Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Quote from Stevie in Driving Test

David: The upside is that you are your own boss now.
Stevie: Or I'm the owner of a very sad business with one under-performing employee.

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Recent Quotes

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Quote from Moira in The Cabin

Moira: I, for one, think we should take them up on their offer.
Johnny: I can't believe what I'm hearing here. We're talking about Roland's place. Who knows what the hell we're gonna find up there?
Moira: Well, we can't share any real intimacy here in this internment camp, John, and I don't want to turn into my parents. Separate beds, separate rooms.
Johnny: Well, separate countries.
Moira: Exactly, a bad marriage.

Friday, July 1, 2022

Quote from Patrick in The Premiere

Patrick: David, I am happy with the life I've got. I'm happy with you. Things change.
David: Okay. You're a hundred percent sure you're not just saying you don't wanna have a kid, but, in actuality, you secretly do and are repressing that need... just for me?
Patrick: I don't wanna undermine the significance of this conversation, but I do wanna make it known that I was watching Bridget Jones's Baby right before I went under.
David: Okay, well that makes a little more sense then.

Thursday, June 30, 2022

Quote from Moira in Town for Sale

Johnny: People do come out of comas.
Moira: Oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now.

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Quote from Roland in A Whisper of Desire

David: Roland. You brought a baby into the store.
Roland: Shhh. Yeah. And I don't know why I haven't brought him in sooner, this place is perfect.
David: Thank you so much.
Roland: Yeah, they say that babies fall asleep quickest when they're surrounded by an eerie, almost crypt-like silence.
David: What can I do to shorten your stay in my store, Roland?
Roland: Oh, uh, Joce wanted me to pick up uh, some of this. This organic applesauce. Organic. Listen to me! Who am I? Gwyneth Paltrow?

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Quote from Roland in Maid of Honour

Roland: It is a man. Your sexist instincts were right as usual.

Monday, June 27, 2022

Quote from Alexis in Rock On!

Alexis: So what are the GRs?
David: The what?
Alexis: The ground rules. What ground rules did you lay down before you sent him off with that hottie-boom-bottie?
David: Okay, I haven't sent him off with ground rules, because this is a one-night thing.
Alexis: Did you say that?
David: No.
Alexis: So at this point he could like, spend the night, double-dip, kiss on the lips!
David: I don't know!
Alexis: Okay, this is why you have ground rules, David! Josh Groban has a thick, leather-bound binder full of them.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, July 4, 2022

A quote from Jocelyn in the episode The Drip.

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

A quote from Alexis in the episode The M.V.P..

Wednesday, July 6, 2022

A quote from Moira in the episode Moira's Nudes.

Thursday, July 7, 2022

A quote from David in the episode Rooms by the Hour.

Friday, July 8, 2022

A quote from Alexis in the episode Family Dinner.