money so we wouldn't have to scrounge for money like street urchins?
Cheyenne: This one guy paid Corona $10,000 to fart on a cake. She went to Cabo.
Quote from Jonah
Amy: Just keep your eyes peeled. Tell me if you see her.
Jonah: Well, I mean, that's going to be tough. At these speeds, everything is just a blur.
Amy: Shut up. I'm not used to these things. Not everyone grew up going to country clubs.
Jonah: I feel like you just think of me as this like, spoiled rich kid who spent all of his time playing tennis and golf.
Amy: All right, well, what did you grow up playing?
Jonah: Mostly tennis and some golf.
Jonah: And I was a pretty decent skier.
Quote from Myrtle
Glenn: Myrtle, what are you doing here?
Myrtle: Playing the numbers.
Glenn: How you been?
Myrtle: Oh, I've been doing just fine. I got a job collecting cans and bottles from the trash.
Myrtle: It's not bad. There's some competition, but I just have to get there at 3:00 a.m.
Glenn: Yeah, wow. Hey, you know what? Um... why don't you give me these and I'll give you the cash? Okay? Uh... $30 sounds about right for all of this.
Myrtle: That's even more than I thought.
Glenn: I hope you win.
Myrtle: Me too. The nights at the motel are starting to add up.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: If I won, you would not see me here tomorrow. That is for sure. I would be taking Thursdays off from now on.
Quote from Marcus
Amy: I don't see any expense for food. I mean, personally, I... I like food. Anybody else a food person? [all agree]
Glenn: Wow, almost all of you. Well, there's $100 under "other." That's probably for food.
Mateo: So we're supposed to live on under $4 a day for food?
Glenn: Just don't go eating lobster.
Marcus: Or just get one lobster and just eat it a little bit at a time over the course of several weeks. That's what I do.
Cheyenne: There's no line for child care, or going to the doctor.
Amy: Probably because they're just planning on us not getting sick, right?
Marcus: I eat two-week-old unrefrigerated lobster. I'm going to get sick.