Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.

Mateo: What if we had a big public blowout, you know, and we dropped some major bombs?
Cheyenne: Okay, yeah, what if you come at me like, "I know what you did!"
Mateo: Okay. And then you'd be like, "And I know you were only friends with me to get close to Bo because you're in love with him." [Cheyenne gasps] Do you see how I moved the story forward?
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: Yours was just like attitude, which is fine.
Cheyenne: Yeah, ooh, and then it could come out that you're Harmonica's real father.
Mateo: So her parents are me and Bo?
Cheyenne: Yeah, imagine how pissed I'd be.
Mateo: Let's not commit to anything just yet, but we should definitely jot some ideas down.

Glenn: Hey, Dina, we got a problem at the registers. They're not accepting coupons.
Dina: Didn't you get that email? We're only accepting digital coupons now.
Glenn: What?
Dina: Zephra's just updating things a little.
Glenn: It seems crazy to change something that's working.
Dina: The horse and buggy was working. It seemed crazy to stop using that, but then they developed the car, and... Well, that destroyed the planet. That's a bad example.

Mateo: Oh, hey, skank. Why are you stocking? Did you finally get demoted?
Cheyenne: No, I'm covering for Sarah. Nina texted Sayid that she had HPV the whole time they were dating, so a bunch of people took him out for ice cream.
Mateo: Mm, he's so lucky.
Cheyenne: I know. I don't get it. I mean, we're, like, way more interesting than some dumped guy.
Mateo: Well, I am. But you're like an Iggy Azalea wannabe five years too late. [Cheyenne scoffs] Okay, that just felt like nothing.
Cheyenne: Yeah, it's not as fun without anyone watching.
Mateo: Right?

Sandra: Marcus told me all about it 'cause of this weird thing that's been happening. Like, I've been shopping online for a new mouthwash. Then I came to work, and I got a notification on my phone with a digital coupon for SuperCloud mouthwash.
Glenn: Wait. So that's what the digital coupons are about?
Sandra: Yep, then after I used that one, they sent me more coupons, so I kept buying the mouthwash just like they wanted me to.

Dina: Now, we've noticed some of your masks are getting dingy. Cheyenne will be handing out new protective equipment.
Mateo: Based on her history, I wouldn't trust Cheyenne with protection.
All: Oh!
Sandra: Damn.
Cheyenne: I may be a teen mom, but at least I don't look like someone put a Pixar character into a microwave.
All: Oh! [laughter]
Mateo: Well, you'd be DreamWorks, bitch.
All: Oh!
Justine: Savage.
Garrett: Please stop.

Garrett: Well, if it bothers you, I'm sure you could find somebody else to contact at Zephra.
Jonah: Yeah, you know, do a little research. Find out who the new Gary is.
Glenn: I guess. But if they think they're gonna improve on Gary, they're nuts. The man was perfect. 5'9", brown hair, you name it.
Jonah: That does sound perfect.
Garrett: You're 5'8".
Jonah: Same difference.

Marcus: Okay, okay. "Leading scientist admits Earth is flat." Right there on turhwarriors1.biz. Refute that. I dare you.

Garrett: [over PA] Also all noise-canceling headphones are on sale. Protect your ears from Mateo's screechy, tone-deaf, Celine wannabe...
Jonah: Um... Uh, I think Cheyenne might've slipped another one in there.
Garrett: Yep, yep, I just kind of go to autopilot on these. Sorry, guys, not a real announcement. Employee beef.

Sandra: Hey, Marcus, can you tell Glenn what you told me about Zephra?
Marcus: [laughs] What? I didn't say anything about Zephra, and if you heard something, it definitely wasn't from me, Marcus White. [rock music plays] Now, about Zephra. What were you thinking? Um. Who do you think is the one... Hold on, sorry. [music stops] It's actually super distracting. We'll just talk quietly.
Glenn: Okay, so I read something online about how Zephra is trying to control our minds.
Marcus: It's all true, and there's videos to prove it. Just Google "Zephra mind control guy goes nuts at Red Lobster."