Schitt's Creek - Moira Quote #636
Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.
Features in the collection: Moira Rose Bebe Quotes.
Johnny: You took your signs? I didn't know you took the signs. Why would you take your own signs?
Moira: Well, I couldn't very well take Jocelyn's. That would be stealing and I'm running a clean campaign.
Johnny: You call this a clean campaign?
Moira: Politics 101, John. When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir. It's exciting. It's fun. It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay when I stole my own bébé.
Moira: It's just flagrant irresponsibility! To allow an unscheduled conception to occur!
Moira: Oh, she has no idea of the toll a bébé can take on its mother, or its mother's mother.
Moira: [sniffles] Good... [voice breaks] Good evening, everyone, welcome to the marriage of Patrick Brewer and David... [voice breaks] David Rose. We are gathered here today to celebrate the love between two people, whose lives were ostensibly brought together by the fated flap of a butterfly wing. It is all but impossible to explain why things happen the way they do. Our lives are like little bébé crows, carried upon a curious wind. And all we can wish, for our families, for those we love, is that that wind will eventually places us on solid ground. And I believe it's done just that for my family here. In this little town. In the middle of nowhere.
Quote from David
David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Okay, well maybe there's something we can do.
Moira: Does bébé enjoy the theater?
Moira: How about two complimentary, partially-obstructed view seats to Cabaret?
Wife: No! She likes the Kinky Shoes.
Baby: You got tickets to Kinky Shoes?
Moira: I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no.
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Well, maybe a professional massage might help ease Baby's pain.
Baby: I like massages.
Moira: So, now you're taking bébé to the spa?
Johnny: No, I wouldn't be taking her Moira, but maybe Baby can take her, uh, grandmother.
Wife: I'm her mother!
Johnny: Yes, well that.
Moira: Yes, you are! And you are going to adore the rejuvenating facial peel.
Quote from The Olive Branch
Moira: After a glut of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation. Can we feel that? It's almost as though we're building towards some sort of inevitable climax.
Quote from New Car
Moira: [in a Cockney accent] The truth is that, um, we've- We've struggled with penury for quite some time now. Well, just two years ago, we were practically 'omeless.
Car Salesman: Where are you two from?
Johnny: You know, I've been wondering that myself.
Moira: I'm from London. I was one of two identical twins. Tragically, I was snatched from my crib at birth by Russian mobsters. Mmm-hmm. They looked at my fair skin, and my dazzling eyes, and they said, "We'll make a pretty penny on that one, on the 'uman black market, we will."
Car Salesman: And what about the twin?
Moira: What's that, love?
Car Salesman: Well, if you're identical, I thought you'd both be valuable.
Johnny: Yes, wouldn't you?
Moira: She wasn't born yet. Yep, she wasn't born 'til three minutes later. And the Bratva work very quickly.
Quote from The Hike
Roland: Wow, Johnny, are you okay?
Moira: How long has this affliction been operative?
Johnny: Yeah, I felt a little tightening this morning, Moira, when I picked up that box of programs from the printer's, but I'm good.
Moira: John, how was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!