Schitt's Creek Quotes

Schitt's Creek

Schitt's Creek

After the wealthy Rose family lose their fortune, they go to live in their one remaining asset, the small town of Schitt's Creek, which they bought as a joke two decades earlier.

Starring: Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Levy, Annie Murphy, Emily Hampshire, Chris Elliott, Jenn Robertson, Dustin Milligan, Sarah Levy, Noah Reid, John Hemphill, Karen Robinson.
Recurring Actors: Tim Rozon, Rizwan Manji.
Original Run: 2015-2020.

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Quote from Twyla in The Hike

Twyla: Hey, what's up?
Alexis: Nothing, I was just on my way back from Ted's, and I thought I'd pop in and see how you're doing, girl. Good shift?
Twyla: Is this about the card reading earlier?
Alexis: What? No. I've been thinking about the card reading earlier, and I just feel like it wasn't the greatest send off, you know? So hopefully I'll get a better one this time, and it will just like, erase the other one.
Twyla: I'd be glad to do it, Alexis, but I should warn you, I think the deck may be cursed. I predicted four other drownings today.
Alexis: Okay, well maybe you should get a new deck.

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Quote from Alexis in The Hospies

Alexis: [singing] Are you ready? Let's do it. I'm a Lamborghini I'm a Hollywood star I'm a little bit tipsy When I drive my car I'm expensive sushi I'm a cute, huge yacht I'm a little bit single Even when I'm not Ah! Ah! I'm little bit I'm a little bit I'm a little bit of la la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis La la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis
Jocelyn: Oh wow, okay. [stops music]
Alexis: La-la-la.
Jocelyn: Just wonderful.
Alexis: Okay, yeah, I still actually had a few more verses. And in the last verse, I really get to showcase my range.

Quote from Moira in Roadkill

Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.

Quote from Moira in The Throuple

Moira: I never meant for you to think that I didn't wanna spend any time with you. Well I hope it's not too late to make up for lost time.
Alexis: Okay. What is your favourite season?
Moira: [inhales sharply] Awards.

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Quote from Moira in Rock On!

Moira: This is just sad. Why can't we still go to the casino? If I'm holding the truth stick, I was never planning to attend the concert anyway.
Ronnie: I never pegged you for a gambling kind of gal, Moira.
Moira: Oh, I'm not above a naughty night of debauchery. When Condi Rice and Sharon Stone and I used to make our annual casino sojourn to Ho Chi Minh City, well, let's just say, tôi không bao giờ thua.

Quote from Stevie in Driving Test

David: The upside is that you are your own boss now.
Stevie: Or I'm the owner of a very sad business with one under-performing employee.

Quote from Alexis in Family Dinner

Ted: Okay, good, because I've been thinking a lot about things, too.
Alexis: Like your proposal.
Ted: Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more it just didn't feel right.
Alexis: Yes! I agree!
Ted: Yeah, it came out of the blue, and you had a lot on your mind.
Alexis: Yes, Ted, yes!
Ted: So I think it may be best for us just to take some time, you know?
Alexis: Oh, my God, it's like we're sharing a brain!
Ted: Then in a few weeks, when we're settled, and more focused on each other, we try the whole proposal thing again. Hmm?
Alexis: Mmm-hmm...
Ted: Unless you were gonna say something else?
Alexis: No! [awkward chuckle] 'cause you and me... You and I... No, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! It's-mmm! So uh, us, the "us" thing, and... Um... Whoa!