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The Cabin

‘The Cabin’

Season 1, Episode 5 - Aired February 3, 2015

Unable to enjoy a moment of privacy at the motel, Johnny and Moira are offered Roland's cabin for the weekend. Meanwhile, Alexis tries to make the most of her parents' absence by throwing a party, despite David's reluctance.

Quote from Moira

Alexis: Um, why don't you guys stay at the cabin for longer?
Moira: Oh, I would never just abandon you two in a motel in the middle of nowhere.
David: Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from preschool?
Moira: Alexis looked Chinese as an infant. How many times must I defend myself?


Quote from Alexis

Alexis: David, I just- I miss my life! And I miss doing things. And I miss being surrounded by loose acquaintances who think that I'm funny, and smart, and charming. Will you? Just a few people. Please. You can't tell me that you don't wanna hang out with people other than me.
David: Obviously.

Quote from Stevie

David: Obviously they need to be funny, and smart, and have well-rounded sense of humour and a wide range of knowledge.
Stevie: Oh, all those types of people move away from here.
David: That's funny.
Stevie: No, I'm serious.

Quote from Moira

Moira: This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage. I was half expecting early unibomber.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Actually, I have a good feeling about this, John.
Johnny: You know, I'm starting to get a pretty good feeling myself.
Moira: Are you?
David: [entering] Oh, my God! Am I being punished for something?
Moira: David, are you dirty Peeping Tom?
David: I don't think parenting books would approve of you saying that to me.

Quote from Moira

Moira: I, for one, think we should take them up on their offer.
Johnny: I can't believe what I'm hearing here. We're talking about Roland's place. Who knows what the hell we're gonna find up there?
Moira: Well, we can't share any real intimacy here in this internment camp, John, and I don't want to turn into my parents. Separate beds, separate rooms.
Johnny: Well, separate countries.
Moira: Exactly, a bad marriage.

Quote from Bob

Johnny: And once again, my apologies.
Moira: And I'm sorry, I don't know how to make a bed.
Johnny: And I may have damaged your corkscrew, Bob.
Bob: You broke it in half.
Johnny: Okay, the door, it won't open. The door won't open.
Bob: It's locked.
Johnny: Oh, it's locked.
Moira: What do you want from us?
Bob: Yes, it's it's locked to prevent strangers from coming into the cabin. See, uh, we didn't realize that, uh, strangers would already be in the cabin when we locked it.

Quote from Moira

Alexis: Ew! Ew! Ew!
Moira: I hate to be the one to tell you, but having sex is not just about making children so they can grow up and make you feel bad about having sex.
Alexis: Oh, my God, can you stop this please?!
Moira: I will not be shamed. Shame on you.

Quote from Roland

Moira: Thank you so much for the loan of your cabin and your truck.
Roland: Looks like you folks got a lot of gear here, huh? Is that the tickle trunk?
Johnny: It's just clothes.
Roland: Yeah, okay, but just keep in mind there's only 60 amp service there, so don't be pluggin' a lot of gadgets in all at once, if you know what I mean.
Moira: Yet another disturbing look into his world.

Quote from Stevie

Stevie: What about Sarah? She's cute and speaks English. Hmm?
David: Mm. She get it?
Stevie: Get what?
David: Like "get it" get it. It, like the vibe. Understand that games night needs to run a certain way, otherwise it won't work.
Stevie: Can I be on your team? You sound really fun.

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