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Cereal Bar

‘Cereal Bar’

Season 5, Episode 15 -  Aired February 13, 2020

Jonah is suspicious when Cloud 9's new owners, Zephra, install a cereal bar in the break room. Meanwhile, Garrett angles for paid time off.

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: The storm shelter is just a great place to get things off your chest. Whenever I have troubles, I come down here and I shout 'em out.
Garrett: Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Glenn: Here, watch me. [shouts] Why did I have a baby so late in life? [talks] You know, stuff like that.
Garrett: You know, I think I understand what you're saying, but maybe I could use some more examples.
Glenn: Okay, um... Diabetes stinks! I think I voted wrong! I think Ellen DeGeneres dances too much! It's unprofessional!
Garrett: Still not getting it.


Quote from Cheyenne

Cheyenne: Oh, I like this game. Is it bigger than a dog?
Sayid: It's clearly bigger than a dog.
Cheyenne: You don't know what dog I'm thinking of.

Quote from Glenn

Amy: Good morning, Store 1217. We have a very exciting surprise today. Zephra has sent us a little break room upgrade just to say "Welcome to the Z-Fam." They asked me to say it that way, and I'm happy to.
Glenn: Okay, let me guess. Ah... It's a pipe organ. Oh, my gosh, I can call Judy from the church and she'll give us lessons, though you have to practice 'cause otherwise you're just wasting her time.
Amy: Don't need Judy. Not a pipe organ.

Quote from Sayid

Glenn: Free cereal? Boy, you can really tell we work for a tech company now, huh?
Sayid: It's very disruptive.

Quote from Marcus

Amy: Come on, peeps. Dig in.
Marcus: Wait, wait. What if I already filled up on breakfast?
Jonah: Just don't eat?
Marcus: Ah, man!
Amy: Or, like, eat anyway.
Marcus: Yes! Thanks, Amy. I owe you one.

Quote from Sayid

Sandra: Do you guys think this is real Lucky Charms or the knockoff brand?
Sayid: Real. The fake stuff turns your milk green. This milk is true blue, baby.
Earl: Classy move, Zephra.

Quote from Amy

Jonah: You have to admit, it is pretty convenient timing.
Amy: Can you just help me figure out how to play this? Kira Moon isn't some stodgy Cloud 9 CEO. She's young and edgy and fun, and I think she's progressive. Look at her profile pic. It's just a purple square. That's gotta mean something.
Jonah: You know, maybe this could actually be an opportunity.
Amy: No. No, Jonah. No. I know what you're thinking.
Jonah: Oh, come on, I'm just saying, how often do employees get to talk to the CEO? You know, we could bring up some of our issues.
Amy: And have her first impression of us be Veruca Salt barking out orders? [British accent] "But Daddy, I want health insurance now!"
Jonah: That is pretty adorable. I don't know how they'd say no.

Quote from Glenn

Garrett: [knocks laundry pods off shelf] [to himself] Oh, Garrett, you're so stupid. [to Glenn] Oh, man. That's embarrassing. I'm sorry you had to see that, Glenn.
Glenn: Oh, no. Come on, this is nothing. I once drove a pallet of Mentos into a stack of colas. I thought it was the Rapture.

Quote from Garrett

Glenn: Is everything okay?
Garrett: Yeah, no, I... Things are just really hard right now. I'm feeling a lot of mental distress.
Glenn: Oh, really? I'm... Well, I'm so sorry. What's going on?
Garrett: Just so much. Unfortunately, as my supervisor, you're not allowed to ask.
Glenn: Well, is there anything I can do?
Garrett: I mean, I guess you could grab the Zephra corporate guidelines and look up what it says under "Employee Mental Distress"?
Glenn: Yeah, okay. All right, look. You stay right here. I'm gonna be right back.
Garrett: Thank you. Page 43. Just a guess.

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Okay, so shouting didn't do the trick, but how about I take you on a fishing trip, huh? Just you and me and a gentle breeze. It'll be relaxing.
Garrett: I would not like that.
Glenn: Oh, yes, you would. [blows]
Garrett: What are you doing... No, no, don't do that!
Glenn: I'm picking you up at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow, come rain or shine, and unfortunately, it is supposed to rain.

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