Next Episode 
Pilot

‘Pilot’

Season 1, Episode 1 -  Aired November 30, 2015

New employee Jonah doesn't make the best first impression with floor manager Amy. Meanwhile, Mateo joins the crew as well, and Bo has a question for Cheyenne.

Quote from Dina

Dina: All right, campers, listen up. I've got an important announcement. This is your garden variety generic decongestant. And this is crystal meth, okay? The tweakers use this to make this. So stop selling them this, so they can't make this.
Cheyenne: That guy told me he had a really bad cold.
Dina: He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne. That should have been a red flag, okay? Use your noggin.
Glenn: Let's thank Dina for that helpful tip of the day. Thank you, Dina.
Garrett: Am I the only one that thinks it's weird that she walking around with a bag of crystal meth?

Rate

Quote from Dina

Dina: Just checking over your new hire forms. American citizen. Nice. [chuckles] No dependents. Me neither, unless you count my birds. [both laugh] It just doesn't say anywhere on here if you've got a girlfriend.
Jonah: I didn't... is there a space for that?
Dina: There's this section here: "Is there anything else we should know?" Some people like to volunteer it.
Jonah: Oh. Um... then also no.
Dina: No.
Jonah: No.
Dina: Okay, well, I will just jot that down, then. But you are heterosexual, right?
Jonah: Is... are you allowed to ask that?
Dina: No. Smart.

Quote from Amy

Jonah: Hey, listen. I... I think there might have been a misunderstanding. I'm not an elitist, so...
Amy: Oh, elitist? What is that?
Jonah: Like, a person who thinks their better than... You know what elitist means.
Amy: Oh, yeah. They learnt that to us in public school.

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Now, I used to end these meetings with some wisdom from the Good Book. But then someone reported me to corporate.
Dina: Heck yeah, I did. Look, I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, my bible is the employee code of conduct.
Glenn: We all thank you for it.
Dina: Yeah, you're welcome.
Glenn: I pray for you, Dina.
Dina: I pray for you, too, Glenn.
Glenn: No, I'm praying right now.
Dina: I'm praying so hard.
Glenn: I'm praying harder than you. I know how.

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers. Due to an employee error, very expensive electronics are pricing out at 25c. This mistake is being corrected, so... stock up quick!

Quote from Amy

Jonah: Are those the flowers that I picked up off the floor of the garden center?
Amy: Yes.
Jonah: They're beautiful trash flowers.
Amy: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I have been having a long day. Ten years of long days, actually. You know, I stock these glow stars every single year for the back-to-school sale. And then I take them down, and I put up the Halloween inventory, and then Thanksgiving and Christmas and Valentine's Day and Easter and Fourth of July, and then back-to-school again.
Jonah: Hmm. That sounds incredibly not fun. I see why you love it here.
Amy: It's a good job. But tomorrow is gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday. So... sometimes... it's just kind of hard to find those moments of beauty.

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers. Even a big box store has to close, and it's about that time. You know, when Pandora closed her famous box, there was only one thing left inside: hope. I wonder what will be left inside of this box. Could it be grace? I hope not. If you're Grace's parents, please pick her up at customer service.

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: To Cheyenne.
All: Cheers!
Garrett: May your marriage be as sweet and colorful as this Cloud 9 brand caffeinated malt beverage, without the recall for killing college students.

Quote from Mateo

Jonah: Hey. I think I got it down.
Mateo: No offense, but you're my competition, so I'm kind of actually rooting for you to fail. Okay, thanks. Bye.

Quote from Glenn

Amy: We need new shelf flags for the end caps, but we should check the DCPis first, because last time... What is happening?
Glenn: Could it be a race riot? It's so hard to tell in the early stages. Could be the rapture, but then why am I still here?

Page 2