Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day

Saturday, July 4, 2020

Quote from Moira in Rooms by the Hour

David: Hi. Um, your agent called. Do you have any safety pins?
Moira: My agent? Which one?
David: I think the assistant said her name was Jennifer?
Moira: Ginnifer? Or Jennifer with a "G?" There's more than one!
David: They sent you an email.
Moira: Is it a job?
David: I don't know, do I look like Ginnifer?!
Moira: David, your inability to retain information that doesn't directly pertain to you might actually require medical attention!

Recent Quotes

Friday, July 3, 2020

Quote from Roland in The Premiere

Roland: Hey, Alexis, this better be good. I was in the middle of a pre-show bath, and with the baby around, I only get that kind of me-time maybe five or six nights a week, so...

Thursday, July 2, 2020

Quote from Moira in Finding David

Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Quote from Moira in Moira's Nudes

Moira: You don't understand, we must find them, so we can then get rid of them! Honestly! Can no one find nude photos of me on the Internet?!

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Quote from Moira in Sunrise, Sunset

[on an old Sunrise Bay:]
Clifton Sparks: Take the pills, Vivian.
Moira: A "please" might be nice!
Clifton Sparks: You really think you'd be head of surgery at Sunrise General if you weren't possessed by your father? Who also happened to be the former head of surgery at Sunrise General?
[real life:]
Moira: Oh, enjoying the box set, are we?
Alexis: This season is weird. You're great in it, but I forgot how bad Clifton Sparks was.
Moira: Oh, it's Uncle Sparky to you, Dear.
Alexis: Also, I'm so confused. Why is Vivian the only one who gets possessed when Trystan also played the Ouija game?
Moira: Oh, suddenly she's the director.

Monday, June 29, 2020

Quote from Moira in Dead Guy in Room 4

Moira: I don't know what to do, David. The last time I felt this emotionally encumbered, I was playing Lady Macbeth on a Crystal Skies cruise ship during Shakespeare at Sea Week.

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Quote from Moira in The Throuple

Alexis: Well, you wouldn't need these if you were having lunch with David.
Moira: Oh, Alexis, please. I wasn't even sure you'd show up.
Alexis: [scoffs] Why wouldn't I show up?
Moira: You've never wanted to spend time alone with me. There, I said it.
Alexis: You never asked.
Moira: Bordeaux?! The trip I planned for the two of us?
Alexis: That was a wine tasting tour, and I was seven years old!
Moira: You could've used the spittoon. That's what the other children did.

Upcoming Quotes

Sunday, July 5, 2020

A quote from Moira in the episode RIP Moira Roise.

Monday, July 6, 2020

A quote from Moira in the episode The Hospies.

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

A quote from Alexis in the episode Moira's Nudes.

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

A quote from Ray in the episode Don't Worry, It's His Sister.

Thursday, July 9, 2020

A quote from Alexis in the episode Milk Monkey.