TV Quotes

Roland: You know that staycation we've been talking about? Why don't we just do that here?
Johnny: Well, Roland, that-that sounds good, but, uh, that just can't happen. As a new business owner it's dangerous to treat your assets as personal possessions.
Moira: That's my John. At Rose Video, he made me purchase the Blu-ray of my gritty feminist police drama, "Miranda Rights".
Jocelyn: I rented that three times. Miranda is so sassy when she went undercover for that wet T-shirt contest.

Bryce Wilson: [laughs] First a video store, now a motel chain. What? He wants to reinvent the pager next? [all laugh, room quiets down]
Roland: I uh... forgot my briefcase.
Tripp Campbell: Don't wanna forget that. [chuckles]
Roland: [briefcase thuds] Do you people know what it took for Johnny Rose to come back and do this? After being away for all that time? Shame on you. Shame on all of you. Okay. I just realized you guys are flying us home. So I apologize for my outburst, but I don't regret it. The man's a legend.

Johnny: Hey, look at us, son, a couple of working stiffs back from the salt mines.
David: What?
Johnny: Two men, back from the mines.
David: What mines? What's that mean?
Johnny: It's a figure of speech.
David: Um, I don't get that.
Johnny: The salt mines! Back from when people mined.
David: Uh huh.
Johnny: When miners worked in the, salt industry, they'd come home, after digging salt. I don't know what it means!

Ted: Good to see you, Mr. and Mrs. Rose. I take it that Alexis has told you the big news?
Johnny: Big news?
Alexis: Um, well, it wasn't that big a deal, but the other day at work Ted and I went to hug.
Ted: No, uh, actually I was talking about you passing your exams.
Johnny: Honey, you passed!
Moira: Oh, Alexis, what a delightful surprise. Not that I'm surprised. I had nothing but doubts. No doubts. That you could do this.

Twyla: Well, I would ask someone else, it's just that, uh, so far no one is coming.
Moira: No one's coming to your party?
Twyla: Well, in fairness, the party is still a few hours away. And some people did say that if another thing that's supposed to happen doesn't happen, then they might be able to come, so, that's good.
Moira: So as of now you have no one on your guest list?
Twyla: Well, I shouldn't have said no one. My mom will come. And she'll probably bring whoever she's dating. And he'll most likely bring some younger friend.

Alexis: He just said out of nowhere that he needs to end things.
Johnny: Oh, well, that that does seem abrupt. Wow, well maybe... Maybe that's just further confirmation that you know, he... He wasn't... He wasn't the right person for you?
Alexis: I know he's not the right person for me. His taste in make-out music, for example, like, so weird. Like, who even is Cat Stevens?!
Johnny: Well, Cat wrote some wonderful songs, honey.

Ted: Well, I can't say that reception will be as fun, but that's really generous of you, Alexis. Like, surprisingly generous.
Alexis: No, I know. So, um, I guess I should go. I have my graduation tonight, so...
Ted: Well, it's only eleven. And I am paying you for the day.
Alexis: I totally get that. I will stay until four.
Ted: Day ends at five, but sure.