Dina: All the best wars are fought against someone.
Amy: That feels random.
Jonah: All wars are fought against someone.
Dina: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Jonah: No, I'm saying "all" wars.
Dina: Yeah, all the best wars.
Jonah: What are the best wars?
Dina: 1812, WWI, WWII, French Indy.
Amy: Although, if they started trash talking us first...
Jonah: Okay, what wars are you not fighting against someone?
Dina: War against poverty, war against drugs. Boom. Don't come at me.

Jonah: You know what? I'm with Dina. We're underdogs but a lot of the times it's the underdogs that end up winning.
Amy: That's not true. They just make movies about the few underdogs that do. Like, for every Rudy there are 10,000 short guys who just never make the team.

Jonah: I've actually been meaning to get a pedometer for my morning runs.
Amy: Wait, you mean when you walk down the street to get an everything bagel?
Jonah: It's at least a quarter mile.

Dina: Ugh. We are in dead last and Bel-Ridge is in first. That's Colleen's branch. Oh, she probably thinks she's so great, walking around on her legs, left foot, right foot. We get it, Colleen.
Jonah: What's up with you and Colleen?
Dina: What's up with you and Colleen?
Jonah: Okay.

Dina: Oh, look at this. Colleen1420: Loving this steps comp! Go Bel-Ridge! Oh, God. Message received, you smug skank.
Jonah: She's a real monster, huh?
Dina: Yeah. If I had to choose between Colleen and Sandra... Well, I mean, I'd kill them both. [chuckles]

Dina: Come on, you have to take this competition seriously.
Garrett: I don't think I do.
Dina: God, you're lazy. Why can't you be one of those inspirational guys in a wheelchair?
Garrett: Hm. All right. [backs away]
Dina: What are you doing?
Garrett: Nothing.
Dina: Are you trying to- I mean, you're not suggesting that going backwards would take away steps.
Garrett: Of course not. Why would it?
Dina: Seriously, stop. I know it's not happening it's just that it's a- It's a safety issue at this point.
Garrett: Huh. I swear that number was bigger before.
Dina: Fine. I'll just double my steps to make up for it. Move!

Amy: We only got a 148 steps in the last hour? How is that even possible?
Jonah: It's shockingly sedentary.
Dina: Oh, there she goes again. Colleen1420. "Everybody's doing great! Cloud 9 pride!" Oh, she is the devil.
Jonah: It's a shame this store doesn't have a Colleen.
Dina: I will burn my face off if she takes my job.

Glenn: Come on, don't take it personally. It's just old-fashioned sports banter like, "See you at the finish line, slow-poke!" [blows raspberry] You know?
Garrett: "And their pear shaped manager is a real looser."
Amy: That's probably supposed to say "loser." They were most likely in a hurry.
Dina: Maybe they should take their time.
Glenn: Well that is both personal and hurtful.

Jonah: Ugh, I can't believe these guys are going to beat us at the step contest. It just proves their point about how slow we are.
Amy & Dina: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: You know what we should do? We should all start trying harder and beat them.
Dina: Oh, shut up, Sandra.
Amy: No, no, no. Don't shut up, Sandra. That's a really good point.
Dina: Yes, no, sorry. Yeah, good point, Sandra.

Jonah: I can't believe how well this is working.
Amy: I know. I don't want to jinx it but I'm already thinking up anecdotes to throw in at lunch with the VP.
Jonah: Are you going to tell him about the time Lionel Richie came in the store?
Amy: How does that make me look good?
Jonah: I don't know. It's just a cool story.