Season 6, Episode 13 - Aired March 18, 2021
The Cloud 9 founder's son, Lowell Anderson (Dave Foley), visits the store. Dina considers breaking up with Brian. Meanwhile, Sandra helps Jonah spy on Amy's social media.
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: I can help you figure out if she's with someone. I've been monitoring her social media for months. I print out the good ones, and I put them up on a board.
Jonah: Look, it's fine. Thank you. I... It was just bugging me, you know? Like when you get a tune stuck in your head, and you can't remember what the song is. It's no big deal. Um, have you been monitoring all of our social media?
Sandra: Yep, I even know about everyone's fake accounts.
Jonah: Huh. People have fake accounts? That's weird.
Sandra: Is it, Scott McPhee? Who only follows organic farms and influencer underwear ladies.
Quote from Sandra
Jonah: Okay, I think I have a lead, but it's a long shot. Amy's cousin's ex is following one of "Scott McPhee's" favorite... influencers.
Sandra: Oh, Emma just posted.
Jonah: What? What's it say? What's it say? What's it say? "Having a great time in the snow with my mom and little bro. #FamilyTrip, #HighlnTheMountains."
Sandra: Oh, my God. She's just with Emma and Parker. She's still single. [sighs] Wow. That was scary. [laughs] Look at my hand.
Jonah: Yeah, although I am concerned about #HighlnTheMountains. Do you think Emma's smoking pot again?
Sandra: Who cares? What matters is that Amy's single. Now, here's the plan. You're gonna call Amy and say you want one last special night together. But here's what she doesn't know: I'm gonna poke a hole in the condom.
Jonah: What? No, this isn't... No, no. I'm over Amy, okay? And I'm with Hannah now.
Sandra: Then what the [bleep] have we been doing all day?
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Three days ago, Amy posted this car selfie. Note the parka. Now, look at the sun reflected in her sunglasses. Wonderland Cabins. That's where she is.
Jonah: Okay, this is um, an invasion of privacy.
Sandra: You think I could follow this trail if she wasn't leaving breadcrumbs? She wants to be caught.
Jonah: Caught... going on vacation?
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Sorry, we're low on shopping carts. They haven't sent us new ones in a while, and a bunch of ours got busted 'cause some teens turned them into BattleBots.
Man: Oh, yeah. I saw that on YouTube. Did that kid survive?
Cheyenne: Oh, well, kinda. They couldn't fully get the wheel out, so..
Quote from Dina
Glenn: Please give a warm welcome to Cloud 9 royalty: Mr. Lowell Anderson. [applause]
Dina: It's an honor, sir. Dina Fox, co-manager, 12-time employee of the month, highest quarterly shrink reduction in the region 2013, never taken a vacation day.
Lowell Anderson: Oh, me neither. How 'bout sick days?
Dina: Nope... I was out for 49 hours when I gave birth.
Lowell Anderson: Ha! Then I win.
Dina: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Quote from Carol
Carol: Oh, hey, girl! Were we meeting today?
Hannah: Uh, I just came to see Jonah. That's all, quick hello.
Carol: I see. Get it, girl. Get it, then forget it. You know what I mean?
Hannah: I just...
Jonah: I-I don't.
Carol: See ya later. [walks off]
Hannah: [chuckles] She's my client. I represent her.
Jonah: Oh, yeah, no. You took out student loans to become a lawyer to represent her.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Should I have told Lowell Anderson about our new MERV filters?
Garrett: Yeah, the whole time I was like, why isn't she mentioning that?
Dina: Yeah, I know.
Quote from Jonah
Sandra: Why are you on Emma's social media?
Jonah: I wasn't.
Sandra: Yes, you were. That picture was when she went to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and wore a gray sweater with a llama on it. Are you stalking Amy?
Jonah: No... I'm not stalking. I just... Look, I-I heard that she was up in the mountains, and I was curious to see if she took the kids, that's all.
Sandra: Hmm, do you think she went up there with a guy?
Jonah: It's none of my business, okay? I was just wondering about Emma. Which is less weird. I think.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: [on the phone] Sorta straight. Yeah.
Cheyenne: [enters] Glenn.
Glenn: S-sorry, one second. I'm on the phone with a fancy hair salon. Yes, but it just needs to be, you know, groundbreaking. Well, you're the expert, Trinity, you tell me. Okay, no, that's good. All right, I'll see you soon. Love you! Sorry, that was strange. I'm a little nervous. Love you. Bye.
Glenn: What's up?
Cheyenne: Lowell was just saying that he wants the store to be more "hands-on," and I just worry that his ideas might be slightly... fully wack.
Glenn: Okay, look, Lowell's methods may seem strange, but that's because we're not on his level intellectually. I mean, this morning, I watched a squirrel unwrap a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for an hour.
Cheyenne: Glenn, you have to get TikTok. That's, like, literally all it is.
Glenn: I know, I know. Look, just do whatever Lowell wants, 'kay? And I'm sorry, I'm in a rush. Trinity's working out of her aunt's kitchen, and we have to wrap it up before the cacciatore prep starts.
Quote from Mateo
Dina: Mateo. You seem like someone who's gotten dumped a lot.
Mateo: Because of the shirt? You heard him tell me to wear it.
Dina: No, it's more your whole thing feels it would be a lot. So what's the nicest way you've been broken up with?
Garrett: I told you, there's no nice way to do it. You just gotta rip off the Band-Aid.
Mateo: He's right. Just don't use any of those insulting clichés, you know? "It's not you, it's me."
Nicki: Yeah, or "I think we'd be better as friends."
Earl: "When I look at you, all I see is Shrek."
Tony: When Sophia broke up with me, she said, "I don't think I'm ready to date someone as great as you." [all groan]
Nia: You want them to know that the breakup is hard for you, so try to look sad, but not too sad. I aim to be as sad as possible while still looking hot.
Mateo: It'd be easier to just let him break up with you. Be mean. Start pointless arguments. It's actually super fun.