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Scanners

‘Scanners’

Season 4, Episode 19 -  Aired May 9, 2019

Amy delegates a difficult decision to Dina after Corporate forces her to cut everyone's hours. Jonah and the other employees play an elaborate game of laser tag with the new handheld scanners. Meanwhile, Mateo makes a surprising discovery about Marcus.

Quote from Dina

Dina: Listen, technology has been taking jobs for years. Think about what happened with bank tellers and ATM machines.
Jonah: It's just ATMs.
Dina: Exactly. It's only ATM machines now.
Jonah: No, you don't need the "machines."
Dina: Nobody needs the machines, but it makes our lives easier.

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Quote from Myrtle

Myrtle: This is just the beginning. What kind of job will be left for me 30 years from now? [overlapping chatter]
Garrett: Powerlifter? Zumba instructor?

Quote from Dina

Amy: Well, this sucks. Corporate's the one reducing hours. I'm just the one making the schedule.
Dina: Well, you can't really blame them for trying to cut costs in this world of online retail. Have you been to FashionThreads.com? They sell everything we do, but at half the price.
Woman: Really? [walks off]
Amy: Okay, we have to stop talking about online retail in the store.
Dina: Look, if people here are pissed at you, that's their problem. Just shrug it off.
Amy: Well, that's easy for you to say, Dina. You're not the one that they're going to be blaming for taking away their pay.
Dina: Hell, if you want, tell everyone I made the schedule. I don't care if people hate me. In some sexual situations, I prefer it.
Woman: [returns] Excuse me, what is that website again?
Dina: FashionThreads.com, but if you want, I can send you a link, and then we'll both get a code that gets us 10% off our next purchase.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: Hey Amy? I saw I only have 30 hours next week.
Amy: Yeah. Um, look, Sandra, everyone's hours have been cut.
Sandra: It's just a bad time for me. An identity thief stole my identity from the guy who stole it first, and the charges are racking up.
Amy: Oh, wow.
Sandra: And then, remember that Brazilian model who emailed me about opening a joint bank account? Well, that also went sideways.
Amy: Look, Sandra, um, I would help you if I could, but, um Dina made the schedule. Hey, Dina, um, do you think maybe you could throw Sandra some hours? It seems like maybe you cut too many. [winks]
Dina: Oh, yeah. No, sorry. The schedule I made is the schedule I made.
Amy: Come on, really? I mean, she's going through a lot right now.
Sandra: Yeah, I mean, my credit is only 60 and my Brazilian credit is two.

Quote from Marcus

Mateo: You don't know my life, and it's not that cushy.
Marcus: Dude, I'm homeless!
Mateo: Dude, I'm undocumented.
Marcus: Seriously?
Mateo: Yeah, so suck it.
Marcus: Oh. Hey, thanks for telling me. We have each other's secrets now. Let's make a pact. I won't say anything about your thing unless my thing comes out, and vice versa.
Mateo: Um, you can't say anything about my thing.
Marcus: And I totally won't, unless my thing gets out. Ride together, die together. [crunching]
Mateo: Oh, God.

Quote from Myrtle

Myrtle: It's just that if I lose my hours, I can't afford my arthritis medication, and without my arthritis medication, I can't open the bottle for my heart medication, and then it just spirals after that and then I die.
Dina: You know what? I'm- I'm gonna see what I can do, all right?

Quote from Dina

Dina: You know what's weird to think about? That the default Newton was fig. I mean, why would you start there?
Amy: Yeah, I guess that is random. You'd think they start with something more basic, like strawberry.
Dina: Exactly, and then after many years, and trying many different fruits, maybe you take a chance on fig.
Amy: But, it's not a cookie, it's a straw-Newton? That doesn't have the same ring.
Dina: I guess. [sighs] Well, I guess at some point, we should discuss the new schedule and figure out where those hours are going to come from.
Amy: [groans] Yeah. Hey, what are you watching these days?
Dina: Mostly knife trick tutorials on YouTube. I can do a double rollout with a five-inch butterfly.
Amy: Grownups watch YouTube?
Dina: That's all I watch. What else do I need? It has everything you ever want to see in one place.

Quote from Sandra

Jonah: Uh, if you picked "soup," you are with me. If you picked "yogurt," you are with Garrett.
Sandra: I got peach yogurt, can I switch? 'Cause peaches make the inside of my mouth itch.
Jonah: Okay, to be clear, nobody is eating the product. This is just a way-
Glenn: Don't eat the products!
Jonah: For us to divide up into teams.

Quote from Myrtle

Cheyenne: Um, mine says "plain." Which team am I on?
Garrett: That's yogurt because there's no such thing as plain soup.
Myrtle: There was during the Depression.
Garrett: Good point.

Quote from Janet

Marcus: Unbelievable.
Janet: She cut my hours, too. So much for Jackson's STEM program.
Marcus: What's a STEM program?
Janet: I don't know. Would everyone please stop asking me that?

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