Season 6, Episode 3 - Aired November 12, 2020
After Jonah throws his hat in the ring to take the open job as floor manager, Dina hopes to find a more pliant candidate. Meanwhile, Mateo oversteps his bounds as Glenn's assistant, and Garrett offers dating advice to Sandra's adopted son Tony.
Quote from Cheyenne
Jonah: Cheyenne, did you tell people I was gonna take away their breaks?
Cheyenne: Yeah, Dina told me if I said that to people, they wouldn't vote for you. Plus my friend K-Fai works at Olive Garden... [loudly] And if I'm elected, she's gonna bring us free breadsticks. Oh, and also, I promise to get the best scientists to work really hard on a COVID vaccine.
Jonah: What? Oh, come on, that's... There is no way she can do that. The vaccine thing. The breadsticks part, maybe. I don't know.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: I'm so glad we're repainting your office. Okay, which do you like better: Seawater or Dusty Mint?
Glenn: Oh, um... Well, they're both so different. You know what? Why don't you pick? You know, in fact, maybe I'll start leaning on you to make some executive decisions around here. You know, anything to help out with the old stress.
Mateo: Executive decisions. Yes, I guess I could see myself calling some of the shots around here. Sort of like the Evita to your Juan Perón. Patti LuPone version, obviously, not Madonna.
Glenn: Oh, oh, oh. Uh-huh. So what do you think about the paint?
Mateo: Seawater. Dusty Mint is garbage.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. I mean, Dusty Mint stinks. Get out of here. You stink. [chuckles]
Mateo: That was Seawater.
Glenn: Oh. Well, tell your friend.
Quote from Dina
Jonah: Right, so anyway, I was just gonna say, I have a bunch of great ideas. Like, for instance, what if we gave walkie-talkies to all the zone captains so we don't have to hike all over the store?
Glenn: Oh, that's interesting.
Jonah: Right? Yeah, and to be honest, there are a lot of policies that could be updated or changed altogether.
Dina: Or we could not change any of the carefully thought out policies I've been honing for the past decade. Also, we only have eight walkies, and I need four backups.
Jonah: Right, but we could just buy more walkies.
Dina: [scoffs] Oh, the DX49Ls? They discontinued them seven years ago.
Dina: Good luck, buddy. [laughing] This guy. "Can we just order more DX49Ls?" It's like, "Good luck, buddy" "They were discontinued seven years ago."
Quote from Sayid
Sayid: [to Jonah] You take away my break, and I'll run you over with your stupid hybrid car!
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Why shouldn't we have a debate?
Dina: Well, I just feel like your strength in your candidacy lies in your charisma as opposed to your... ideas.
Cheyenne: Oh, so you think Jonah has better ideas than I do?
Dina: No! No, I don't think that. I just think that your ideas are best when they come from... me.
Cheyenne: Oh, is that why you wanted me to be floor supervisor? So you can just tell me what to do?
Dina: [turns to Isaac] So your buddy's yard... is it a full menu or tapas?
Cheyenne: Just so you know, I would be a great floor supervisor, okay? I've been here forever, I get along with everybody, and I know who's boned who and who can't work together. And I do have good ideas. For instance, I think we should stagger our shift start times so we're not all clocking in at once. And at checkout, we should have go-back carts for each department. And every zone captain should have a walkie-talkie.
Jonah: I actually said the same... never mind. I respect women. I don't interrupt them.
Cheyenne: Honestly, people shouldn't vote for me just because Jonah's some boob-crazed white guy, okay? People should vote for me because I would be [bleep] awesome.
Quote from Marcus
Glenn: Who's got an announcement?
Marcus: Oh, I got one. I saw a picture of my great-grandmother from the 1930s, and I realized, "Whoa. That's my type."
Glenn: Well, that's... something.
Quote from Glenn
Mateo: Oh, just a heads-up: Carol asked for the day off, but she didn't really have a good reason. So I used my executive authority and said no.
Glenn: Oh... Okay. Hey, listen, when I said I wanted help, you know, making decisions, I meant smaller decisions.
Mateo: Glenn, if you're gonna lean on me, lean on me. You're way too busy to be wasting your time with Carol.
Glenn: Yeah, well, I guess I am busy.
Mateo: Yeah, I told her you're not even up for talking 'cause you just had a big fight with Jerusha.
Glenn: A fight with Jerusha? We never fight. We swallow our anger, and then it comes out later as quiet burps while we're driving.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Listen, I was wrong to assume you would just be my puppet. I think sometimes I still see you as that teenager that started working here part time, turning our regular apples into bongs, but now I see that you have turned into a very strong, independent person.
Cheyenne: Well, thank you, Dina.
Dina: And that's why I can no longer support you. I'm backing Marcus now. Vote Marcus, everybody! Cheyenne put cameras in the bathrooms!
Cheyenne: What? Dina!
Dina: Seriously, I'm so proud of you. She just told me! She watches everybody number two!
Cheyenne: No, I don't.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Some of you must be thinking, "Wow, our manager sure looks different today." It's a little joke because, you know, I'm taking over for Amy, and... Oh, Jonah, I'm sorry.
Jonah: It's fine. You can say her name. I'm aware she still exists.
Glenn: Okay, well, um, I promised Jerusha that I would not let the job stress me out this time around. So instead of me leading the meeting, why don't we all lead the meeting together?
Garrett: Cool, that seems much better than you just giving us the information we need to do our jobs.
Glenn: Okay, Garrett, just park the snark, okay?
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Last night, Jerry fed a granola bar to one of Tony's sharks.
Cheyenne: Whoa, what happened?