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‘Sunrise, Sunset’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Schitt's Creek: Sunrise, Sunset

610. Sunrise, Sunset

Aired March 10, 2020

Moira's former Sunrise Bay producer Tippy Bernstein (guest star Saul Rubinek) and co-star Clifton Sparks (guest star Victor Garber) visit Schitt's Creek with a proposal for her. Meanwhile, Alexis goes on a Sunrise Bay binge watch, and Johnny struggles to find the money to fix up the new motel and cater David's wedding.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Alexis! Do I have news...
Alexis: Okay, thank God you're here because I have so many questions. Like, why did they kill off your character after you had just given birth to your ninth child and escaped from the cave with the secret about your lover...
Moira: Who was a ghost, yes.
Alexis: And then they killed off in like the most humiliating way.
Moira: I'm not sure I call it humiliating.
Alexis: You vomited a demon into a toilet, and then fell in and drowned.
Moira: Well, the writers insisted it was symbolic.

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Quote from Moira

Clifton Sparks: Hey. Remember how you entered that time machine you discovered in the hospital's broom closet? Season Three? What if we bring you back that way?
Moira: [chuckles] It's not easy to disremember my final demise. It was even more vicious than Vivian's getting trampled while honeymooning in Pamplona.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Oh, Alexis, has our quarantine been lifted?
Alexis: Yeah, I was scared I was gonna get bed sores, so I'm going for a run. Also, I needed to, like, cleanse my brain a bit. 'Cause eight hours of watching Sunrise Bay made me feel a little not-right in the head.
Moira: It had that effect. The New England Journal of Medicine did a fascinating study on it.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Look at you, John, doling out gift after gift this morning like the Turkish Saint Nikolaas. I'll just have the fruit cup to go, please. I must attend to some good news of my own.

Quote from Roland

Johnny: How are we gonna cover these costs?
Roland: Well, I gave one of my kidneys to my cousin Bruce. Uh, we can see how I run on an empty tank.

Quote from Stevie

Stevie: I went to school with a guy who starts "accidental" fires. I mean, worse comes to worst, we could collect the insurance money.
Johnny: Okay. We're not burning anything down and we're not selling any organs.

Quote from Roland

Johnny: We're knee-deep in this now. We're just have to figure out where we're gonna find the money.
Roland: Okay. That's good, because Bruce told me my kidney was garbage.

Quote from Moira

[on an old Sunrise Bay:]
Clifton Sparks: Take the pills, Vivian.
Moira: A "please" might be nice!
Clifton Sparks: You really think you'd be head of surgery at Sunrise General if you weren't possessed by your father? Who also happened to be the former head of surgery at Sunrise General?
[real life:]
Moira: Oh, enjoying the box set, are we?
Alexis: This season is weird. You're great in it, but I forgot how bad Clifton Sparks was.
Moira: Oh, it's Uncle Sparky to you, Dear.
Alexis: Also, I'm so confused. Why is Vivian the only one who gets possessed when Trystan also played the Ouija game?
Moira: Oh, suddenly she's the director.

Quote from Moira

Tippy Bernstein: Listen, what do you say we all take a load off because this standing thing is not all it's cracked up to be.
Moira: Cliffy! Cliffy, I have not seen you since you starred in that electrifying courtroom drama about the potty-mouthed, feral child.
Clifton Sparks: Oh, that was an actual court case. My daughter wanted to emancipate and the press couldn't get enough.
Moira: Lucky you!

Quote from Moira

Moira: No, Alexis I came here to tell you something... I've been asked to resuscitate Vivian so that she may live again in a prime-time reboot.
Alexis: Is Clifton involved?
Moira: Alexis, he drove all this way just to personally beg me to acquiesce.
Alexis: Hm. Of course he did. You're the only person in the show making headlines right now.
Moira: That's not true. Adriana had that DUI last year. Popped a breast, poor dear.

