Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Quote from David in Bad Parents

Stevie: It's just your clothes, they're all kind of funky.
David: Funky?
Stevie: Yeah. Funky.
David: Yeah, no, no, no. I'm just trying to figure out- What about this- What about this is funky? I'm just having a hard time understanding.
Stevie: It's just, you know, like funky. Different.
David: Yeah, funky is a neon t-shirt you buy at an airport gift shop, next to a bejeweled iPhone case. This- This is luxury.

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Recent Quotes

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Quote from Moira in The Presidential Suite

Moira: Oh, so you're willing to reconsider a room upgrade?
Johnny: Upgrade? Oh, I thought you were talking about a romantic weekend.
Moira: Well, we start with a weekend and go from there. You don't believe we deserve this perquisite, John? At least until we secure a way out of here.
Johnny: Moira, yeah, the room is bigger. It might even be nicer, but haven't we managed to make do here in this room over the past few years?
Moira: Yes, in the same way rogue crustaceans are known to make do in old soda cans.
Johnny: And what about the kids? We're just going to abandon them here?
Moira: They're practically middle-aged and they're not denying theirselves betterment, why should we?

Monday, February 22, 2021

Quote from Moira in Our Cup Runneth Over

Lawyer: There is a very small amount set aside for you, and one asset the government has allowed you to retain.
Moira: The kids.
Lawyer: The children are dependents, Moira.

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Quote from David in The Drip

Stevie: Um, look, I know this probably isn't your thing, but there's a tailgate party later. It's not exactly clubbing, but, you know, close.
David: I don't even know what 'tailgate' means. In my mind I'm picturing like a Klan rally.
Stevie: Yeah, just fewer pointy hats. It's just townies with un-ironic haircuts.
David: Okay. I'm gonna pass. I'm not really in the mood to be a victim of a hate crime tonight, so...

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Quote from David in Rock On!

David: Look at you, just drowning in other people's phone numbers.
Alexis: Who was that hunk with the teeny-weeny little polo?
Patrick: His name is Ken.
David: Ken! Just when I thought it was impossible to find a thirty-something named Ken!

Friday, February 19, 2021

Quote from Jocelyn in The Drip

Jocelyn: I teach high school.
Moira: Oh, you're a saint.
Jocelyn: I love it. I love connecting with the young people. Although, I know those boys are undressing me every time I drop a piece of chalk.
Roland: Yeah. Well, maybe we should hold onto our chalk, hmm?
Jocelyn: They're boys! It's cute.

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Quote from Roland in Maid of Honour

Roland: It is a man. Your sexist instincts were right as usual.

Upcoming Quotes

Thursday, February 25, 2021

A quote from Patrick in the episode The Hike.

Friday, February 26, 2021

A quote from Moira in the episode The Job Interview.

Saturday, February 27, 2021

A quote from Roland in the episode Moira Rosé.

Sunday, February 28, 2021

A quote from Patrick in the episode Dead Guy in Room 4.

Monday, March 1, 2021

A quote from David in the episode Friends & Family.