Season 2, Episode 21 - Aired April 27, 2017
On Cheyenne's wedding day, Glenn is feeling the weight of the impending job cuts, while Jonah is keen to dismiss the notion that Amy is his "work wife".
Quote from Cheyenne
Jonah: What am I supposed to wear to your wedding? The invitation just says, "Not basic."
Cheyenne: You know, not basic. I don't know how to explain it more than that.
Amy: Yeah, like, Adam's wearing a gray suit.
Cheyenne: Mm, I mean, that's, like, semi-basic, but you guys are old. No one's looking at you anyways.
Quote from Myrtle
Myrtle: What is he wearing? He looks like a woman.
Garrett: Bo? Bo is a woman.
Myrtle: Oh? Lesbians.
Myrtle: The whole world's going gay.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: What is his game? He just shows up out of nowhere, flashing those legs, carrying a baby around. I get it... you're father material. I mean, I hate kids, but I love dads.
Quote from Amy
Amy: [over PA] Uh, hi. I just wanted to say congratulations to Cheyenne and Bo. Um... uh, I... I love you, Cheyenne. You remind me of me. I-I also met my husband in high school, and we did the whole "baby first" thing, and then got married because we had to. I mean, not... Wah! I didn't mean we had to. I meant... I meant we got pregnant so we got married... but, um, marriage is amazing! I mean, is it hard work? Yes. Duh. Like, that's the cliché, right? "Ah, it's so hard," because it is. You know, one second everything's great, and then you step on some invisible land mine, and you're fighting. Boom! Ka-boom! Uh... 'Cause it's hard. It's just... It's hard. But... it is the hard that makes it good. That... that wasn't me. That was from A League of Their Own. Why did Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell stop being friends? I feel like something happened there, right? Maybe we should talk about that.
Garrett: [over PA] The desert table is now open for anybody who would like to stop talking.
Amy: But, okay, what I'm trying to say is that no matter how tough it gets, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be... so...
fine. You know?
Dina: Just give me the... Give it... But I... Give it to me. [takes microphone] You heard it here first, folks. Marriage is fine. Yikes. Oh! Oh, you like the joke about Amy's marriage? 'Cause I got a ton of those. Amy's marriage is so bad...
All: How bad is it?
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Sometimes the headline will say, "What happens next is unbelievable," but then it's, like, kind of underwhelming.
Jerry: I know. It's almost like they're trying to trick me into clicking.
Quote from Jeff
Jeff: [whispers] Shh. This baby's asleep.
Mateo: Have you been at the wedding this entire time?
Jeff: Yes. You saw me when I came in, and then I think we made eye contact when we were both in line for the bathroom a while ago.
Mateo: I don't think so. I... Anyway, um, it's good to see you.
Jeff: Not you. I hate you.
Jeff: Yeah! You dumped me out of nowhere, so of course I hate you. It just sounds funny because I'm whispering. Because I don't want to wake the baby up because... [Harmonica cries] And thank you. Now she's awake. You just can't stop hurting me. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna trade you. You take her. She doesn't like to bounced, okay? [whispers] I hate you. Not you. I love you.
Quote from Dina
Amy: How are you feeling? Are you nervous?
Cheyenne: No, just excited.
Dina: Listen, I filled my purse with muscle relaxants and anti-flatulent meds. Oh, and if you're gonna puke, you can use the purse.
Cheyenne: Okay, thanks.
Dina: Told you I'd be a good bridesmaid.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I don't want people spending money they might not have tomorrow. [quietly] Corporate is making me lay off six people.
Garrett: Whoa. There's gonna be layoffs?
Glenn: Shh! I don't want anyone to know.
Garrett: Okay, well, they're gonna find out when the paychecks stop coming.
Glenn: I'll tell them tomorrow.
Glenn: Cheyenne's wedding should be a day of joy... that people look back on and say, "I was happy that day. That was the last day I was happy."
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: These people aren't cogs you can just throw away. They're a family. They talk. They stand around. I guess that's all they're doing right now.
Quote from Dina
Cheyenne: Dina, this is for you.
Dina: What's this?
Cheyenne: It's my bridesmaid gift, just to say thank you.
Dina: Oh. You're welcome. You know what? Actually, I don't feel comfortable taking cheap jewelry into my house. One of the birds is gonna get into it, then it's another midnight run to the urgent care. So I think you should return it and just give me the cash. Thanks, girl.