Garrett: [over PA] Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers, today is Cloud 9's Wellness Fair, where we're offering vision tests, blood pressure screenings, and tips on living your best, healthiest life. Why go to a doctor when you can get medical advice from the same place you get dish soap?

Cheyenne: I love medicine. I watch all those shows. "I need 10ccs, stat." "Prep the incubation tray." "I can't have sex with you. [whimpers] I'm an intern."
Garrett: Yeah, that all sounds pretty medically accurate.

Amy: Seriously? This is your reaction? Jeff is cheating on Sandra with Mateo. What do I do? Do I... do I... do I talk to her? Do I confront him?
Garrett: Okay, here's what you do. Nothing.
Amy: What? Come on.
Garrett: Look, you don't know the situation. This is like Jurassic Park. You start messing around with something you don't know anything about, and before you know it, you're getting bit in half while you're sitting on the toilet.
Cheyenne: It's true, Amy. That's what happens.

Cheyenne: Do you wanna hear my lawyer?
Garrett: Mm-mm.
Cheyenne: "Objection, your honor, he's harassing the witness!" "Oh, that's not a judge, that's a bomb."

Amy: Okay, I can fix this. I just need to gather everybody who knows, and then tell them.
Garrett: Why aren't you listening to me? Just do nothing. It is the easiest advice to take. I do it, and I am thriving.
Cheyenne: Man, that is true. He's killing it.
Garrett: Killing it.

Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers, Cloud 9 is not offering breast exams as part of our Wellness Fair. We have not hired someone to do that, and if we had, it would not be a teenage boy in a Twenty One Pilots T-shirt. Shop safe.

Marcus: Man, I wish I had the stones to go both ways. Can you imagine? Two dudes... all gas, no brakes.
Jonah: Yeah, totally.

Amy: Look, I should not have gotten involved. Sandra, I'm really sorry.
Sandra: No, I feel great. No more lies. No more credit card debt from buying myself flowers. I can cancel the horse-drawn carriage.

Glenn: It must be so rewarding to be a nurse. Well, except when patients die. That must be a real kick in the shins, huh?
Nurse Ella: Uh-huh.
Glenn: How many people have you seen die? I've seen, like, seven, but I'm not sure it counts, 'cause it was all at once.

Jonah: Hey, uh, did you see that documentary Fed Up?
Nurse Ella: Oh, with Katie Couric?
Jonah: Yeah.
Nurse Ella: Loved it. Did you see Fork over Knife?
Jonah: Oh, my God. I... I was devastated by it.
Glenn: Did you guys see BABE 2: Pig in the City? I seem to have wound up with two copies at my house.