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‘The Olive Branch’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Schitt's Creek: The Olive Branch

409. The Olive Branch

Aired March 20, 2018

David tries to patch things up with Patrick. Meanwhile, Alexis starts a communications company and hopes to pitch the town on the idea of a singles' night, and Johnny gives Stevie a gift for being Employee of the Month.

Quote from Moira

Moira: After a glut of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation. Can we feel that? It's almost as though we're building towards some sort of inevitable climax.

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Quote from Moira

Moira: We landed on a one-of-a-kind event to celebrate and congregate those who happen to be unattached, uh, in the hopes of facilitating interpersonal connections.
Alexis: Sorry, so like a singles event, then?
Moira: That word is now considered derogatory. I believe they prefer to be called independents.
Alexis: So you stole my idea, took it to Council, and claimed it as your own?
Moira: Alexis, now is not the time for pettifogging!

Quote from Moira

Alexis: Excuse me, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm single. The singles market is very lucrative. Did you know, that there's a small town in Ireland that hosts a singles week every year, and it's become so popular, that they're able to subsidize their entirely yearly budget, just on profits?
Moira: It's a valiant first effort, Alexis, it is. But darling, do keep those wheels turning! As the Irish like to say, [Irish accent] it's a cinch to mash the Murphy where there's love.

Quote from Moira

Ronnie: I think we need to be more realistic about what we can pull off.
Moira: And who's to say what we can pull off? I recently heard of a small town in Scotland, no bigger than a thimble, that is making millions from a week-long singles fest. Now, if an idea as simple as that can work for a people as infamously disorganized as the Scotch, surely we can aspire to something of equal scale.

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: Here's the thing you should know about my Dad. Sweetest little guy, gives the worst gifts.
Stevie: Okay, well that makes me feel a little better.
Alexis: Like he built David a basketball court for his Bar Mitzvah.
Stevie: Oh, boy, okay.
Alexis: Mm hmm. And unfortunately, the only way to like, train it out of him, is to show him just how wrong the gift is. Like, David forced us to watch him shoot at a basket for 10 minutes, until the ball hit the rim, and then bounced back in his face. But it actually worked out perfectly, because all David really wanted for his Bar Mitzvah, was a nose job. They took the court down the next day.

Quote from Moira

Roland: All right, well, we have one here called Untitled Moira Rose Project.
Moira: I'd like us all to close our eyes, and picture 3 to 5 hundred acres of carefully-manicured lawn. Accessorized with sculptures from some of the world's most-significant cultural contributors. On your left, a whimsical gestalt by David Von Schlegell. On your right, a playful abstract by Isamu Noguchi. Dead ahead, your senses have just been affronted by a Magdalena Abakanowicz. Now, imagine an even more splendacious art park, in your very own backyard! Council, I humbly present Rosewood.
Roland: Er, yeah, I gotta say, you're not gonna find a bigger Noguchi-head than me, but I think I speak for everyone here when I say, good luck on getting your mitts on a Von Schlegell! [laughs, coughs] Am I right, guys?

Quote from Moira

Alexis: Okay, um, it's a singles night at the cafe. And the goal is, um, to get people from nearby communities together, for like romance and nibblies. And hire some staff, and dating experts, and make a whole night of it.
Moira: Darling, I realize the pickings are slim in this rural spanandry, but you can't ask Council to misuse public funds just so that you can find yourself a new boy toy.

Quote from Alexis

Stevie: By all means, feel free to use the printer whenever you like.
Alexis: Thank you. Just, um, receipt for business cards that I ordered. Hmm. And a few pages of temporary letterhead. And, um, a list of Buzzfeed's most motivational quotes for girl bosses under 30.

Quote from David

Patrick: Okay, David, well I'm gonna go to dinner, and if you wanted to join me, and pay for it, that could be a start.
David: Yeah, maybe I could do that. Uh, I just think I have something to do first, so...
Patrick: What is this?
David: Consider this my olive branch. [David dances and lip syncs as Tina Turner's "The Best" plays]

Quote from Moira

Alexis: As of today, feel free to refer to me as Alexis Rose, Founder and CEO of Alexis Rose Communications.
Moira: Alexis, that's wonderful!
Alexis: This is my first business proposal. I'm throwing my hat in the ring for the Arts and Culture Grant.
Moira: Wow! Now, don't get me wrong, there is no High-Street beret that I would rather have thrown in my ring, but, I have a funny feeling Council already has its favourite.
Alexis: Okay, well I wish I knew it was rigged before I worked so hard on it.
Moira: Oh, very well, Alexis, let's hear your elevator pitch. But bear in mind, I have to get off on the next floor.

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