Patrick: I've actually seen a few photos of this place, it looks pretty good.
David: Yeah, the facade would indicate otherwise, but I trust you on this.
Patrick: Oh. You know, when I moved here and got a room with Ray, I didn't know how long I was gonna be staying.
David: Mmm-hmm.
Patrick: And now here we are.
Ray: For me this is bittersweet because on the one hand, I could lose you as a roommate, Patrick, but on the other, I would gain the commission.

Johnny: So, this is the town limits?
Ray: Yes, sir. 4,500 acres that ends right here at the town sign. And it's all yours, Johnny. It must be a nice feeling, considering you don't have a lot right now. You know, because of the crooked business manager. You know, the money scandal-
Johnny: Yes, I know, I know, I know, Ray.

Ray: So what can I help you with, housing, investment opportunities?
Moira: Mr. Rose and I would like to put a for sale sign on this incredible town.
Johnny: We're willing to settle for what we paid for it. More if you can get it, but definitely not less.
Ray: Well, I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm not super optimistic. You know, because the government saw no value in Schitt's Creek. You know, when they repossessed your assets. You know, because of the humiliating-
Johnny: Yes, we know. We know. We know.

Ray: And sold! To Johnny Rose, for the price of $15 dollars. Which, uh, I hope you can afford. You know, considering your financial situation.
Johnny: Yeah, I get it, Ray. I get it. I get it. I've got cash, and I'd just like my cufflinks, please.

Moira: I'm hoping to take my complaint to council, and I've been told you'd be the easiest one to crack.
Ray: Too kind. And I'd be happy to help.
Moira: Excellent!
Ray: But unfortunately, I'm no longer on the town council. I resigned a few weeks ago, too overwhelmed with my businesses. But, uh, you're more than welcome to take it to council yourself, with my endorsement. Which won't really help, since I resigned. Um, and council wasn't too happy about it. I'm surprised you didn't hear, I talked about it extensively on my podcast.
Moira: I don't know how I missed that.

Ray: Oh, okay, okay. I think I know what all the hesitation is about. Yes, someone did take their own life in this space, but the good news is, we've replaced the ceiling fan, it's now a break-away model. And to answer your question, yes, there is parking. Uh, oh, and they also allow cats.

Ray: Oh, hi, Patrick, I almost didn't recognize you, you look like one of those people who has that skin condition from eating one too many carrots.

Ray: As you can see, it's light and breezy. And by breezy, I mean there's a slight but steady draft I'm told you only notice in the winter.

Ray: Maybe we should discuss this at a later date, or, um, when Mr. Rose has left the room.
Johnny: Well, I'm not leaving, and Stevie's not selling.
Stevie: I might be selling. I-I can't do this on my own, so.
Johnny: Well, maybe not on your own, but, um, what if you had a partner?
Ray: Stevie, as your agent, I would advise against partnering with somebody who has no capital, no contacts, no industry experience.
Johnny: Well, thank you, Ray, but I did run a big corporation, and I'm perfectly capable of handling this. And I think it's something I wanna do.
Ray: Oh well, this is all very exciting. However, if any of this falls through for any reason, perhaps one of the ones I mentioned, then do give me a call.

Patrick: Fireplace?
David: Yeah, which I'm sure would heat the room quite quickly, considering it's just one big open space.
Patrick: I like the exposed brick. It's actually a pretty decent size.
David: Yeah. Speaking of size, Ray, I've yet to see a closet. Is there a is there a walk-in that I'm missing?
Ray: Oh, the closet is right over here. This is what small-space realtors refer to as, a "step-in" closet.