Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Sebastien Raine’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Schitt's Creek: Sebastien Raine

310. Sebastien Raine

Aired March 14, 2017

Moira agrees to be photographed by an ex-lover of David's. Meanwhile, Alexis volunteers with Ted at a senior center, and Johnny joins Bob's poker game.

Quote from David

Alexis: Remember when he dumped you? And you ate all those mall pretzels, and watched "Bridget Jones's Diary" every day for a year.
David: It wasn't a whole year, and I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.


Quote from David

David: I think he's coming. So could you please go to the window and check for me?
Stevie: Who's he?
David: Uh, Sebastien Raine. He's most likely wearing a very expensive sweater, that doesn't look very expensive.
Stevie: Is he like, really-
David: Really handsome in a homeless-y way sort of way? Yes.

Quote from Roland

Bob: I'll go see if Gwen's has any more of these bacon-wrapped scallops.
Roland: Yeah, I guess it's another trip to Bob's laundromat, right? You know, because he keeps taking us to the cleaners.
Ronnie: Yeah, we get it, Roland.

Quote from David

Moira: You're aware of the extraordinary work of New York-Based photographer Sebastien Raine?
David: You mean my ex?
Moira: When did you date Sebastien Raine?
Alexis: They dated for like a month and a half and David got very upset about it.
David: Okay, It was almost three months. Four, if you include the month that he was seeing other people. And you met him through me.
Moira: That's nonsense. I met Sebastien Raine at an art opening years ago.
David: At my gallery. And can you please stop saying his full name. He's a monster, who uses people, and leaves them for dead.

Quote from Alexis

Ted: Well, I might have something for you but I don't think you're going to be interested.
Alexis: Try me.
Ted: Well, I work with some seniors a couple times a month.
Alexis: Wow. So cute. Um, it's just I have a thing with skin tags and old smells. So I might just need to think on it.
Ted: Well, tonight's gonna be fun though, dance lessons!
Alexis: [fake elated gasp] We'd have to touch them.

Quote from Roland

Roland: Sit! Okay. Now act like you're talking to me.
Johnny: I am talking to you.
Roland: No. Not like that. It's got to be more conversational. You know, like, um "Yes the weather is cold."
Johnny: Okay, I'm not following.
Roland: Okay, that's better. But try it a little more casually.
Johnny: What is going on?
Roland: Bob is trying to get his poker night together again and he wants me to play. And I can't afford it.
Johnny: Well then just say no, politely decline.
Roland: Well that's not gonna work, Johnny. Tell him that we're doing something together tonight, okay? Tell him you're taking me for a haircut tonight.

Quote from Roland

Johnny: I just think it'd be interesting to see what happens if Gwen wasn't around for the next hand.
Roland: Ah. Like if she had an "accident" or something?
Johnny: I don't mean bump her off, Roland. I mean, if she's not here, if she had to go to the store.

Quote from Alexis

Ted: Mind if I cut in?
Alexis: Oh, yeah. But I'm also happy to keep dancing with one of them.
Ted: No, I meant I could dance with Joan. Just the ladies get pretty upset if I don't divide my time between them.
Alexis: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, well, then I will dance with Dot.
Dot: I would rather dance with the Swiffer.

Quote from Bob

Bob: You thought we were cheating?
Johnny: No! No, I-
Bob: No offence, but I don't need to cheat to beat any of you.
Ronnie: It's just, you win a lot, Bob.
Bob: And there's a reason for that. Listen now Ronnie, when you- When you have a good hand, you close your cards real quick. And Ray, when you've got a bad hand, you start tapping your foot. And Johnny, your right eyebrow kind of just pops up. And Roland... Well, you know, I don't even know if you know the rules.
Roland: I don't know all of them. No.
Bob: Well, you know, truth is we put most of the winnings towards the snacks that Gwen serves up. We thought it was kind of a special evening for everyone.

Quote from Ray

Ray: In my defensive, I didn't believed any of this, Bob. [foot tapping] Gwen is very trustworthy.
Johnny: Ray, you're tapping your foot.
Ray: Okay.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode