Mateo: [phone buzzes] [scoffs] Jeff again. It's, like, the fifth time in a row.
Cheyenne: I honestly feel like calling someone is one of the worst things you can do to them.
Mateo: I know, right?

Sayid: Here I have my refugee identity certificate, my social security card, driver's license, electric bills proving my residence.
Officer: That's fine. That's fine.
Sayid: And here are pictures of me at the block party in my mostly white neighborhood. As you can see, everybody's smiling. The community is embracing me.

Garrett: Not sure who I feel about this new MC Cool Cloud.
Dina: Yeah, there's something profoundly disturbing about seeing a two-dimensional cartoon character in three dimensions.
Glenn: Like with The Peanuts Movie. I had no idea that Charlie Brown was a bald child with a deformed head.
Dina: It's like a bruised apple.
Glenn: I know.

Dina: I don't understand the obsession with procreation. The whole planet's got, like, maybe ten years left. Just enjoy it.

Glenn: Guys, let's not forget that Jesus was an immigrant from heaven.
Dina: Oh, boy.
Glenn: Yeah. And he had to go home too, and it was not a fun trip. Plus, it could not have been easy being a white guy in the Middle East.

Kelly: Did you know that the capital of Panama is Panama? I can rap the entire Central American countries. I did it once for a talent competition. ♫ Mexcio D.F., Mexico ♫ Guatemala, Guatemala ♫ Tegucigalpa, Honduras ♫ San Salvador, El Salvador ♫ San Jose, Costa Rica ♫ Panama, Panama ♫

Sandra: Thank you for coming.
Jerry: Of course. I'm always gonna be here for you.
Sandra: You're the best.
Jerry: You're the best.
Sandra: No, you're the best.
Carol: [to officer] I hate to say this because they're close friends of mine, but they're both human traffickers. If you check her locker, there's evidence.

Jonah: It's weird how Employee Appreciation Day always seems to fall right around when people are filling out their union cards.
Amy: Mm. Anyway, we're gonna have little special surprises all day long. We've got ice cream.
All: Ooh.
Amy: We've got a masseuse.
All: Ooh.
Amy: And we've got Cloud 9 Frisbees for the kids.
Jonah: And for those of you who wanna join the union, we've got collective bargaining rights, higher wages, and job security.

Justine: Sorry, for the massages, should we be in, like, a towel or just totally buck naked?
Amy: Neither, fully clothed.
Marcus: Clothed for the ice cream too?
Amy: Yes, everybody keep their clothes on. It's ridiculous how often I have to say that.

Garrett: [over PA] Attention shoppers, today is Employee Appreciation Day, and all of our associates are getting free ice cream. So if you're wondering why everything's sticky, that's one of the reasons.