David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!

Alexis: Okay, so if there's one thing I learned, is that when it comes to love you cannot let little things get in your way. Like I once dated this sultan's nephew who was forbidden to talk to me or even to look at me and we made it work for, like, half a regime change, so...

Moira: Equality. Freedom. Marriage. These are the rights of every community, and even more specifically, the business community. No faction of society deserves to be discriminated against, especially women who are in business faction. One of my top priorities will be to... To change people's misguided and ignorant perceptions of women like you. You did not choose this life! No, each one of you was born to be an entrepreneur.

Moira: Why don't I open up the floor to some of your concerns?
Karen: I want to elect someone who understands the pressures of working and raising a family.
Moira: Very nice, yes. I love that. Working and..?
Karen: Raising a family.
Moira: And raising a family. Well, John, my husband will back me up on this, I had a six-and-a-half season career as an actress in television, which I put on hold to devote all my time and energy to raise two million dollars for charity.
Johnny: And two children.
Moira: Oh, yes, and two children. Hmm? And on top of that, I managed a staff of twelve.
Audrey: You ran your own business?
Moira: Household staff, yes.

Karen: Ronnie says you've only lived here a year?
Moira: That's true, Ronnie, thank you, but I am a quick study. Karen, I learned tonight that you run a gravel business, yes, and you, Audrey, you manage a team of accountants, and you, Tara, you're very concerned about your inverted nipples. Which I assumed was public domain. There were a lot of you around when she told me.

Johnny: Oh, just continue on inside.
Roland: Well, I hope we didn't catch the two of you with your pants down.
Jocelyn: Oh.
Roland: I'm just joking, I can see they're on. No, we actually listened outside to make sure.

Moira: Those two are not as simple minded as we thought.
Johnny: He is.

Ted: You know, I have to say that I'm impressed. It's not everyone who can tell an old woman that her cat is dead, and set up a love connection, and sell our most expensive marble urn in the same three-minute conversation.

Alexis: Hey! Sorry I'm a bit late. Um, I wasn't sure what the etiquette was for this kind of thing, so I walked around the block a little bit.
Ted: Oh, you can show up early, or on time. Early is probably even better.

Alexis: David, Ted said that I had to wear scrubs, but what does that mean really?
David: Um, I think it means you have to wear scrubs.
Alexis: Ugh. I know but look at me.
David: You look amazing.
Alexis: Who designs these things?! Whatever happened to empowering women's sexuality?
David: I don't think sex appeal is the guiding principle behind nursing uniforms.
Alexis: Obviously you've never been out for Halloween, David.