Cheyenne: Well, I've heard that E-Verify is full of bugs. Just lots and lots of bugs.
Glenn: They're not bugs, Cheyenne. They're human beings.

Sayid: I was fleeing the civil war in Syria.
Cheyenne: Whoa, what was Syria like?
Sayid: Not good. Seriously, not good.
Glenn: Yeah, there's all sorts of, like, rampant destruction and beheadings and locusts, right?
Sayid: Yes, though the locusts had nothing to do with the war. They're a seasonal nuisance.
Dina: Hey, what are your thoughts on the movie, Syriana?
Sayid: I thought George Clooney was pretty okay, and Matt Damon was just okay.

Mateo: So Syria, huh?
Sayid: Why does everyone here start conversations like that?
Mateo: Ha. You know, I'm actually an immigrant, too. Not a refugee, like you. Knock on wood. [knocks twice] Just a regular, undocumented immigrant. Or is it "documented"? I'm always mixing those up. I think it's like inflammable-flammable, where they mean the same thing?
Sayid: No, they're opposites.
Mateo: Anyway, I'm definitely the legal kind. Came here legally, took the citizenship test, got sworn in by the president.
Sayid: The president swore you in?
Mateo: Uh-huh, yeah. Yeah. They, um... They do it personally. At least they used to.
Sayid: Which president?
Mateo: God, it's been so long, I don't even remember. One of the white ones? I wanna say... Henderson.

Sayid: Why are you telling people that I'm "lying like a Syrian"?
Mateo: Um, I don't think I ever said-
Sayid: What is that? That is not a saying.
Marcus: Who told you that? Was this Marcus? 'Cause that guy is... [softly] Okay, fine. I just- I know you heard me talking about being undocumented.
Sayid: You mean, President Henderson didn't personally swear you in?
Mateo: No, I don't even think Henderson was still alive when I came here. I was nervous that you might turn me in, so ironically, I was the one who started lying like a Syrian.
Sayid: Again, that is not a real saying.

Marcus: Okay, I'm just gonna say what everyone's thinking. How do we know he's not, you know, ISIS?
Garrett: What's ISIS?
Marcus: Are you- You haven't heard of ISIS? Are you even on Instagram?
Dina: Relax, they vet these guys for years. I mean, truthfully, out of everyone in this store, Sayid is the one person I'm sure isn't a terrorist.
Marcus: [scoffs] You think I could be a terrorist?
Dina: Yeah, I definitely think you could be a terrorist.
Cheyenne: Definitely.
Garrett: Oh, yeah. I would not rent you a U-Haul, ever.

Glenn: Where's Sayid?
Dina: I told him to shovel out front.
Glenn: What? Hasn't he been through enough? I mean, the last thing he needs is to be thrown out in the cold like like he's some nothing. Mateo, go take over for Sayid.
Mateo: Me? Wha- You know what? I can't. I am on holiday wrapping duty.
Glenn: No problem. Garrett, could you take over for Mateo, please?
Mateo: Or we can just cut out the middle man and have Garrett shovel the snow.
Garrett: What? How am I supposed to do that?
Mateo: I mean, we have snow tires. Okay, I want everybody to remember this the next time somebody says "Garrett can do anything."
Garrett: Wow.

Mateo: It's so unfair. I'm stuck outside shoveling snow while Sayid gets treated like he's part of Janet Jackson's entourage, or something.
Cheyenne: I know, he's safe and sound now. If anyone deserves special treatment, it's you.
Mateo: Right? Thank you.
Cheyenne: I mean, you could be deported literally at any moment, just taken back to the Philippines on some sex trafficker's yacht.
Mateo: What? I'm undocumented, not Liam Neeson's daughter. [Cheyenne coughs] Hey, Sayid. Whatcha doing?
Sayid: I left my lunch in the car.
Mateo: Cool. Well, looks yummy for your tummy. [laughs nervously] Apple a day. Ha ha.

Garrett: Don't look at me like that. I did all the heavy lifting. You can finish it up at home. Happy holidays. Next.
Dina: That is your idea of gift wrapping?
Garrett: I don't believe in gift wrapping. If I go through the trouble of getting you a gift, that should be enough. Now you want me to waste time, waste paper, just so you can rip it shreds and be just as surprised as if I just handed you the gift unwrapped? I don't think so.
Dina: You don't know how to wrap a gift.
Garrett: I do not.

Amy: I just wanted to lie in bed, order room service, and watch pay-per-view.
Jonah: We still will. We'll sneak out of here as soon as Jeff moves away from the doors.
Amy: He's been standing there for like, 20 minutes. He's just parked there waiting for someone to talk to him. It's so sad.
Jonah: You'd think someone would let the poor guy in on a conversation.
Amy: Yeah, well, everyone here's a d-bag anyway, so-
Jonah: Not everyone.
Amy: Everyone here is a d-bag. This is a room full of d-bags.
Jonah: Come on.
Amy: He's a d-bag. He's a d-bag. She's a triple d-bag. These are the kind of people who come here every year, they eat 1/2 million dollars' worth of shrimp cocktail, and then they tell us that they can't afford maternity leave.

Mateo: Cheyenne, I can't believe you didn't tell me you were pregnant.
Glenn: Cheyenne, you're pregnant?
Dina: Obviously she is. Look at her boobs.
Garrett: Whoa!
Cheyenne: I'm not pregnant.
Mateo: But Sayid said... [scoffs] That guy's always making up stuff about people.
Glenn: Huh?
Mateo: I mean, it's it's not his fault. Uh, it's a cultural thing. You know, lying is a big part of Syrian culture.
Dina: I've never heard that, and I've slept with a ton of Syrian dudes.
Cheyenne: Wait, is that where the phrase, "lying like a Syrian" comes from, Mateo?
Mateo: Oh, you know, now that you mention it, that makes sense. Yes, Cheyenne.
Garrett: Wow, what a completely natural conversation, Cheyenne and Mateo.