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‘Lawn Signs’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Schitt's Creek: Lawn Signs

212. Lawn Signs

Aired March 22, 2016

Dirty politics are suspected when Moira's lawn signs go missing. Meanwhile, David helps his boss negotiate a settlement with an international competitor.

Quote from Moira

Johnny: You took your signs? I didn't know you took the signs. Why would you take your own signs?
Moira: Well, I couldn't very well take Jocelyn's. That would be stealing and I'm running a clean campaign.
Johnny: You call this a clean campaign?
Moira: Politics 101, John. When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir. It's exciting. It's fun. It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay when I stole my own bébé.

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Quote from Alexis

Alexis: Okay, I just really think you should stay out of it, David. You're not good under pressure.
David: And you are?
Alexis: Um, I'm sorry. Were you picked up by the South Korean Secret Police on New Year's? I had to sweet talk the consulate's lawyer to get me a passport before midnight.

Quote from Twyla

Moira: Ugh! My campaign signs have gone missing.
Johnny: What?
Twyla: You had election signs?
Moira: Yes! All of them! Gone!
Twyla: Wow. Maybe people were mowing their lawns.
Johnny: Well, it's probably just kids.
Moira: What if there's a more sinister explanation?
Twyla: Oh, like the wind.

Quote from David

Wendy: Well, it's already happening. They're coming in this week, they're bringing the paperwork.
David: As your brand manager, I feel like I need to be at that meeting.
Wendy: I don't know.
David: At least let me talk to a few people before you decide. If there's one thing I've learned from "The Good Wife", it's never accept a first offer.

Quote from Johnny

David: Okay, well, say you owned Blouse Barn.
Johnny: Well, first of all, I'd never get into the clothing business 'cause the margins are terrible-
David: Okay, let's pretend for a sec. And someone was offering you $10,000 to stop using the name because there's another Blouse Barn in Australia and they need the name.
Johnny: $10,000 to stop using the name "Blouse Barn?"
David: That's correct.
Johnny: I would take that in a second. It's a terrible name.
David: Okay, but that's not-
Johnny: Now, at least with "Rose Video," it said what it was, and the logo looked great on a golf shirt.

Quote from Alexis

Wendy: Oh, hi. I'm Wendy Kurtz. Welcome to the Blouse Barn.
Lisa Chung: Lisa Chung. I didn't realize there were gonna be more of us.
Alexis: We're her representation.
David: David Rose.
Alexis: Angelica Bloomfield of Rose, Bloomfield and Glickman.

Quote from Alexis

Lisa Chung: This should cover the cost of the signs, business cards-
Alexis: About the cheque.
David: [clears throat] We had some questions about the amount.
Lisa Chung: Well, you shouldn't. $10,000 is the amount we agreed upon.
David: Well, that may be, but some things have changed on our side, and we want to discuss the-
Wendy: I think it's fine, David.
Alexis: From a legal standpoint, there are lots of costs to consider. There are the signs and the business cards-
Lisa Chung: I just mentioned those.
Alexis: Objection sustained.

Quote from David

Johnny: This is terrible news. I thought you were turning that store around. All those big purchases, all that spending...
David: Okay, let's just focus on the big picture, which is helping the store.
Johnny: Well, if you wanna help the store, I would tell your boss to take the deal. And then you and I are gonna sit down, update your resume, and get you back into the workforce.
David: Okay. Well, thank you so much for this. Um, it was entirely unhelpful, but thank you nevertheless.
Johnny: Well anytime, son.

Quote from David

Wendy: David, to be honest, I'm having a little trouble financially and I'm gonna have to let you go.
David: What?
Wendy: It seems I have overshot my budget with the changes you've been implementing. Which is not your fault. You were my mistake, which I take full credit for.
David: Okay, I thought you were liking the changes I was making. We just sold another poncho yesterday.
Wendy: I still can't believe we even sold one. But that's not gonna help me when I am down to a Costco card and a zoo membership.

Quote from Moira

Moira: I've been hijacked.
Johnny: What?
Moira: My campaign has been hijacked. Oh, I need some tea. Twyla?
Johnny: What's going on?
Twyla: Tea?
Moira: No, thank you.

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