Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Quote from Moira in The Hospies

Jocelyn: Okay, you're actively trying to prevent Alexis from auditioning here, and I don't want to get in the middle of some mother daughter competition thing...
Moira: Competition! Nothing of the sort. No, Alexis just doesn't have the life experience.
Jocelyn: Really? Because according to her stories...
Moira: Well, she's had her fair share of adventures, yes. But the role of Sally Bowles requires an actress who can mine a deeper, darker cave. A woman encumbered with secrets she will take with her to the tomb. Hence the high praise Gina Gershon and I received for the role.

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Recent Quotes

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Quote from Alexis in Grad Night

Alexis: Okay, another girl dropped off her resume this morning. Ted, have you read these? These are actually very impressive. There are people here who went to school specifically for vet stuff.
Ted: Yeah, well, y'know, formal training is usually encouraged.
Alexis: Well, I don't have formal training. This person's assisted with surgeries. Is that something that I should be doing?
Ted: No. God no.

Friday, September 18, 2020

Quote from Moira in The Olive Branch

Alexis: Okay, um, it's a singles night at the cafe. And the goal is, um, to get people from nearby communities together, for like romance and nibblies. And hire some staff, and dating experts, and make a whole night of it.
Moira: Darling, I realize the pickings are slim in this rural spanandry, but you can't ask Council to misuse public funds just so that you can find yourself a new boy toy.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Quote from David in The Barbecue

Patrick: You have nothing to worry about, David, and I can return these tickets to the Julia Stiles-a-thon at the drive-in tonight.
David: Let me see those.
Patrick: I agree, that might have been a little overboard.
David: Okay, first of all, let it be known that supporting Julia Stiles is never going overboard.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Quote from Twyla in Murder Mystery

Twyla: Well, I would ask someone else, it's just that, uh, so far no one is coming.
Moira: No one's coming to your party?
Twyla: Well, in fairness, the party is still a few hours away. And some people did say that if another thing that's supposed to happen doesn't happen, then they might be able to come, so, that's good.
Moira: So as of now you have no one on your guest list?
Twyla: Well, I shouldn't have said no one. My mom will come. And she'll probably bring whoever she's dating. And he'll most likely bring some younger friend.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Quote from Moira in Rooms by the Hour

Jocelyn and Twyla: From one lover to another Uh huh Islands in the stream
Moira: [singing in another language]
Jocelyn and Twyla: That is what we are
Moira: K-H-E-O-K!
Jocelyn and Twyla: No one in between How can we be wrong
Moira: [singing in another language]
Jocelyn and Twyla: Sail away with me to another world
Moira: [singing loudly in another language]
Jocelyn and Twyla: We'll be lying with each other, uh huh
Moira: Uh huh.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Quote from Moira in RIP Moira Roise

Stevie: I mean, it's pretty amazing to see how many people care about you.
Moira: Yeah.
Stevie: I mean if I died, I'd be lucky if one person had something nice to say.
Moira: Oh, Stevie. Stevie, you have years ahead of you still to collect a cartage of adoring mourners. In the meantime, they will laugh in your face, and they'll stab you in the back, but the moment you give up the ghost, oh, they'll all have nothing but nice things to say about you. I know I will.
Stevie: Thank you, Mrs. Rose. That's very comforting.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, September 21, 2020

A quote from David in the episode Happy Anniversary.

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

A quote from David in the episode Estate Sale.

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

A quote from David in the episode Stop Saying Lice!.

Thursday, September 24, 2020

A quote from Ray in the episode Don't Worry, It's His Sister.

Friday, September 25, 2020

A quote from Stevie in the episode The M.V.P..