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Quote from Sandra in Lowell Anderson

Sandra: I can help you figure out if she's with someone. I've been monitoring her social media for months. I print out the good ones, and I put them up on a board.
Jonah: Look, it's fine. Thank you. I... It was just bugging me, you know? Like when you get a tune stuck in your head, and you can't remember what the song is. It's no big deal. Um, have you been monitoring all of our social media?
Sandra: Yep, I even know about everyone's fake accounts.
Jonah: Huh. People have fake accounts? That's weird.
Sandra: Is it, Scott McPhee? Who only follows organic farms and influencer underwear ladies.

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Quote from Jonah in Health Fund

Amy: Okay, so in the first four hours, you've managed to commit us to $37,000.
Jonah: The claims just kept coming, and, you know, it's like that opening in Star Wars where the words zoom past you. And at first it's cool, but eventually you just can't keep up.
Amy: Wait, Sandra alone has asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, fibromyalgia, leaky gut syndrome... This just keeps going.
Jonah: We just got to keep signing people up. That's all, okay? If we get everybody in the backroom to sign up then that will pay for these people. And then we can go to other branches and then that will pay for the backroom...
Amy: [gasps] This is a pyramid scheme.

Quote from Jonah in Election Day

Jonah: Not to put my head in the lion's mouth, but now I'm thinking Times New Roman.
Amy: [sighs] Times New Roman would be a fine font, Jonah, and so would Helvetica and Garamond, and really any font would be just fine.
Jonah: Not Wingdings.
Amy: No one was suggesting Wingdings.

Quote from Dina in Back to Work

Jonah: Look, all I'm saying is with a little effort it's not that hard to get people to like you.
Dina: I really don't care if people like me.
Jonah: Okay, but... don't you find it hard being a boss to people... that resent you? [employees snicker]
Dina: You do raise a good point.
Jonah: Yeah.
Dina: I watch a lot of Dog Whisperer DVDs and it's always easier to train a bitch who enjoys your scent.
Jonah: That's exactly what I meant.

Quote from Mateo in Magazine Profile

Mateo: Why would anybody be attracted to Jonah? He looks like a villain on the CW.