Dina: Come on now, you just need to make it worth his while, right? Bedroom-wise? Kitchen-wise? Dungeon-wise? Whatever it is you guys do. This would just really help me out.
Mateo: Okay, sure, no problem.
Dina: Great. Let me know if you need any good sex moves.
Mateo: Nope, I'm good.
Dina: You're gonna wanna take his whole mess of parts, and just twist 'em up fast, okay? Like a... like a windup toy. Uh, pretend it's a jar of pickles that won't open. [to a customer] Excuse you, this is a private conversation.

Dina: Okay, this is our store today. Here's where I'd like to see it in three months. Fresh coat of paint, advanced security system. You can tell Jeff whatever they have at the Tel Aviv airport will be fine.

Garrett: Look, I know how much you want the award.
Glenn: Whoa! That's quite a leap.
Garrett: Well, on the off chance that I'm right, why don't we do this? [over PA] Attention, Cloud 9 employees, do not recommend me for the Integrity Award. If you would like to reward me for rescuing a dog, feel free to bring baked goods by Customer Service, preferably homemade.
Glenn: Thank you.
Garrett: [over PA] And no lemon squares, or anything with oatmeal. Save that crap for somebody who did not rescue a dog.

Glenn: On to something more important than a bunch of dumb bugs. Who's excited about awards season?
Amy: Um, Glenn, the Oscars were last month. I know that, because we had that Oscar pool. Wait, who won that again?
Jonah: I believe that was you.
Amy: Oh, yeah, that was me. It's all about the technical categories.
Jonah: Yep, you said that.

Amy: No, see, the thing is Party of Five showcased his boyish appeal, but it made it harder for him to get darker, more adult roles.
Jonah: I wonder what he's doing now.
Amy: He married Kelly from The Real World: New Orlenas. They live in Park City with their three kids.
Jonah: Whose names are...
Amy: How would I know? Jackson, Miller, and Lucy. [Jonah laughs] [dismisses a call from Adam] Okay, so who was your '90s crush?
Jonah: Alyssa Jayne Milano was born in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn...
Amy: [groans] Of course it was Alyssa Jayne Milano!
Jonah: ...in 1972.

Glenn: Hey, Cheyenne. I was just reading your recommendation. It is so nice.
Cheyenne: Oh, thanks.
Glenn: But three sentences? Can I really be summed up in three sentences?
Cheyenne: Oh, should it be longer?
Glenn: Well... I'm just wondering if we could up the wow factor. I mean, it's not about making it longer. It's about making it better and longer.

Dina: The roach situation in the break room is getting worse. So clean up your crumbs, and Heather, stop hoarding yogurt lids in your locker. You're not gonna win that free cruise.

Glenn: Forget about the Oscars. I am talking about the new Cloud 9 Integrity Awards. [silence] I know, right? So cool. The winner from each store gets an unframed certificate, and attends a luncheon with an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Garrett: Wait, hold on. So you go through the buffet, and fill your plate once, and that's all you get?
Glenn: No, it's all-you-can-eat.

Garrett: Oh, I see, so it's all you can eat on your one trip to the buffet.
Glenn: No, you're... you're not getting it. It... it's multiple trips. That... that's the beauty of it.

Mateo: Well, I'm probably not eligible, since I'm dating Jeff. You know, I wouldn't want to add more drama to the scandal, or add gasoline to the fire, right? [silence] [laughs] You were all so interested when you thought Sandra was dating Jeff.
Dina: Yeah, it just feels kinda done now.
Sandra: Yeah.