607. Moira Rosé
Aired February 18, 2020
Moira and David spend the day sampling Herb Ertlinger's fruit wines to develop a product bearing her name. Alexis takes Stevie, Jocelyn, Twlya and Ronnie to a fitness class that she's promoting. Meanwhile, Johnny wants to have a talk with Patrick.
Quote from Roland
Roland: I remember when Jocelyn's dad gave me the talk. I mean, he was trying to talk me out of getting married, but she was 9 months pregnant at the time, so he really didn't have a leg to stand on. But I'll tell you, I could not get out of that sauna fast enough. No way!
Quote from Jocelyn
Jocelyn: Alexis, can I still go on the trip? I'm not saying that I need it. It's just last weekend I snuck Roland Jr. Into the ball room at Ikea, just so I could eat a meatball by myself.
Quote from Moira
Moira: You and Patrick are two good grapes. Different notes, different tannins, but... together, you've managed to make one perfect blend.
David: Thank you.
Moira: That being said...
David: Oh my God.
Moira: If I may impart a slice of marital sagacity: you and I, we're two potent grapes. You know, there's a lot of your father in Patrick.
David: Don't need that.
Moira: But just because their notes are subtle doesn't mean they require any less attention.
David: Says the woman who literally convinced me to leave my partner alone at home, watching a baseball game.
Moira: You know I'm right. Your father and I have produced beautiful wine together for over forty years.
Moira: And I have absolutely no doubt that your relationship with Patrick is going to get even better with age.
Quote from Moira
Moira: It turns out Herb Ertlinger, the great fruit vintner, is rabid fan of the Crows movie - good luck finding someone who isn't - and he would like to name a wine after me.
David: Oh my...
Patrick: They should call it a... a Moira Rosé. [chuckles]
Moira: Yes, that's what he has in mind.
Quote from Johnny
Patrick: Oh, hey, Mr. Rose.
Johnny: Patrick! Uh, yeah, I was gonna say hello, I, uh, didn't wanna interrupt.
Patrick: No, no, not at all. I'm just watching the game. Hey, do you want some pizza?
Johnny: Uh... yeah, I could go for some 'za. [chuckles]
Patrick: Ordered it a while ago, so it might be a bit cold by now, but...
Johnny: Oh, that's okay, cold pizza can be good. Hot pizza's good. Too-hot pizza - not so good. I got that happening.
Johnny: Oh, is this thin crust?
Patrick: I think it's just regular.
Johnny: Oh yeah, well, I love a regular crust. Yeah, cheese, tomato sauce, bread. Can't beat that combination.
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: I'm just gonna go and destroy this right now, because I get the creeping suspicion that this place is like, not okay. Like I feel like this is more than just a fitness class.
Ronnie: What do you think it is?
Alexis: Um, I think it's a cult. And like not the good kind. Not like when you go to India to follow a long-haired, sexy man around for a couple months and then come home with a bangin' yoga body.
Quote from Twyla
Alexis: No. No. No one is going on the trip. And I am so sorry for making you guys sign up for this.
Ronnie: Well, I'm keeping the Hydration bottles. I can just dump out the crystal water.
Twyla: Just a heads up, you guys, they're almost sold out of the "nocturnal affirmation" cassette tapes, so...
Twyla: Now I just need to buy one of their cassette players. Because you have to make sure they're playing at the right speed when you're sleeping.
Alexis: Twy, this is a cult. I brought you to a cult.
Twyla: Oh my gosh, did you not know that? My mom tried to take me to the gateway for spring break one year. I just thought I was supporting your career.
Quote from Moira
David: Ugh! Okay, you know what? I'm making a blend.
Moira: Yes. Make us a nice Moira-lot... or a Moira Rose-ling. Hey, not to be too effusive, but I'd call that one potable.
David: I have had worst things in my mouth. [chuckles]
Moira: I'm so happy that I wrestled you away today for this oenological escapade. I finally have you all to myself, David. When's the last time you and I had a whole day together with nary a care in the world?
David: I mean, I am in the middle of planning a wedding, while also building a successful retail empire.
Moira: Yes, you are. Then grant me this precious moment before there's a ring on your finger - to say chin chin to you and your husband-to-be.
David: This feels remarkably selfless.
Quote from Johnny
Patrick: Yeah, I guess I don't need to turn the volume down for these commercial breaks.
Johnny: Oh, whatever works for you.
Patrick: It's just I thought you had something that you wanted to talk about?
Johnny: Oh, no, just wondering what the inflation was on concessions these days, 'cause it's been years since I've been to a ball game. [chuckles]
Patrick: Well, it's highway robbery.
Johnny: Yeah, you got that right. [chuckles]
Patrick: It just sorta seemed like you wanted to talk about David for a second. Felt like that's where you were goin'.
Johnny: No, I... sure. Yeah, I can talk about David. Yeah, my son... [clears throat] Who, uh, you will be... walking down the aisle with very soon. Well, technically, you won't be walking with him... down the aisle, but... but um...
Quote from Patrick
Patrick: Mr. Rose, I don't wanna cut you off, but um... [clears throat] I'm glad we have a minute to talk. Because I, I hope it goes without saying that, as lucky as I feel to have met David, I also feel incredibly lucky to be joining your family. I love your son and I will always do everything I can to respect him and to protect him from all of the things in life that can set him off. And there are many, many things that can set him off...
Johnny: [laughs] Oh, I'm aware, yeah. Um... oh boy, that... pretty much covers it. Uh, I was only gonna say that I... I hope you treat him with... respect, which you just said you would, and, of course... I already knew it.
Patrick: I'm glad we had this talk, Mr. Rose.
Johnny: Me too. Me too.
Patrick: All right.