Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Quote from Moira in Friends & Family

Johnny: You know, I had an idea about what to do with the portrait.
Moira: Oh, it's still there, waiting for us. Isn't it?
Johnny: I was thinking, to save space, we could cut our faces out and make four smaller, individual portraits.
Moira: We could here's another thought. We bid it farewell.
Johnny: Are you kidding?
Moira: It doesn't fit, John. And I don't just mean literally. We aren't those people anymore. We are, but we aren't.

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Recent Quotes

Friday, November 27, 2020

Quote from Stevie in Driving Test

David: So many boxes.
Stevie: And most of them are filled with paperwork I have to go through, so I'm just hoping I contract some deadly lung infection from the dust before I have to open another one.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Quote from Stevie in Grad Night

Johnny: Look, we are sold out. I just booked the last room.
Stevie: Are you sure you didn't put the same reservation in twice? Because you've done that before.
Johnny: No. Booked. We can now fire up the 'no' in the 'no vacancy' sign.
Stevie: Oh, yeah, that burnt out years ago. Sadly it hasn't been an issue, but maybe we could use the 'no' from the 'no refunds' sign.

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Quote from Moira in Housewarming

Moira: Well, I'm off. [baby cries]
Johnny: All right, have fun, sweetheart.
Moira: You realize the bébé is crying?
Johnny: I do, yes.
Moira: Isn't it scheduled to be dormant by now?

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Quote from Moira in Our Cup Runneth Over

Johnny: David, could you help me with the doors?!
David: It's air drying!
Moira: Pick up a hammer, and nail this coffin shut!

Monday, November 23, 2020

Quote from Moira in Meet the Parents

Alexis: Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. It's 30 seconds each, tickets in hand, or it's back of the line, and no, she will not be clarifying any Sunrise Bay plot points.
Moira: Ahem. Feet.
Alexis: Oh, yes. And if we're talking feet, it's $75 for one, $150 for the pair.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Quote from Moira in Moira's Nudes

Moira: Oh dear.
Stevie: Yeah, all those online perverts should be put in a paddle boat, and sent out to sea.
Moira: No, that's not me.
Stevie: That's your face.
Moira: Yes, it's my character from Sunrise Bay, but it's been put on the body of what I can only assume is an Indonesian lady boy.
Stevie: Ohhh! I thought maybe you just had a tan.

Upcoming Quotes

Sunday, November 29, 2020

A quote from Alexis in the episode The Roast.

Monday, November 30, 2020

A quote from Alexis in the episode Housewarming.

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

A quote from Roland in the episode Ronnie's Party.

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

A quote from Moira in the episode The Cabin.

Thursday, December 3, 2020

A quote from Moira in the episode Wine and Roses.