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‘Grad Night’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Schitt's Creek: Grad Night

313. Grad Night

Aired April 4, 2017

Alexis asks her family not to attend her high school graduation. David celebrates his birthday with Patrick when his family forget all about it. Meanwhile, the Jazzagals book a gig and Johnny sells out the motel.

Quote from Moira

Moira: We're all pitching in these days, dear. Like communists or non-union actors.

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Quote from Patrick

David: This is the first gift I haven't bought myself in a very long time. So, thank you.
Patrick: You're gonna be so underwhelmed when you open it. Trust me. It's not- See. It's nothing.
Stevie: What is it?
Patrick: Uh, it's just the, um, receipt from our first sale at the store.
David: Um, this is not nothing. So, thank you.

Quote from Stevie

Johnny: Look, we are sold out. I just booked the last room.
Stevie: Are you sure you didn't put the same reservation in twice? Because you've done that before.
Johnny: No. Booked. We can now fire up the 'no' in the 'no vacancy' sign.
Stevie: Oh, yeah, that burnt out years ago. Sadly it hasn't been an issue, but maybe we could use the 'no' from the 'no refunds' sign.

Quote from Twyla

Jocelyn: Sorry, gals. I just got caught up on the phone. I have good news and, and some bad news.
Twyla: Oh. Is the bad news that there is no good news? My aunt used to play this game with me a lot.

Quote from Patrick

David: I almost didn't see you there through the mad rush of the Friday night dinner crowd.
Patrick: I'm just so relieved that I made a reservation.
David: Yes. Well, you look very nice.
Patrick: Oh, thanks. Well, you know, I assumed that the cafe would have a dinner jacket policy and I didn't wanna wear one of theirs.

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: Okay, another girl dropped off her resume this morning. Ted, have you read these? These are actually very impressive. There are people here who went to school specifically for vet stuff.
Ted: Yeah, well, y'know, formal training is usually encouraged.
Alexis: Well, I don't have formal training. This person's assisted with surgeries. Is that something that I should be doing?
Ted: No. God no.

Quote from Alexis

Ted: Well, I can't say that reception will be as fun, but that's really generous of you, Alexis. Like, surprisingly generous.
Alexis: No, I know. So, um, I guess I should go. I have my graduation tonight, so...
Ted: Well, it's only eleven. And I am paying you for the day.
Alexis: I totally get that. I will stay until four.
Ted: Day ends at five, but sure.

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: I'm really glad you're here.
Ted: Me too.
Alexis: I'm gonna have to look at those photos before you share them or post them.
Ted: Yeah. Of course.

Quote from Roland

Johnny: Roland, I've been waiting here all night for Damien Steele. It's David's birthday, Alexis is graduating.
Roland: See, Johnny, the mayor of this town can't use his real name to check into a love motel.
Johnny: Yeah, it's not a love motel, Roland.
Roland: Oh, it will be tonight, my friend. See, Jocelyn and I have a yearly tradition. Every grad night we like to pretend to be other people, if you know what I mean.
Johnny: Yeah, you just told me what you mean.
Roland: Oh, we've been doing this ever since our own grad night. If you catch my drift.
Johnny: Yeah, I caught your drift when you told me what you mean.
Roland: So when Jos shows up and she says her name is Lisa Meriweather, just roll with it, okay?
Johnny: Here is your key, Roland.
Roland: Okay. Damien.

Quote from Patrick

David: Well, that was a fun night.
Patrick: I'm really glad that I decided to invest in your business, David.
David: That is really lovely thing to say.
Patrick: "And I'm so glad you did, Patrick, because you've really helped to turn it into the success that it is."
David: Hmm. A bold claim. [David kisses Patrick]
Patrick: Thank you.
David: For what?
Patrick: Um, I've never done that before with a guy.
David: Okay.
Patrick: Yeah. And uh, [chuckle], I was getting a little scared that I was gonna let you leave here without us having done that. So, uh, thank you for, um, making that happen for us.

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