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Season 5, Episode 10 -  Aired December 12, 2019

Amy is nervous as Jonah and Sandra head to Corporate for the union contract negotiations. Meanwhile, Glenn, Mateo and Garrett compete to sell awful clearance items.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: I look at these chumps, I see breakfast, lunch, dinner.


Quote from Dina

Amy: Oh, crap! That might be Jonah. Hold on, give me a second. Yes. Yes, it's him. "Georgia had bagel accident"? What the hell does that mean?
Dina: Ah, he probably used voice-to-text. I bet he meant, "George had a baked quail egg salad." Oh, this George sounds like a bit of an oddball.

Quote from Marcus

Amy: All right, well, um, we have a power outage.
Marcus: Lack of electricity. Technically, it's still in here in the walls, but we can't get it out via the wires.

Quote from Amy

Justine: Are these axe marks? Someone definitely cut this thing down.
Amy: You know, actually I heard that teens are going around chopping down trees these days. It's called lumberjacking. I saw it on 20/20. It's weird, but it's true.

Quote from Justine

Justine: Oh, Jonah, little negotiating tip... Walk away so they know you're serious. When I bought my Corolla, I hid in the bathroom for hours.
Jonah: I will keep that in my back pocket.

Quote from Jonah

Jonah: Georgia, hi. Jonah Simms from Store 1217.
Georgia: Oh, so good to meet you in person. You look just like you sound.
Jonah: Yeah, I-I get that a lot for some reason.

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: [over PA] And if you follow the news, you know that microwavable sweaters are the leading cause of nipple cancer.
Mateo: Really?
Garrett: It's true. It's a fact.

Quote from Jonah

Amy: Make sure the negotiator pushes for maternity leave. That's important. And holiday pay. Here, to remind you. [gives Jonah a candy cane]
Jonah: It's all in the union proposal, so I don't think I'll need a reminder. Huh, cinnamon. I'm intrigued by the non-peppermints.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: Sorry I'm late. Jerry had never seen me in a blazer, so the morning got a little busy.
Jonah: Cool.

Quote from Mateo

Glenn: Some of this stuff seems too nice to be in clearance, like Ottawa's Tallest Buildings.
Garrett: No, this junk needs to go in the trash. Nobody's buying it.
Mateo: More like no one's selling it. Does anyone remember when I worked here? Carts overflowed. Now I'm stuck watching you guys blob around all day while I waste my talents in the vision center.
Garrett: Helping people see?
Mateo: I know. A dog can do it.
Glenn: No one moved product like me back at Sturgis & Sons. I even got a plaque that said, "Dad's Number One Sales Boy."
Mateo: I'm sure you were good, like, back in the old days, but I'm just saying, in modern times, I was the best salesperson in the store.
Glenn: I think I might still have some moves left in me. In fact, on a good blood-sugar day, I might even be better than you.
Mateo: Okay, Glenn. Why don't we pick out items for each other? And if you sell yours first, I'll take over your bathroom trash duty for three months.
Glenn: Okay, I'm in.
Garrett: You know what? I'm in, too. Somebody's been putting what may or may not be dog poop in that trash, and I'm gonna let one of you guys figure out the mystery.

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