Amy: Okay, let's start by hearing everybody's work experience. You first, Justine.
Justine: Oh, okay. Well, um, I have worked here for over three years, and before that I was a dog groomer. So I guess you could say I am good with hot-tempered bitches. [chuckles] I'm sorry. I'm very nervous.
Amy: No, thank you, Justine, for answering the question.

Amy: Okay, Mateo, uh, you?
Mateo: I, um, can type 100 words per minute.
Amy: Oh, wow.
Mateo: And I am currently on a three month trial of the full Microsoft Office Suite.

Mateo: Okay, so I swiped this digital picture frame from electronics because it'll look really cute on your desk.
Amy: Ooh. Yes, it would. Oh, it's gonna be so nice to have an assistant who actually helps. Myrtle used to just cut out pictures of horses from magazines and tape them to my computer.

Cheyenne: Not gonna lie, it's getting hard to hype you up in there. Not 'cause I don't think you deserve it, just 'cause you're doing so bad.
Mateo: I didn't think Marcus would be good.
Amy: Well, neither did I. What, did he take the Limitless pill? [off their looks] You know, the movie Limitless where the guy takes the pill, and...
Mateo: This isn't the time, Amy.

Mateo: [sings] ♪ There were nights where the wind was so cold ♪
Justine: You really need your assistant to sing to you?
Amy: It helps with stress. You should've known that. Ten points deducted.
Justine: No
Mateo: ♪ Right outside the window ♪

Glenn: Dina, we agreed it would be me.
Dina: No, we agreed it would be me because I knew she would never believe that I would let you be in charge.
Glenn: Let? I am in charge.
Dina: You?
Glenn: Yes.
Dina: You have diabetes. You aren't even in control of your own glucose.

Mateo: So your new desk is gonna be here in three days.
Amy: Oh, thank you.
Mateo: Oh, and tomorrow I was thinking of doing Mariah Carey's "Fantasy". And then on Tuesday, maybe Patti LaBelle, or...
Amy: Oh, no Mateo, you don't actually have to sing to me.
Mateo: Oh. Uh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, that... that makes the most sense.

Jonah: Oh, hey, look at that. Triscuit sale, two-for-one. Hey, you've got a thing coming up. Is that, uh... Do you need... Do you need snacks or is it, like, a non-snack gathering?
Garrett: Okay, buddy, you're being weird. My thing next Friday is just a few dudes that you don't even know. No work people have been invited. So just relax.
Jonah: Okay. Is... Is Randy invited?
Garrett: Yeah, sure. Randy's gonna be there.
Jonah: I know Randy. I used to say hi to him all the time back when we lived together. In fact, he even asked me to move my car once 'cause I was blocking him in.
Garrett: Yeah, I just don't like mixing my worlds. I don't bug you for hanging out with Amy and her kids all the time.
Jonah: I'm not always hanging out with Amy.
Garrett: Look, I'm not saying it like it's a bad thing. It's just you got your own stuff going on, I got my own stuff going on. To each their own stuff. It's great.
Jonah: But I... I have room for more stuff. I'm like a hatchback. You can always cram more in me. [to a customer] Don't... Don't make it dirty.

Amy: Okay, uh, Justine. I would say that you should be able to ask the vendor when the shipment will be delivered without making a joke about his package.
Justine: Okay. Got it. Yeah, I'm still trying to learn all your little quirks, so...

Marcus: I got this. Okay. [on the phone] Jeanie! It's Marcus from the warehouse. Hey, I was calling to see if I could check when that shipment's gonna be coming in. Is there any chance we could push that up to Wednesday? Oh. Jeanie in a bottle. 'Cause you're making wishes come true. Buh-bye. [hang up]
Amy: Did you actually just get them to move the shipment up?
Marcus: The key is to talk directly to the truck drivers. Now, I have a great relationship with them since I work in the warehouse.
Mateo: Oh, do you work in a warehouse, Marcus? I didn't know because you only mentioned it, like, a million times.
Marcus: Okay, that doesn't even make sense. There's no way I could've said a million words. That would've taken years.
Mateo: [speaks Tagalog]
Marcus: [speaks Tagalog]
Mateo: [speaks Tagalog]