Quote from Moira

Tippy Bernstein: Oh, would you look at this. I'm getting texts from Nicole's office. Serves me right for sharing EP credit. These people...
Moira: I'm guessing Clifton was also responsible for my name being repeatedly left off the Daytime Emmy ballot?
Tippy Bernstein: No, we submitted you every year. And-and that season that you played your own brother we submitted you for Best Actress and Actor.
Clifton Sparks: You did what?

Quote from Roland

Roland: And I know that a wise man once wrote: "Thank you to my wife, Moira."
Johnny: That's just the dedication, Roland.
Roland: That's as far as I got, Johnny. I'm sorry, I'm partial to historical fiction.

Quote from Moira

Alexis: So you still said yes?
Moira: I did. But on the condition that Clifton be written off the show death of my choosing. And I asked for more money.
Alexis: Okay. Yass, Mom.
Moira: And a diamond tennis bracelet.
Alexis: Okay. Well, that seems like a bit much. But it still sounds like you got what you're worth?
Moira: Oh, God no. I made them an offer they had to refuse.
Alexis: So, you're not doing it then?
Moira: No. Thank you, Alexis. Thank you for removing my rosy lunettes, so that I might see Clifton for who he really is. If you did all that without getting out of bed, imagine what you're capable of doing.

Quote from Moira

David: Okay, how is it that your daughter is also trapped in the cave but has never looked up once. You've been hanging over her for three straight episodes.
Moira: Oh, you know, children, this is where the season picks up. When the cave starts talking back to me. Voiced by the wonderful Peter Falk.
Alexis: I was gonna go for a run.
Moira: Shh. She's about to look up.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Looks very impressive, son. Expensive but impressive! Oh, I like this, little side salad.
David: Poor thing. That's the garnish for the lobster roll.
Johnny: Lobster! Ah. Are we inviting The Vanderbilts?

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Just the "little farmer's breakfast" for me, Twyla. I've got the tasting for the wedding this afternoon. Don't wanna spoil my appetite.
Twyla: Oh! You're not using the café for catering?
Moira: Yes, John. Why wouldn't you have Twyla cater David's big day?
Twyla: Well, the food for the wedding is my gift to David, so it's really his decision.
David: [chuckles] It's just the more you keep mentioning that it's a gift, the less and less it feels like a gift.
Johnny: You know, I-I was just thinking that, you know, how can Twyla enjoy herself at the wedding if she's-if she's working?
Twyla: I'm invited to the wedding?
David: Sure looks like it. [both laugh]

Quote from Roland

Johnny: Well, thanks for turning up so early, everyone. And welcome. My name is Johnny...
Roland: Johnny Rose. It's printed right here on the cover of the book that he's handing out to all of you.
Roland: And my name is Roland Schitt... And I'm the boss you're gonna come to when you don't understand why this guy is making you read about VHS tapes.
Johnny: Not exactly the united front we had discussed, Roland.
Roland: Well, Johnny, somebody has to inspire these people.

Quote from Moira

Moira: And where do we think we're going?
Alexis: Well, I feel like your publicist should be there if you're meeting with Tickle Bernstein.
Moira: [chuckles] Tippy. It's Tippy, and no, not necessary, dear. Not in your condition. Thank you.
Alexis: No, it's fine. I'll just throw on some clothes.
Moira: No! I insist. Mummy can handle this one all by herself. All right? What's important is that you stay here where no one can see you and focus on your critical self-care.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Oh, I wanna see this.
[on an old Sunrise Bay:]
Clifton Sparks: You can and you know it!
Moira: How dare you make me kill my father twice! [repeated slaps] You'll pay for this one day.

Quote from Stevie

Stevie: Mr. Rose, this looks pretty fancy. You sure you're okay to pay for it? I know you have the motel to worry about.
Johnny: Well, I can't back out now, Stevie.
Stevie: David would understand. I mean, not at first, but deep down he's not a total monster.

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