Dina: Morning. How was your night?
Jeff: Oh, not great actually. They put me in a room by the runway, and the noise was just...
Dina: Well, I slept here. Guarded the store with my life. Don't worry, I don't smell. Took a whore's bath in the ladies' room this morning. Just the major stink zones. You know, armpits, posterior, vag. That's, uh, in the front in case you're a homosexual.
Jeff: Yeah, I know where all the parts are, thank you.

Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers. The spider infestation in produce has been 80% contained. So we will be focusing our attention on the bedbug infestation in the mattress section. Meanwhile, we are down to only one raccoon left in the store. Unfortunately, that raccoon has grown powerful beyond our wildest fears.

Myrtle: I want Cloud 9 to be closer to my house.

Jeff: Corporate is just asking that you and the rest of the employees sign here. Then everybody can get back to work, and I can go home, which is a relief 'cause they've got me in a motel out by the airport. It says, "continental breakfast," but it's, like, cereal and toast. I'm like, "I can make that at home."
Dina: Not even a muffin?
Jeff: I didn't look. I was running late.

Dina: [over bullhorn] Please disperse. I have been authorized to break this strike, and I will hose you. You've been warned. [booing]
[When Dina turns the hose on, it's in sprinkle mode]
Dina: No, no. Okay.
[When Dina turns the hose back on, it's in mist mode]
Dina: Oh, come on.
Garrett: Oh, that looks refreshing.
Dina: No, no, no!
Glenn: Look, a rainbow!
Dina: Why isn't there a setting that hurts people?

Amy: Excuse me! Support our strike by boycotting Cloud 9. Don't give your money to a company that mistreats its employees.
Jonah: [to customers] I don't know about youse guys, but this broad's making some good sense, huh?

Jeff: Okay, everybody, listen up, please. Corporate doesn't want anyone to loose their jobs. They just want things the way they were. Dina is back as Assistant Manager. [all booing]
Dina: It is both an honor and a privilege to be able...
Jeff: And anybody who's willing to come in and sign the letter by the end of the day, we welcome you back. Glenn, that goes for you too. [points to Brett]
Glenn: But I'm Glenn.
Jeff: Really?
Glenn: Yeah.
Jeff: Oh, he just has an air of authority about him. Anyway, if that's something you feel you can't do, I understand, and I wish you well.

Dina: We do not negotiate with terrorists.
Amy: Who's the terrorist in this scenario, Dina?
Dina: That suit you're wearing.
Jeff: Eh, no one's a terrorist. Again, you don't have to be here.
Dina: Oh, I'm not gonna leave you alone with these two monsters.

Mateo: Oh, almost done with this display.
Jeff: Nice work.
Mateo: Thank you. It's Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag on the job. Not like those sons of bitches outside.

Dina: Anyway, just showing you what I bring to the table as Assistant Manager. And I'm gonna break the strike.
Jeff: Mm, I'm not asking you to do that.
Dina: I got it. You can't ask me. Don't worry, 'cause you just did. [chuckles] Just tell me what to do. I mean, we've got baseball bats, fire hoses. I mean, it's the first time for me, so if you take the lead...
Jeff: Okay, no. So we just want to end this peacefully. We don't want to trample on anybody's civil rights.
Dina: Ooh, but that... that sounds so good to me.