Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day
Sunday, July 3, 2022
Saturday, July 2, 2022
Moira: I, for one, think we should take them up on their offer.
Johnny: I can't believe what I'm hearing here. We're talking about Roland's place. Who knows what the hell we're gonna find up there?
Moira: Well, we can't share any real intimacy here in this internment camp, John, and I don't want to turn into my parents. Separate beds, separate rooms.
Johnny: Well, separate countries.
Moira: Exactly, a bad marriage.
Friday, July 1, 2022
Patrick: David, I am happy with the life I've got. I'm happy with you. Things change.
David: Okay. You're a hundred percent sure you're not just saying you don't wanna have a kid, but, in actuality, you secretly do and are repressing that need... just for me?
Patrick: I don't wanna undermine the significance of this conversation, but I do wanna make it known that I was watching Bridget Jones's Baby right before I went under.
David: Okay, well that makes a little more sense then.
Thursday, June 30, 2022
Johnny: People do come out of comas.
Moira: Oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now.
Wednesday, June 29, 2022
David: Roland. You brought a baby into the store.
Roland: Shhh. Yeah. And I don't know why I haven't brought him in sooner, this place is perfect.
David: Thank you so much.
Roland: Yeah, they say that babies fall asleep quickest when they're surrounded by an eerie, almost crypt-like silence.
David: What can I do to shorten your stay in my store, Roland?
Roland: Oh, uh, Joce wanted me to pick up uh, some of this. This organic applesauce. Organic. Listen to me! Who am I? Gwyneth Paltrow?
Tuesday, June 28, 2022
Roland: It is a man. Your sexist instincts were right as usual.
Monday, June 27, 2022
Alexis: So what are the GRs?
David: The what?
Alexis: The ground rules. What ground rules did you lay down before you sent him off with that hottie-boom-bottie?
David: Okay, I haven't sent him off with ground rules, because this is a one-night thing.
Alexis: Did you say that?
Alexis: So at this point he could like, spend the night, double-dip, kiss on the lips!
David: I don't know!
Alexis: Okay, this is why you have ground rules, David! Josh Groban has a thick, leather-bound binder full of them.
Monday, July 4, 2022
Tuesday, July 5, 2022
Wednesday, July 6, 2022
Thursday, July 7, 2022
Friday, July 8, 2022