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Valentine's Day

‘Valentine's Day’

Season 2, Episode 14 - Aired February 9, 2017

On Valentine's Day, Amy and Glenn try to set Myrtle up with Arthur (Bernie Kopell). Meanwhile, Sandra's fictitious relationship with Jeff is starting to make Mateo jealous.

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: [over PA] Attention shoppers. It's Valentine's Day, and love is in the air, along with dust, pet dander, and toxic mold spores, so pick up a Supercloud air purifier and convince yourself it's making a difference, which it's not, 'cause it's just a fan.

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Quote from Myrtle

Amy: Hi, Myrtle. Look, I just... I want to say I'm sorry. I was totally out of line.
Myrtle: He was saying such filth, how much he liked my sweater.
Amy: Oh, well, is that really that bad?
Myrtle: He meant he liked what's under my sweater.
Amy: Okay, maybe, but maybe... I don't know... it is possible that you misunderstood what he said or...
Myrtle: Oh, blame the victim. She's blaming the victim!

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Oh, I see. It's wrong when I try to do matchmaking, but you get to whip out the fangs, huh?
Amy: What fangs?
Glenn: Cupid's fangs.
Amy: Glenn, again, an arrow.

Quote from Cheyenne

Jeff: No one is saying you can't ever date somebody you work with. Just be careful not to make unwanted advances.
Cheyenne: So you can't ask someone out unless you know they like you? But then you don't know if someone likes you unless you ask them out, so that's, like, a Catch-22.
Jonah: Whoa, well done.
Cheyenne: Oh, I've been studying for the SATs. It's been a very extrapolatory experience.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: You guys, look what Jeff just sent me. "My precious treasure, words cannot express my love for you. And I love seeing you naked, because it's really good. Love, Mr. Man."
Cheyenne: Wow, Jeff sent you those.
Sandra: Mm-hmm.
Garrett: That's, like, a hundred-dollar bouquet.
Sandra: Yeah, or, like, 140.
Mateo: Seems so weird he'd send you a gift at work when your relationship is supposed to be secret.
Sandra: I guess he really loves me, huh?
Mateo: Yeah.
Sandra: Hey, Heather. Look what Jeff just sent me.

Quote from Cheyenne

Cheyenne: And Bo's parents are out of town, so everyone's just gonna get waa-sted. [both laugh] What about you? Any hot Valentine's Day plans?
Myrtle: No, probably sit in the park, feed the ducks.
Cheyenne: Ohh, that's so old person. You can come if you want, but it's bring your own nitrous.

Quote from Myrtle

Amy: Hey, Myrtle, do you date anymore?
Myrtle: No, but if you know someone nice, set me up. He doesn't even have to be white.

Quote from Dina

Dina: Okay, what we need is a database. Everybody write down all the employees you're attracted to. Totally confidential. I will compile a spreadsheet of any matches and post it above the microwave.

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: Found her on IMDB. She was on NCIS. She played "Lady in Pool." Acting life is tough.

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Tell me, do you think that Brett and Brittany would be good together? I mean, it feels like there's chemistry there, but it might just be the alliteration.
Amy: What, like, together-together?
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
Amy: Why? 'Cause I hired Miles and Lisa, and now they're in love.
Glenn: You know, so I thought maybe there's some other sad singles who'd like to get bitten by Cupid.
Amy: An arrow. I think Cupid has an arrow.
Glenn: And he bites.

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