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‘Sebastien Raine’ Quotes

Schitt's Creek: Sebastien Raine

310. Sebastien Raine

Aired March 14, 2017

Moira agrees to be photographed by an ex-lover of David's. Meanwhile, Alexis volunteers with Ted at a senior center, and Johnny joins Bob's poker game.

Quote from David

Alexis: Remember when he dumped you? And you ate all those mall pretzels, and watched "Bridget Jones's Diary" every day for a year.
David: It wasn't a whole year, and I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.

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Quote from David

David: I think he's coming. So could you please go to the window and check for me?
Stevie: Who's he?
David: Uh, Sebastien Raine. He's most likely wearing a very expensive sweater, that doesn't look very expensive.
Stevie: Is he like, really-
David: Really handsome in a homeless-y way sort of way? Yes.

Quote from Roland

Bob: I'll go see if Gwen's has any more of these bacon-wrapped scallops.
Roland: Yeah, I guess it's another trip to Bob's laundromat, right? You know, because he keeps taking us to the cleaners.
Ronnie: Yeah, we get it, Roland.

Quote from David

Moira: You're aware of the extraordinary work of New York-Based photographer Sebastien Raine?
David: You mean my ex?
Moira: When did you date Sebastien Raine?
Alexis: They dated for like a month and a half and David got very upset about it.
David: Okay, It was almost three months. Four, if you include the month that he was seeing other people. And you met him through me.
Moira: That's nonsense. I met Sebastien Raine at an art opening years ago.
David: At my gallery. And can you please stop saying his full name. He's a monster, who uses people, and leaves them for dead.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Yeah. I hate to play contrarian, David, but The Times and I, both consider Sebastien Raine a dear friend.

Quote from Alexis

Ted: Well, I might have something for you but I don't think you're going to be interested.
Alexis: Try me.
Ted: Well, I work with some seniors a couple times a month.
Alexis: Wow. So cute. Um, it's just I have a thing with skin tags and old smells. So I might just need to think on it.
Ted: Well, tonight's gonna be fun though, dance lessons!
Alexis: [fake elated gasp] We'd have to touch them.

Quote from Roland

Roland: Sit! Okay. Now act like you're talking to me.
Johnny: I am talking to you.
Roland: No. Not like that. It's got to be more conversational. You know, like, um "Yes the weather is cold."
Johnny: Okay, I'm not following.
Roland: Okay, that's better. But try it a little more casually.
Johnny: What is going on?
Roland: Bob is trying to get his poker night together again and he wants me to play. And I can't afford it.
Johnny: Well then just say no, politely decline.
Roland: Well that's not gonna work, Johnny. Tell him that we're doing something together tonight, okay? Tell him you're taking me for a haircut tonight.

Quote from Roland

Johnny: I just think it'd be interesting to see what happens if Gwen wasn't around for the next hand.
Roland: Ah. Like if she had an "accident" or something?
Johnny: I don't mean bump her off, Roland. I mean, if she's not here, if she had to go to the store.

Quote from Alexis

Ted: Mind if I cut in?
Alexis: Oh, yeah. But I'm also happy to keep dancing with one of them.
Ted: No, I meant I could dance with Joan. Just the ladies get pretty upset if I don't divide my time between them.
Alexis: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, well, then I will dance with Dot.
Dot: I would rather dance with the Swiffer.

Quote from Bob

Bob: You thought we were cheating?
Johnny: No! No, I-
Bob: No offence, but I don't need to cheat to beat any of you.
Ronnie: It's just, you win a lot, Bob.
Bob: And there's a reason for that. Listen now Ronnie, when you- When you have a good hand, you close your cards real quick. And Ray, when you've got a bad hand, you start tapping your foot. And Johnny, your right eyebrow kind of just pops up. And Roland... Well, you know, I don't even know if you know the rules.
Roland: I don't know all of them. No.
Bob: Well, you know, truth is we put most of the winnings towards the snacks that Gwen serves up. We thought it was kind of a special evening for everyone.

Quote from Ray

Ray: In my defensive, I didn't believed any of this, Bob. [foot tapping] Gwen is very trustworthy.
Johnny: Ray, you're tapping your foot.
Ray: Okay.

Quote from David

Moira: David?!
David: Um, yes, Sebastien and I just had some um, stuff that we needed to talk about.
Moira: Well, I'm having a hard time landing on surprise or betrayal.
David: Yeah, I should probably go. So...
Moira: Give me the memory card, Sebastien.
Sebastien Raine: Moira, I'm scared for us.
David: Oh, you mean this memory card? Yeah, I'd give it back, but I don't think it'll be of much use to you. It accidentally fell out of your camera into my hand last night. And then fell out of my hand into my drink. And then I stepped on it a lot. So... It was really good to see you, Sebastien. Good luck with the rest of this project.

Quote from Bob

Roland: Okay, folks, we're going to start with something a little different tonight. The game is called crazy eights. And the diamond shaped things are wild.
Ronnie: Roland, shush.
Johnny: Well, I'm just glad we're back here again, and that we could put all that unpleasantness behind us.
Ronnie: Gwen, these Teriyaki meatballs they're delicious.
Johnny: Wow and those sliders look incredible.
Bob: Those aren't for you.


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