Schitt's Creek Quote of the Day

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Quote from Alexis in Don't Worry, It's His Sister

Alexis: Um, hey! So, why do they give you table scraps? Are you, like, a poor person, or?
Mutt: Uh, no, but thanks for asking. No, I use it to compost. You know, that way nothing gets thrown out. Composting?
Alexis: Yeah, no, I I know composting. Um, Gwyneth Paltrow does a compost gift exchange.


Recent Quotes

Saturday, April 20, 2024

Quote from Moira in The Incident

Moira: Very well. Let me see what you're typing! "Big news coming soon, caw caw!" And a little yellow cartoon... winking. You know what would be fun, Alexis, let's put a beak on that winking cartoon.
Alexis: No, you can't do that.
Moira: Let me handle this, please. Okay, is it on? Can they see us?
Alexis: No, you just press "send."
Moira: Alexis, this is exciting! We have our very own digital soapbox here! It reminds me of the Nickelodeon pilot I did in which Ashley Tisdale and I played suffragettes. You remember, "You Go, Girl."

Friday, April 19, 2024

Quote from Moira in Dead Guy in Room 4

Moira: I don't know what to do, David. The last time I felt this emotionally encumbered, I was playing Lady Macbeth on a Crystal Skies cruise ship during Shakespeare at Sea Week.

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Quote from Moira in The Olive Branch

Moira: After a glut of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation. Can we feel that? It's almost as though we're building towards some sort of inevitable climax.

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Quote from Moira in Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose

Johnny: Tell me this, sweetheart, have I asked you for a lot this year?
Moira: It depends, are we talking emotionally?
Johnny: [sighs] You know, in the old days, I stood by your side no matter how you wanted to spend the holidays. Whether it was heading to Miami for Puff Daddy's Poolside White Party, or that uncomfortable tree trimming at Arnold and Maria's. How 'bout the night you wore your fur coat to the PETA Christmas Fundraiser?
Moira: I heard Peter Fundraiser. Bogdanovich loved a mink.

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Quote from Roland in The Presidential Suite

Johnny: Okay, alright, hold it up and hold it taut please.
Roland: I'm sorry, taut? [laughs] What is that, old English? How 'bout I hold it tight?

Monday, April 15, 2024

Quote from Moira in Roadkill

Johnny: Well, maybe a professional massage might help ease Baby's pain.
Baby: I like massages.
Moira: So, now you're taking bébé to the spa?
Johnny: No, I wouldn't be taking her, Moira, but maybe Baby can take her, uh, grandmother.
Wife: I'm her mother!
Johnny: Yes, well that.
Moira: Yes, you are! And you are going to adore the rejuvenating facial peel.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, April 22, 2024

A quote from Moira in the episode Dead Guy in Room 4.

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

A quote from Moira in the episode The Hospies.

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

A quote from Bob in the episode Jazzagals.

Thursday, April 25, 2024

A quote from David in the episode Sebastien Raine.

Friday, April 26, 2024

A quote from Ray in the episode The Presidential Suite.