Moira: Alexis! Do I have news...
Alexis: Okay, thank God you're here because I have so many questions. Like, why did they kill off your character after you had just given birth to your ninth child and escaped from the cave with the secret about your lover...
Moira: Who was a ghost, yes.
Alexis: And then they killed off in like the most humiliating way.
Moira: I'm not sure I call it humiliating.
Alexis: You vomited a demon into a toilet, and then fell in and drowned.
Moira: Well, the writers insisted it was symbolic.

Clifton Sparks: Hey. Remember how you entered that time machine you discovered in the hospital's broom closet? Season Three? What if we bring you back that way?
Moira: [chuckles] It's not easy to disremember my final demise. It was even more vicious than Vivian's getting trampled while honeymooning in Pamplona.

Moira: Oh, Alexis, has our quarantine been lifted?
Alexis: Yeah, I was scared I was gonna get bed sores, so I'm going for a run. Also, I needed to, like, cleanse my brain a bit. 'Cause eight hours of watching Sunrise Bay made me feel a little not-right in the head.
Moira: It had that effect. The New England Journal of Medicine did a fascinating study on it.

Moira: Look at you, John, doling out gift after gift this morning like the Turkish Saint Nikolaas. I'll just have the fruit cup to go, please. I must attend to some good news of my own.

Stevie: I went to school with a guy who starts "accidental" fires. I mean, worse comes to worst, we could collect the insurance money.
Johnny: Okay. We're not burning anything down and we're not selling any organs.

Johnny: We're knee-deep in this now. We're just have to figure out where we're gonna find the money.
Roland: Okay. That's good, because Bruce told me my kidney was garbage.

[on an old Sunrise Bay:]
Clifton Sparks: Take the pills, Vivian.
Moira: A "please" might be nice!
Clifton Sparks: You really think you'd be head of surgery at Sunrise General if you weren't possessed by your father? Who also happened to be the former head of surgery at Sunrise General?
[real life:]
Moira: Oh, enjoying the box set, are we?
Alexis: This season is weird. You're great in it, but I forgot how bad Clifton Sparks was.
Moira: Oh, it's Uncle Sparky to you, Dear.
Alexis: Also, I'm so confused. Why is Vivian the only one who gets possessed when Trystan also played the Ouija game?
Moira: Oh, suddenly she's the director.

Tippy Bernstein: Listen, what do you say we all take a load off because this standing thing is not all it's cracked up to be.
Moira: Cliffy! Cliffy, I have not seen you since you starred in that electrifying courtroom drama about the potty-mouthed, feral child.
Clifton Sparks: Oh, that was an actual court case. My daughter wanted to emancipate and the press couldn't get enough.
Moira: Lucky you!

Moira: No, Alexis I came here to tell you something... I've been asked to resuscitate Vivian so that she may live again in a prime-time reboot.
Alexis: Is Clifton involved?
Moira: Alexis, he drove all this way just to personally beg me to acquiesce.
Alexis: Hm. Of course he did. You're the only person in the show making headlines right now.
Moira: That's not true. Adriana had that DUI last year. Popped a breast, poor dear.

Tippy Bernstein: Oh, would you look at this. I'm getting texts from Nicole's office. Serves me right for sharing EP credit. These people...
Moira: I'm guessing Clifton was also responsible for my name being repeatedly left off the Daytime Emmy ballot?
Tippy Bernstein: No, we submitted you every year. And-and that season that you played your own brother we submitted you for Best Actress and Actor.
Clifton Sparks: You did what?