Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Milk Money’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Schitt's Creek: Milk Money

208. Milk Money

Aired February 23, 2016

Johnny spots an opportunity to make money in raw milk. Meanwhile, David is caught in the middle of Moira and Jocelyn's election fight.

Quote from David

David: You know, being approachable isn't that important anyway. The Queen hasn't smiled since the 70's, and her birthdays are still very well attended.
Moira: Exactly! Wait. What are you saying?

Rate

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: It's just a checkpoint, okay? I've been through tons of these in Johannesburg, um, it's like a drive thru, except everybody has a gun.
Johnny: When were you in Johannesburg?!
Alexis: I don't know. I remember I just got my braces off, so...
Johnny: You were 14, in South Africa?!

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: Just remember, no sudden movements, do not reach for the glove box, and not matter what happens do not tell them your real name.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Stevie! Stevie, you're an average Joe... Anne. You must have an opinion.
Stevie: On what?
Moira: About my approachability. Jocelyn seemed to insinuate that I am not at one with the people. But I've always believed that you lead with your best foot forward, and the masses will follow!
David: You sound a bit like a dictator.
Moira: Oh enough, David. Stevie understands!

Quote from Twyla

Twyla: Between us, I had a bad experience with black market milk.
Johnny: Oh?
Twyla: Granted, I bought it from a man who I later found out was a drifter. Anyway, it made a lot of people sick, and I am almost positive now it wasn't cow's milk.
Johnny: Okay.
Twyla: It might've been elk's milk. Is elk's milk a thing?
Johnny: I don't know. I don't know.

Quote from Stevie

Moira: As a strong willed modern woman, with a high school degree, you know how hard we have to work to be taken seriously!
Stevie: I actually went to college, but sure. I would vote for you based solely on the fact that you wore this outfit to the cafe for breakfast.

Quote from Moira

Moira: David? David! David, I have an urgent campaign related question: I am approachable...
David: Is that a question?
Moira: Yes, the question is: I am approachable...
David: That sounds more like a fact that you're sharing with me.
Moira: Are you saying you disagree?
David: With your statement? Um...

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: You're thinking about becoming a drug dealer? I mean, I get it, it's fast money, and no one would ever suspect you.
Johnny: I'm thinking of selling raw milk.
Alexis: Oh. I don't think that's right for you.
Johnny: But selling drugs is?!
Alexis: Okay, I had a friend in Venice Beach who sold raw milk, and his entire compound was raided. I mean, he also sold drugs, but like...

Quote from Moira

Moira: I saw Jocelyn today.
David: You did?
Moira: Mmm-hmm. She looked very different. Mostly improved, though I must say, I didn't like the matchy matchy skirt and blazer! No, she looked like an ageing stewardess from a Latvian airline!
David: I told her not to wear the jacket with the skirt, so I don't know.

Quote from Moira

David: Well, I'm sorry, I felt very conflicted about the whole thing.
Moira: Of course you were. Now will you be a doll, and fetch Mummy a knife?
David: A knife?
Moira: Oh, I'm sorry, I think you'll find one lodged in the middle of my back.
David: Okay, well, that's a lot.
Moira: And when you pull it out of my back...
David: Okay, I'm gonna take a shower.
Moira: You can plunge it into my heart!
David: Okay, all right.
Moira: Plunge it into my heart!

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode