Previous Episode Next Episode 
Cloud 9 Academy

‘Cloud 9 Academy’

Season 4, Episode 10 -  Aired March 7, 2019

Amy and Cheyenne attend a Cloud 9 Academy seminar to advance their careers. Mateo tries to find a way to apply for asylum in the United States. Meanwhile, Garrett and Dina reluctantly look after Glenn's baby as he tries to babyproof his office.

Quote from Sandra

Jonah: Hey, Sandra, are you busy later?
Sandra: Actually, yeah. We're pulling the plug on my grandmother tonight. She was doing better for a while, then after her last stroke, she just never bounced back.
Jonah: Well, that... That sounds terrible. I- I- We were just gonna ask you to come to a meeting, but obviously you don't need-
Sandra: I can come. I just made that up to sound like I had plans. [takes pamphlet] Ooh, see you there. All right. Whoo. [walks off]
Mateo: She's really fallen apart since that whole Jerry/Carol thing.
Jonah: She is not okay.

Rate

Quote from Dina

Garrett: I think Glenn's kid is getting hungry. Do we have any more of that formula?
Dina: She doesn't drink formula, she's still on breast-milk. I've been pumping and selling it to Glenn for a dollar an ounce. It's Iranian saffron prices.

Quote from Marcus

Mateo: Okay, how 'bout we do a rally? [Marcus sighs] Put up some banners, maybe get a band to play or something?
Jasmine: I know someone at the local news. I bet they would do a story on it.
Marcus: No, guys, I say we get some rafts, and we get some paddles and we take this guy down Bay of Pigs style.
Jonah: You know Bay of Pigs ended badly, right?
Marcus: For the pigs, maybe.

Quote from Sayid

All: [chant] Hey, hey, ho, ho, Duterte's gotta go. Hey, hey...
Sayid: Wow, you guys got the news to show up. Doesn't that make you nervous?
Mateo: Not really. I'm just one of those people that shines through the lens.
Sayid: If it were me, I'd probably be thinking, "Sayid, don't criticize the government on camera, because if it doesn't work and you do get deported, you're definitely getting tortured and murdered over there." Anyway, I'm gonna go play Pokemon Go. I hear there's a Snorlax near the loading dock.

Quote from Janet

Janet: When I clean a window, I use Windex. When I clean the tiles, I use Tilex. But when I clean the floors...
[Glenn breaks through his door]
Glenn: [grunts] Janet, Sarah. [panting] Oh, um, I think a large bird may have pooped in my office wastebasket, so if someone could clean that up. [walks off]
Janet: He has lost his mind. That man [bleep] in his office.

Quote from Mateo

Jonah: I don't understand how you could apply for asylum.
Mateo: [scoffs] It's not easy. "List your extended family." [chuckles] I'm Filipino, that'll take years.
Jonah: Says you need to show that if you were sent back, you might be persecuted based on your, "race, religion, nationality, political opinion, or membership in a particular social group."
Mateo: Well, I was in an a cappella group once in school. I mean, we weren't persecuted, but people were really judge-y.
Jonah: I think they mean more like if you thought you might be arrested because you were, like, a prominent Duterte critic or something.
Mateo: Do you think they'd believe Duterte would have me killed for being in an a capella group? 'Cause we were really bad. Well, not me, I was good, but one guy was off-key all the time.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: What about a fundraiser? We could do a bake sale.
Mateo: What would we do with the money?
Sandra: I guess we pay off the supplies and then split anything that was leftover.
Jonah: So wouldn't that just be starting a baked goods company?
[Sandra smiles and nods]

Quote from Mateo

Mateo: Okay, how 'bout the International Anti-Duterte Society? I-A-D-S. No, wait, that's too close to AIDS. People don't wanna join something that reminds them of AIDS.
Jonah: Right, right.
Mateo: [sighs] Okay. Outraged People Rallying Against Hate.
Jonah: Are you just working backwards from Oprah?
Mateo: I was, that's exactly what I was doing.
Jonah: I like it.
Mateo: You get asylum, you get asylum. It's what she does.
Jonah: Yeah, I know. I... I got it.

Quote from Dina

Glenn: Okay, Rose, say hi to everyone. Say hi. Say hi, come on. Say hi. Say hi. That's it, say hi.
Garrett: Okay, do we have to wait till she develops speech, or can we just move on?
Glenn: It's Jerusha's day to clean our pastor's gutters, so I get to bring her in. Dina, can you hold her for a bit while I set up her things in my office?
Dina: Ooh, yeah, I'm really not a baby person. And for future reference, I'm also not a wool sock person or a reptile person.
Glenn: But she's not just some random baby. She lived in you for nine months.
Dina: Yeah, I guess it's like if you're shopping at Goodwill, and you see an old shirt of yours you donated, and you go, "Hey, that was my shirt." And for a second it feels meaningful, but then you realize it's not.

Quote from Mateo

Mateo: So I was just folding pants, and I had the best idea: I should take down Duterte.
Jonah: And you got that from pants?
Mateo: It's just so I qualify for asylum, but here, check out my Facebook page...
Jonah: "Ermagherd, Duterte."
Mateo: Mm-hmm.
Jonah: "Rodrigo Duterte doesn't respect human rights, but that's none of my business," over a picture of Kermit the Frog sipping tea.
Mateo: That one's got a lot of likes.
Jonah: Yeah, I don't know that reposting a bunch of memes qualifies you as a political dissident.
Mateo: Well, then what would?
Jonah: I don't know, uh... Actually being the leader of an actual activist group that actually opposes Duterte.
Mateo: Ugh, okay, fine. Marcus, I'm starting a group, you in?
Marcus: Definitely.
Jonah: Revolution begins.

Page 2