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Curbside Pickup

‘Curbside Pickup’

Season 5, Episode 9 -  Aired November 21, 2019

Jonah and Cheyenne are overwhelmed when Cloud 9 start offering curbside pickup in thirty minutes. Meanwhile, Amy tries to fix up her brother, Eric (George Salazar), with Mateo.

Quote from Cheyenne

Jonah: Cheyenne, what are you doing? Get a... Get a cart.
Cheyenne: No, there's no time. The orders just keep coming. I had to pee for two hours, and now I don't anymore. Where did the pee go, Jonah?


Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Hey, if any of you curbside folks want to trade places, I'd be happy to work outside today. It's a nice fall day out there.
Dina: Fascinating. You're inside on checkouts.
Glenn: That's fine because it's fall inside too.
Dina: Not true.

Quote from Cheyenne

Dina: Okay, come on, let's go! These orders are piling up. Jonah, your last order took 33 minutes. Quick math lesson: That's more than 30.
Jonah: Dina, some of these orders are insane. One of them just said, "Retirement gift for my dad. Don't be afraid to get creative."
Cheyenne: Yeah, it's been so crazy, I haven't even been able to go on Instagram. Corona thought I was dead.

Quote from Marcus

Amy: And lastly, we're launching curbside pickup today, so some of you are gonna be working on that with Dina.
Dina: Okay, those on curbside with me are Simms, McNeill, Thompson, Sikowicz, Vasquez, Bradley, Kaluiokalani.
Marcus: So you hired a whole outside team for this?
Sandra: Those are our last names.
Garrett: We have a Sikowicz?
Justine: That's me.
Marcus: Wait, do you know Ricky Sikowicz?
Justine: He's my cousin.
Marcus: What? He's my cousin too.
Justine: What?
Marcus: Oh. We should probably stop doing stuff.
Justine: Oh, yeah. I was gonna say that too.

Quote from Cheyenne

Amy: This is a great debate for another time. Now, I'm gonna be a little busy. My brother moved back and I'm giving him a tour of the store.
Cheyenne: We give tours? I want to take a tour.
Jonah: You work here.
Cheyenne: Yeah, but I don't know all the history and crap.
Amy: Neither do I. I'm not gonna tell him history.
Cheyenne: That sounds like a great tour.

Quote from Dina

Dina: So when a curbside order comes in, it prints on this printer and you'll hear a beep-beep on your Zebra. Now, you'll grab the order slip, collect everything on that order, and bring it out to the customer.
Cheyenne: And we're supposed to get a two-way thumbs-up? Is that even possible?
Dina: Apparently so. I mean, there's photographic proof. Now, from the time you hear the beep-beep, you'll have 30 minutes to get the order in the car.
Jonah: Yeah, but some orders take longer, right? I mean, like, if it's a big order, if it's spread out around the store...
Cheyenne: Yeah, or if it's for something that we don't even sell, like tractors.
Dina: Okay, these sound like excuses to me. We've promised 30 minutes. We'll do it in 30 minutes. Cloud 9 wants to provide its lazy customers with an efficient shopping experience.
Jonah: Yeah, by running its employees into the ground. Pretty soon, people are gonna have to pee in bottles. 'Cause they don't have enough time to take a bathroom break.
Dina: You want to pee in bottles? No problem. I'll fish one out of the recycling.
Jonah: No, that's not...
Dina: I mean, it's a little trickier for the gals, but definitely doable.

Quote from Amy

Amy: So you're not really dating now? Because Marcus seems to think you are.
Woman: This. This is why I don't shop online. Who's Marcus? Let's get into it.
Amy: Can you excuse us, please? [woman walks away]
Mateo: Okay, fine, I lied. He was cute, sure, but, okay, would it kill him to find a T-shirt without paint on it?
Amy: He does set design.
Mateo: If I started dating your brother, you know you'd always be up in our business.
Amy: Oh, come on, if you started dating, I would be, like, hands-off. I mean, like, I'd be hands-off, not that I would tell you, "Keep your hands off." You could have your hands all over him. I wouldn't mind. I mean, as long as he consented.
Mateo: I don't consent to this conversation.
Amy: Look, all I'm saying is that you don't have to worry about the "me" part of this. I would be, like, so chill! Like, you're gonna be like, "Where's Amy? I wonder what her whole take on this is," and I'm gonna be, like, in a hammock, swinging and chilling.
Mateo: Yeah, so that... I'd be worried about that.

Quote from Glenn

Jonah: We need more help.
Dina: Ugh, fine. Be babies. Sturgis, you're in.
Glenn: Glenn Sturgis? On curbside pickup?
Dina: No, you're gonna stand outside and apologize to customers when these two can't hack it.
Jonah: What?
Glenn: So my job is to stand outside on a crisp fall day and apologize? These are all my favorite things! [to customer] I am so sorry. [runs off]

Quote from Dina

Jonah: Glenn apologizing is not gonna fix the actual problem here.
Dina: Yeah, well, he's too feeble to fill orders, and when people see him stumbling around out there, they'll feel bad and cut us a break.
Cheyenne: No, that sounds like a big job. I should probably switch to apologizing too.
Dina: No! Stop whining! What I need from the two of you is less of this... ["yapping" gesture] and more of this. [mimes picking products from the shelves]
Jonah: I... Okay, are you gonna actually mime the whole thing?
Cheyenne: Wow, she's good at that. Next game night, she's on my team.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: Garrett, guess what? We sold another one of those VRs.
Garrett: What? No way! Hold up. Barbecue chips? Takis? Dill pickle-flavored almonds? This dude gets it.
Sandra: You should meet him.
Sandra: Oh, my God. This was Jerry's order?
Garrett: Yep, I'm sure you had no idea.
Jerry: Hey, sweetie. Hey, Garrett. I'm here to pick up my video game.
Garrett: Your video game? Do you have any idea what you just bought? That's state-of-the-art wireless VR.
Jerry: Cool. I learn so much from you.
Sandra: Hey, Garrett, maybe you could help Jerry set this up, and then if you wanted to play for a while, I'd cover you and you could get to know each other better. You know, since you're his best man. That all just occurred to me. [horn honks] [dogs bark]
Garrett: You know, I've left work for less. Let's go.

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